Funny HAHA
Here's a couple of jokes for you guys!! They are under a cut cause they might be offensive. I mean really, have you ever heard a joke that wasn't offensive to someone that was still funny? *grins*
Little Pecker
A five-year-old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulled a beer out of the cooler. The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" Grandpa replied, "Can your pecker touch your ass?" The little boy answered, "No Grandpa, it's just a little pecker!" Grandpa said, "Then you're not man enough to have a beer."
A little later Grandpa lit up a cigar. The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" Once again, Grandpa asked, "Can your pecker touch your ass?" The little boy answered "no," again. Grandpa said, "Then you're not man enough to have a cigar."
A little later, the boy came out of the house with some cookies and milk. Grandpa asked, "Can I have a cookie?" The boy asked, "Can your pecker touch your ass?" Grandpa replied, "Hell yeah, my pecker can touch my ass!"
The boy replied, "Then go fuck yourself! Grandma made these for me."
Base Ball
At one point during a game, the coach called Will, one of his
9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose
together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is
called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a
pecker-head. Do you understand all that? Again the little boy
nodded.
He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so
another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good
sportsmanship to call your coach a "dumb ass" is it?"
The little boy said, "No Sir".
"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to
your grandmother".
Little Pecker
A five-year-old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulled a beer out of the cooler. The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" Grandpa replied, "Can your pecker touch your ass?" The little boy answered, "No Grandpa, it's just a little pecker!" Grandpa said, "Then you're not man enough to have a beer."
A little later Grandpa lit up a cigar. The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" Once again, Grandpa asked, "Can your pecker touch your ass?" The little boy answered "no," again. Grandpa said, "Then you're not man enough to have a cigar."
A little later, the boy came out of the house with some cookies and milk. Grandpa asked, "Can I have a cookie?" The boy asked, "Can your pecker touch your ass?" Grandpa replied, "Hell yeah, my pecker can touch my ass!"
The boy replied, "Then go fuck yourself! Grandma made these for me."
Base Ball
At one point during a game, the coach called Will, one of his
9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose
together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is
called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a
pecker-head. Do you understand all that? Again the little boy
nodded.
He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so
another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good
sportsmanship to call your coach a "dumb ass" is it?"
The little boy said, "No Sir".
"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to
your grandmother".