だからというわけではないが
i have been feeling like i need to pull myself together; in an oddly literal way. like i have been experiencing a bizarrely bifurcated reality that leads me into difficulties that i needn't be suffering. i feel like there is this other ben; bizarro ben, or some kind of Jekyll/Hyde self, which gets me into trouble. trouble i don't need or want, and the "main" self sees it all happenening, and can't do a goddamned thing about it.