(no subject)
hmmmm....I wonder if it has been long enough....
I am nervous. I don't really know how to exactly explain the things that i am feeling except that i fell like i am losing people who I feel really close to. I don't necessarily know what i mean. I don't think that it is my fault neessarily either. I mean i think that i am being avoided for some reason that i don't know...and I don't know what i did to deserve it. It kind of freaks me out. However, i could just be being paranoid...I don't know. But i am kind of scared that they don't want anything to do with me. It is weird. It kind of hurts.
damnit.
Ok, well i should probably stop acting like a thirteen-year-old girl now....
Christmas is coming. i love this time of year. I love shopping for my family as well as how close mine seems to get arond this time of year.
Speaking of that, i had a huge talk wth my mom last night. We ended up working a lot of things out about me and treatment and stuff. Which i think is going to go on the backburner until school ends. however, we decided that surgery is most likely what i need now, to start to get better. That is a really scary thought, but i agree that if i am ever going to get better then i need to start somewhere.
The semester at school ended well. It was not going so well the last two weeks of the semester or so, but by the time that finals were over, i realsized that kato is a perfect place for me to be. It is going to be much easier for me once i have my car down there, but even without it, I love what i have going.
I am watching the show "the Secret Lives of Women" on oxygen...yeah yeah laugh it up. Right now it is about women who have shopping issues. In all honesty, it is funny because if i had the money, i would totally be one of them!!! haha. Not really, but it is funny/kind of sad because these women are like literally addicted...jeez. It is also funny because then they have thier friends come over and look at all of their clothes that they have and because they also never throw anything away you see things from like the 80's....mmmm the 80's. How I love them. haha
anyways....
I am nervous. I don't really know how to exactly explain the things that i am feeling except that i fell like i am losing people who I feel really close to. I don't necessarily know what i mean. I don't think that it is my fault neessarily either. I mean i think that i am being avoided for some reason that i don't know...and I don't know what i did to deserve it. It kind of freaks me out. However, i could just be being paranoid...I don't know. But i am kind of scared that they don't want anything to do with me. It is weird. It kind of hurts.
damnit.
Ok, well i should probably stop acting like a thirteen-year-old girl now....
Christmas is coming. i love this time of year. I love shopping for my family as well as how close mine seems to get arond this time of year.
Speaking of that, i had a huge talk wth my mom last night. We ended up working a lot of things out about me and treatment and stuff. Which i think is going to go on the backburner until school ends. however, we decided that surgery is most likely what i need now, to start to get better. That is a really scary thought, but i agree that if i am ever going to get better then i need to start somewhere.
The semester at school ended well. It was not going so well the last two weeks of the semester or so, but by the time that finals were over, i realsized that kato is a perfect place for me to be. It is going to be much easier for me once i have my car down there, but even without it, I love what i have going.
I am watching the show "the Secret Lives of Women" on oxygen...yeah yeah laugh it up. Right now it is about women who have shopping issues. In all honesty, it is funny because if i had the money, i would totally be one of them!!! haha. Not really, but it is funny/kind of sad because these women are like literally addicted...jeez. It is also funny because then they have thier friends come over and look at all of their clothes that they have and because they also never throw anything away you see things from like the 80's....mmmm the 80's. How I love them. haha
anyways....