Ten minutes
I’ve decided to make Expecting a series and thought this would be a good second chapter.
But there are parts I feel could be a little stronger so I thought I would get an opinion here before I post it on ffnet. Tell me what you think and if you see any room for improvement.
Ten minutes
Anna placed the small plastic stick on the lip of the sink. Picking up the timer she set it to ten minutes and placed it next to the plastic stick. Not giving the pair a second glance she sunk to the floor next to her fiancée, wrapped her arms around her knees mirroring his position, and stared aimlessly at the door.
*1 minute 30 seconds*
“You are.” Stated Yoh. It was a simple statement not containing much emotion.
Anna let out an exasperated sigh. “We don’t know that”
“But you are..”
“We don’t know that!” Anna was careful not to raise her voice any higher than was necessary to get her point across. No one knew what they were doing and she wanted to keep it that way. Anna turned her attention back to the door.
*2 minutes 22 seconds*
“What are we going to tell everyone?”
Anna glared at Yoh out of the corner of her eye. “What do you mean tell them, we don’t even know.”
Yoh smiled and shook his head. “Yes we do. You know and I know” he pointed towards the sink “the stick knows, we all know. You just don’t want to admit it.”
Anna rose to her feet, her fists clenched tight at her sides. “No we most certainly do not know. And I do not think I like how you’re taking this.”
Yoh smiled even wider and laughed. “No, I am taking this surprisingly well. You on the other hand are not. And I get the feeling that when this test is done your going to … flip out and…”
*3 minutes 40 seconds*
“Flip out?” Anna quickly turned around and faced him. The anger was apparent in her eyes and as soon as Yoh saw it he knew he made a mistake. “You think I’m going to flip out?”
Not thinking Yoh quickly nodded his head. Another glare from Anna and he realized his mistake. “No not flip out….but your not going to take it well…” from the look on her face Anna wasn’t taking Yoh’s opinion well. He nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “At first. At first your not going to take it well but once you warm up to the idea..”
Anna grabbed the sides of her head and covered her ears. “I don’t believe you! You’re acting like we’re getting a puppy. This is not a puppy Yoh!”
Yoh jumped to his feet and placed his hands on her shoulder. Anna recoiled, quickly shoving him away. “Don’t you dare touch me! That’s how we got into this mess in the first place.” She turned around and stomped out of the bathroom slamming the door behind her.
*4 minutes 54 seconds*
Yoh quickly followed her out into the hall. The slamming of another door told Yoh she had retreated into her room. He paused outside her door trying to get himself together enough to go another round with her. This morning had gone bad. When the thought of her being pregnant first came to him he hadn’t taken it well. In fact he had been completely terrified.
When he voiced his concerns to her Anna had thought he was being completely ridiculous. Just because she was sick she said didn’t mean she was pregnant. He had been the one who had continued to push the subject. Anna insisted that if he was going to be persistent he be the one to go and buy the test.
That only led to another fight about why he should be the one to buy the test. His argument had been full of what he considered good points. Things like how embarrassing it would be for him to buy a pregnancy test and how he would actually have to ask for one because they were kept behind the counter. He even resorted to saying that he always did the shopping so she should do it just this once.
Anna countered that last point with an earth shattering slap and an unhappy Yoh went to the store. The walk there and back had given him enough time to think about the situation and calm some of his fears. He still wasn’t thrilled at the idea of becoming a father so young but not nearly as afraid of it as he had been this morning.
If only Anna would start feeling the same way.
*5 minutes 16 seconds*
Yoh entered Anna’s room ready for another fight. Anna didn’t even acknowledge his presence. Instead she sat on the edge of her futon, her back turned to him. Yoh had been expecting another slap and was unprepared for her silence and lack of violence. He sat down on the opposite end of the futon. Silence filled the room.
*6 minutes 23 seconds*
“You think this is easy for me?”
Her sudden statement surprised him. “What?”
Anna glanced over her shoulder quickly and then looked away again. “You’ve had the thought of me being pregnant for what, a day, Maybe two? I have had to deal with this for weeks. Am I pregnant, am I not pregnant, what are you going to think of this? How are we going to pay for a baby? And what about the Inn Yoh? Do you know how difficult it’s going to be to run the inn if I’m caring for a child? You think I haven’t been thinking about this? Because I have!”
Yoh crawled next to her. “Ok, ok but you’ve got to calm down.”
Anna glared daggers at Yoh. “Calm down! You expect me to calm down?!”
“Is everything alright up there?”
* 7 minutes 44 seconds*
Anna and Yoh both turned their heads towards Tamao’s voice. Yoh quickly ran out of the room and towards the stairs. Tamao was almost to the top when Yoh stopped her. “Yeah everything’s fine.”
Tamao didn’t look like she believed him. “Are you sure because miss Anna sounded upset and..”
Anna appeared in the doorway behind Yoh. “Tamao would you mind fixing dinner?”
Tamao glanced nervously between the shaman and the Itako before nodding and disappearing down the stairs.
* 8 minutes 55 seconds *
“Anna?”
She held up her hand to stop him from speaking. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore, not until we know.” She pressed her back against the wall. “I don’t need to think about this or plan anything until I know for sure.”
Yoh stared at her for a moment and then sighed. “Anna, you need to stop talking about this like you’re alone. Because your not you know.”
* 9 minutes 3 seconds *
Anna kept her eyes on the floor as Yoh continued. “I’m with you in this Anna. Not only do you have me but our family and our friends.” Yoh closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms. He closed his eyes and placed his head next to hers holding her tightly. “Everything will work out, I promise.”
Anna remained stiff in his arms for a moment before slowly melting against him and buried her face in the crook of his shoulder.
