(no subject)
My Christmas Monkeys
I remember my first time I went to a pet store by myself and I had a new crisp twenty dollar bill. I walked in to the store and I was amazed at all the sad animals. I saw a sign that said Monkey Sale. I walked over to the display and it was marked Monkeys for five Cents. I was a bit confused because usually monkeys are one hundred dollars or more so I took advantage of this deal and bought one hundred of them. I stuffed them all into two large plastic bags and dragged them home. I quickly ran to my room and shut the door. I opened the bag and the monkeys had gotten at little angry being trapped in a bag for a good hour. They did not adjust well to my small room. They did not want to play ring around the rosie as I once though. Instead they ran full speed from the floor on to the bed and into the wall. This only entertained me for about five minutes. Then after that they started punching each other in the genitals. Seeing them do this made me laugh. Then they started punching me in the genitals. I stopped laughing. I left the room to get some water and cookies for my hungry friends. When I returned they were all dead. Monkeys everywhere, on the bed, under the bed, and in the closet. I first decided that I would pretend they were stuffed animals but that only worked for about a week. My parents had left so I started the task of dealing with the little monkey bodies. I first tried flushing a monkey but midway through they got stuck and the bathroom was filling with water. I abandoned this idea I thought of burying them but the ground was frozen solid. I then took on the plan of freezing the monkeys but only two would fit in at a time and I had to take out my Ice Cream. At this point I had one monkey in the toilet, filling the bathroom up with water and two frozen monkeys in the freezer and ninety-seven rotting monkeys on my bed. I tried burning the monkeys but in turn found out my bed was flammable too. Now I had one really wet monkey, two very frozen monkeys, and Ninety Seven Burned monkeys. I couldn’t think clearly because I really had to pee. I heard the garbage truck and I became very hopeful. I ran to the truck and asked if I could give him the monkeys to bring to the dump. He said no, so I asked if he would take ninety seven burned monkeys he said no, then I asked if he would take two frozen monkey he said no. I didn’t ask about the really wet one. I decided I would mail them out to my friends for Christmas and if the gave me a confused look I would punch them in the genitals. Merry Christmas!
I remember my first time I went to a pet store by myself and I had a new crisp twenty dollar bill. I walked in to the store and I was amazed at all the sad animals. I saw a sign that said Monkey Sale. I walked over to the display and it was marked Monkeys for five Cents. I was a bit confused because usually monkeys are one hundred dollars or more so I took advantage of this deal and bought one hundred of them. I stuffed them all into two large plastic bags and dragged them home. I quickly ran to my room and shut the door. I opened the bag and the monkeys had gotten at little angry being trapped in a bag for a good hour. They did not adjust well to my small room. They did not want to play ring around the rosie as I once though. Instead they ran full speed from the floor on to the bed and into the wall. This only entertained me for about five minutes. Then after that they started punching each other in the genitals. Seeing them do this made me laugh. Then they started punching me in the genitals. I stopped laughing. I left the room to get some water and cookies for my hungry friends. When I returned they were all dead. Monkeys everywhere, on the bed, under the bed, and in the closet. I first decided that I would pretend they were stuffed animals but that only worked for about a week. My parents had left so I started the task of dealing with the little monkey bodies. I first tried flushing a monkey but midway through they got stuck and the bathroom was filling with water. I abandoned this idea I thought of burying them but the ground was frozen solid. I then took on the plan of freezing the monkeys but only two would fit in at a time and I had to take out my Ice Cream. At this point I had one monkey in the toilet, filling the bathroom up with water and two frozen monkeys in the freezer and ninety-seven rotting monkeys on my bed. I tried burning the monkeys but in turn found out my bed was flammable too. Now I had one really wet monkey, two very frozen monkeys, and Ninety Seven Burned monkeys. I couldn’t think clearly because I really had to pee. I heard the garbage truck and I became very hopeful. I ran to the truck and asked if I could give him the monkeys to bring to the dump. He said no, so I asked if he would take ninety seven burned monkeys he said no, then I asked if he would take two frozen monkey he said no. I didn’t ask about the really wet one. I decided I would mail them out to my friends for Christmas and if the gave me a confused look I would punch them in the genitals. Merry Christmas!