I've Lost it....
I used to have two beautiful rings on my hands. On the left was my stunning engagement ring. It is an antique aquamarine princess cut 18 karat white gold ring. Then on my right hand, I had my promise ring. It was a sapphire ring. Both were absolutely beautiful. I loved wearing them.
The reason why I'm writing about my rings is because I've lost them. Not in the way that you're thinking of. Unfortunately, like most couples, my fiance and I have been arguing more and more since the birth of the daughter. I hate it! This is not how I imagine the beginning of how our family would be. We fight about everything. Last Thursday, we got into this huge fight. I started as me being mad about a certain predicament I'm involved, not involving him at all. He makes to know what's wrong but I really don't want to talk about it because I'll burst out in tears and I hate doing so. Then in order to "calm" me down, he takes me by the fists and wouldn't let go. I wasn't going to do anything destructive to anything or myself. I was just simply angry. I don't want him touching me at the moment so I try to struggle my way out. I'm sure others have felt this way if they're emotional, you want anyone touching you or talking to you. Well that was exactly the mood I was in.
Then he got me around the waist to try to continue to "calm" me down but again I still don't want to be touched. This entire time he was trying to calm me down, he was hurting me. Hurting me that the following morning I woke sore because of me struggling and him trying to "calm" me down. I told him if he was ever to hurt me that I do not want to be with him anymore. So I took my engagement ring off. Then he said, "If that's the way you want it, give me the other ring too." And proceeded to take the other ring off himself. I got angry even more because I don't want to give up any of my rings at all. I love him so much. I've been with him for almost 3 years. I want to marry him! I wouldn't have said I do if I didn't love him. We have a child together that we both love and care for. He's been with me through all our trials and tribulations. Even with both of our secrets, we have still prevailed over everything and loved each other regardless. Why would I want to give back the rings unless there was a good reason for it?
Later that night we discussed what had happened. I told him what I was angry about and in response he told me I needed better communication skills so he would know next time to leave me alone. I know I need to work on those but still he's known me for almost 3 years and in order to change a certain communication habit I've had my entire life will not just change overnight. It is a work in progress that I know I need to do. He needs to understand sometimes people are not going to always do certain things his way.
Anyway he debated back and forth for over 2 hours. It seemed like we didn't get anything resolved. He made it sound like the entire argument was my fault. At the end, he didn't return my rings and he hasn't mentioned of them since. Technically we're still together but it feels different to me. Now if others see my hands and see no rings, what the hell am I supposed to say? People are going to think we're not together anymore. I don't know what to do and I hate it. Sometimes I wish I could move back to NY without him. Let him see the consequences of his actions.
Sorry for the rant but I don't have anymore to talk to about anything besides him. I don't have friends who can understand or who have time for me. This is the best I can do.
The reason why I'm writing about my rings is because I've lost them. Not in the way that you're thinking of. Unfortunately, like most couples, my fiance and I have been arguing more and more since the birth of the daughter. I hate it! This is not how I imagine the beginning of how our family would be. We fight about everything. Last Thursday, we got into this huge fight. I started as me being mad about a certain predicament I'm involved, not involving him at all. He makes to know what's wrong but I really don't want to talk about it because I'll burst out in tears and I hate doing so. Then in order to "calm" me down, he takes me by the fists and wouldn't let go. I wasn't going to do anything destructive to anything or myself. I was just simply angry. I don't want him touching me at the moment so I try to struggle my way out. I'm sure others have felt this way if they're emotional, you want anyone touching you or talking to you. Well that was exactly the mood I was in.
Then he got me around the waist to try to continue to "calm" me down but again I still don't want to be touched. This entire time he was trying to calm me down, he was hurting me. Hurting me that the following morning I woke sore because of me struggling and him trying to "calm" me down. I told him if he was ever to hurt me that I do not want to be with him anymore. So I took my engagement ring off. Then he said, "If that's the way you want it, give me the other ring too." And proceeded to take the other ring off himself. I got angry even more because I don't want to give up any of my rings at all. I love him so much. I've been with him for almost 3 years. I want to marry him! I wouldn't have said I do if I didn't love him. We have a child together that we both love and care for. He's been with me through all our trials and tribulations. Even with both of our secrets, we have still prevailed over everything and loved each other regardless. Why would I want to give back the rings unless there was a good reason for it?
Later that night we discussed what had happened. I told him what I was angry about and in response he told me I needed better communication skills so he would know next time to leave me alone. I know I need to work on those but still he's known me for almost 3 years and in order to change a certain communication habit I've had my entire life will not just change overnight. It is a work in progress that I know I need to do. He needs to understand sometimes people are not going to always do certain things his way.
Anyway he debated back and forth for over 2 hours. It seemed like we didn't get anything resolved. He made it sound like the entire argument was my fault. At the end, he didn't return my rings and he hasn't mentioned of them since. Technically we're still together but it feels different to me. Now if others see my hands and see no rings, what the hell am I supposed to say? People are going to think we're not together anymore. I don't know what to do and I hate it. Sometimes I wish I could move back to NY without him. Let him see the consequences of his actions.
Sorry for the rant but I don't have anymore to talk to about anything besides him. I don't have friends who can understand or who have time for me. This is the best I can do.