* 10 minutes *
But there are parts I feel could be a little stronger so I thought I would get an opinion here before I post it on ffnet. Tell me what you think and if you see any room for improvement.
Ten minutes
Anna placed the small plastic stick on the lip of the sink. Picking up the timer she set it to ten minutes and placed it next to the plastic stick. Not giving the pair a second glance she sunk to the floor next to her fiancée, wrapped her arms around her knees mirroring his position, and stared aimlessly at the door.
*1 minute 30 seconds*
“You are.” Stated Yoh. It was a simple statement not containing much emotion.
Anna let out an exasperated sigh. “We don’t know that”
“But you are..”
“We don’t know that!” Anna was careful not to raise her voice any higher than was necessary to get her point across. No one knew what they were doing and she wanted to keep it that way. Anna turned her attention back to the door.
*2 minutes 22 seconds*
“What are we going to tell everyone?”
Anna glared at Yoh out of the corner of her eye. “What do you mean tell them, we don’t even know.”
Yoh smiled and shook his head. “Yes we do. You know and I know” he pointed towards the sink “the stick knows, we all know. You just don’t want to admit it.”
Anna rose to her feet, her fists clenched tight at her sides. “No we most certainly do not know. And I do not think I like how you’re taking this.”
Yoh smiled even wider and laughed. “No, I am taking this surprisingly well. You on the other hand are not. And I get the feeling that when this test is done your going to … flip out and…”
*3 minutes 40 seconds*
“Flip out?” Anna quickly turned around and faced him. The anger was apparent in her eyes and as soon as Yoh saw it he knew he made a mistake. “You think I’m going to flip out?”
Not thinking Yoh quickly nodded his head. Another glare from Anna and he realized his mistake. “No not flip out….but your not going to take it well…” from the look on her face Anna wasn’t taking Yoh’s opinion well. He nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “At first. At first your not going to take it well but once you warm up to the idea..”
Anna grabbed the sides of her head and covered her ears. “I don’t believe you! You’re acting like we’re getting a puppy. This is not a puppy Yoh!”
Yoh jumped to his feet and placed his hands on her shoulder. Anna recoiled, quickly shoving him away. “Don’t you dare touch me! That’s how we got into this mess in the first place.” She turned around and stomped out of the bathroom slamming the door behind her.
*4 minutes 54 seconds*
Yoh quickly followed her out into the hall. The slamming of another door told Yoh she had retreated into her room. He paused outside her door trying to get himself together enough to go another round with her. This morning had gone bad. When the thought of her being pregnant first came to him he hadn’t taken it well. In fact he had been completely terrified.
When he voiced his concerns to her Anna had thought he was being completely ridiculous. Just because she was sick she said didn’t mean she was pregnant. He had been the one who had continued to push the subject. Anna insisted that if he was going to be persistent he be the one to go and buy the test.
That only led to another fight about why he should be the one to buy the test. His argument had been full of what he considered good points. Things like how embarrassing it would be for him to buy a pregnancy test and how he would actually have to ask for one because they were kept behind the counter. He even resorted to saying that he always did the shopping so she should do it just this once.
Anna countered that last point with an earth shattering slap and an unhappy Yoh went to the store. The walk there and back had given him enough time to think about the situation and calm some of his fears. He still wasn’t thrilled at the idea of becoming a father so young but not nearly as afraid of it as he had been this morning.
If only Anna would start feeling the same way.
*5 minutes 16 seconds*
Yoh entered Anna’s room ready for another fight. Anna didn’t even acknowledge his presence. Instead she sat on the edge of her futon, her back turned to him. Yoh had been expecting another slap and was unprepared for her silence and lack of violence. He sat down on the opposite end of the futon. Silence filled the room.
*6 minutes 23 seconds*
“You think this is easy for me?”
Her sudden statement surprised him. “What?”
Anna glanced over her shoulder quickly and then looked away again. “You’ve had the thought of me being pregnant for what, a day, Maybe two? I have had to deal with this for weeks. Am I pregnant, am I not pregnant, what are you going to think of this? How are we going to pay for a baby? And what about the Inn Yoh? Do you know how difficult it’s going to be to run the inn if I’m caring for a child? You think I haven’t been thinking about this? Because I have!”
Yoh crawled next to her. “Ok, ok but you’ve got to calm down.”
Anna glared daggers at Yoh. “Calm down! You expect me to calm down?!”
“Is everything alright up there?”
* 7 minutes 44 seconds*
Anna and Yoh both turned their heads towards Tamao’s voice. Yoh quickly ran out of the room and towards the stairs. Tamao was almost to the top when Yoh stopped her. “Yeah everything’s fine.”
Tamao didn’t look like she believed him. “Are you sure because miss Anna sounded upset and..”
Anna appeared in the doorway behind Yoh. “Tamao would you mind fixing dinner?”
Tamao glanced nervously between the shaman and the Itako before nodding and disappearing down the stairs.
* 8 minutes 55 seconds *
“Anna?”
She held up her hand to stop him from speaking. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore, not until we know.” She pressed her back against the wall. “I don’t need to think about this or plan anything until I know for sure.”
Yoh stared at her for a moment and then sighed. “Anna, you need to stop talking about this like you’re alone. Because your not you know.”
* 9 minutes 3 seconds *
Anna kept her eyes on the floor as Yoh continued. “I’m with you in this Anna. Not only do you have me but our family and our friends.” Yoh closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms. He closed his eyes and placed his head next to hers holding her tightly. “Everything will work out, I promise.”
Anna remained stiff in his arms for a moment before slowly melting against him and buried her face in the crook of his shoulder.
* 10 minutes *