(no subject)
as hannah& i have repeatedly nattered on about, the conclusion is that, some of us are by default incredibly hungry for male attention and therefore are in crazy 1-sided love all the time.i go for ages blinkered oblivious, till something tiny and bright is revealed & i seriously experience a good hammering on the head for not ever noticing. it could be small as a touch, a word, wide as an entire revelation. most times it feels beautifully strange, "are you real?," i goggle foolishly, then the sudden instinct to settle down & procreate as much as possible takes over.
one time i felt i was destined to mate for life with this sparkling boy, because of all things he only ate cripsy french fries and i only ate soggy ones.
another, i was only a duckling of 12, it was the first time i felt a boys little sideways smile shoot through me, it also marked the start of my obsession with gloomy romanticism secreted in cheap notebooks where no one could find me. (shocking) the split moment that my dream of the perfect moment, of locking eyes and souls as the songs only we love play, nearly shimmers into an actual possibility, i live for it...on average 2.7 times a year.