As I have absolutely no idea what's going on, I have questions -
this is the Helen half of the couple she was dating yes ?
wtf is DJ?
And despite not knowing the content, I think you did the right thing. I don't like knowing things are being said about me behind my back, and prefer to know the whole story, rather than a she said... Whether it's tough to hear or not at least you know exactly what's been said, particularly if it goes against what the person is saying to your face.
Whether it hurts or not, it's better to have a clear picture of what the other person's thinking about you.
[And you have done this before, certain emails you forwarded on to me... But as I'm sure I said at the time, I'm grateful for that, despite the shit it caused]
I just cannot sit back and see people say the most awful things about other people I know and like. A lot of people hid things from me when I was with Mark and it got to me bigtime as it felt that everyone knew my business and Mark's opinions and I didn't.
It just made me feel stupid.
If the situation had been the other way round I would've told Helen if Joan was being absolutely horrible about her.
I don't like people having half the information when people who aren't even involved have pretty much the full story - plus extra horribleness - which tipped it over the balance to the side where Joan was told.
If it is that extreme - and I mean extreme - I will say something if it is relevant, only if it is relevant.
Its not about deceiving or trust or anything like that, its about being fair and I don't think its fair that someone is asked to make big decisions with only the tiniest idea of what is going on.
That shouldn't have been my job to say, but it wasn't going to be said otherwise.
I don't like people having half the information when people who aren't even involved have pretty much the full story I totally agree with that bit in particular.
Tho if Helen hadn't filtered the post on DJ, wouldn't Jo have read it herself at some point ? But then there's the whole - you read this days ago and never told me - side, so you can't win. Hopefully Joan sees your point of view, and to hell with anyone else who isn't actually involved.
Obv H filtered it away from Joan, and she is allowed her deep dark thoughts, but she left it so a lot of people could see it who knew Joan.
I wasn't the only person who said something to Joan.
Joan would do the same for me. As I hope any of my friends would. It wasn't just a simple pissed off post. There was at least were a couple of extremely breathtakingly harsh comments that should not have seen the light of day!!
But whatever. I know it is not responsible for their break up. I'm sorry if H feels deceived, but there are filters for a reason. Plus it should have been said to Joan and it wasn't, yet others knew.
This is what actual paper journals are for, and your closest face-to-face friends, whatever was said sounds like it shouldn't have been posted on the net. Sounds like it should have been a personal rant put on paper for no one but herself, if it needed to be said outloud, or to be discussed in private between her and closest confidantes, if she wasn't able to say those things to the person they were about.
There's a difference between having a bitch about someone, and saying the kind of things you're privilledged to know because you were in a relationship with the person. And to put that kind of information on the net for random people to see is nothing less than cruel.
this is the Helen half of the couple she was dating yes ?
wtf is DJ?
And despite not knowing the content, I think you did the right thing. I don't like knowing things are being said about me behind my back, and prefer to know the whole story, rather than a she said... Whether it's tough to hear or not at least you know exactly what's been said, particularly if it goes against what the person is saying to your face.
Whether it hurts or not, it's better to have a clear picture of what the other person's thinking about you.
[And you have done this before, certain emails you forwarded on to me... But as I'm sure I said at the time, I'm grateful for that, despite the shit it caused]
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I just cannot sit back and see people say the most awful things about other people I know and like. A lot of people hid things from me when I was with Mark and it got to me bigtime as it felt that everyone knew my business and Mark's opinions and I didn't.
It just made me feel stupid.
If the situation had been the other way round I would've told Helen if Joan was being absolutely horrible about her.
I don't like people having half the information when people who aren't even involved have pretty much the full story - plus extra horribleness - which tipped it over the balance to the side where Joan was told.
If it is that extreme - and I mean extreme - I will say something if it is relevant, only if it is relevant.
Its not about deceiving or trust or anything like that, its about being fair and I don't think its fair that someone is asked to make big decisions with only the tiniest idea of what is going on.
That shouldn't have been my job to say, but it wasn't going to be said otherwise.
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Tho if Helen hadn't filtered the post on DJ, wouldn't Jo have read it herself at some point ? But then there's the whole - you read this days ago and never told me - side, so you can't win. Hopefully Joan sees your point of view, and to hell with anyone else who isn't actually involved.
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I wasn't the only person who said something to Joan.
Joan would do the same for me. As I hope any of my friends would. It wasn't just a simple pissed off post. There was at least were a couple of extremely breathtakingly harsh comments that should not have seen the light of day!!
But whatever. I know it is not responsible for their break up. I'm sorry if H feels deceived, but there are filters for a reason. Plus it should have been said to Joan and it wasn't, yet others knew.
Reply
This is what actual paper journals are for, and your closest face-to-face friends, whatever was said sounds like it shouldn't have been posted on the net. Sounds like it should have been a personal rant put on paper for no one but herself, if it needed to be said outloud, or to be discussed in private between her and closest confidantes, if she wasn't able to say those things to the person they were about.
There's a difference between having a bitch about someone, and saying the kind of things you're privilledged to know because you were in a relationship with the person. And to put that kind of information on the net for random people to see is nothing less than cruel.
Reply
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