Hope for the hopeless
I took a leap and went to Trevor's birthday party for a couple hours today. When I had received the invitation on Facebook a while back, I was dreading it. Desperately wondering what excuses I could come up with not to attend, because of my social phobia. I had intimidating visions of a video game-geared party in which I was deemed unacceptable, as a barely gaming outsider. But as the past few weeks have seen my mental health slowly improving in little ways, I woke up from my second headache-induced nap of the day and realized that I actually really wanted to go. I braved my fear of going out alone, of taking the bus on my own, of heading alone to an unfamiliar destination, and of being around people I'd barely or never met before. I sweated profusely and began visibly shaking as I prepared to head out, but I was determined. And I had a really good time. I even regretted that I had to leave the party so early, to do our weekly grocery shopping. And not only did I enjoy myself while there, but being able to do so in spite of my terror invigorated me for the rest of the night. I think I'm going to stick this one in the win column.