everything else seems so small.

[cateybug]

ever find yourself wondering how things would be different if you'd not done something? how much better or worse your life would be, how many more or less people you would know, how much more mistakes you would have or have not made?

sometimes i find myself wondering what would be different.
not wishing, just wondering.

does everything in the world that shimmers really fade?
sometimes i think it does.
but other time i couldn't ever think that.

i wonder what would be different if i'd gone to camp the two summers that i didn't, or what would be different if i'd never met carmen, james, scott, dylan, brandon, sarah, nick, or practically anyone. how many things would be different if i'd decided to go to hewitt instead of pinson.

sometimes i wonder what would be different if i were different.
what if i had a temper and went off on the people i loved?
what if i was too shy to ever say hey to anyone i didn't know?

sometimes i break at the slightest bend.
i crack at the smallest twist.
i fall at the shortest hill.