this is redundant
i feel like a phoney. i start to think my entire life is one big shamble. i'm completely clueless, i just sat into a living room for a good two hours having no idea whether anyone wanted me to be there finding out that no one really did and realizing if i wasn't so selfish and lonely/pathetic i wouldn't have wanted to stay there either or wander the castro by myself eating safewat sushi an d spending 8 dollars on a taxi. i don't know what i'm doing why i chose being an artist for somesort of professin and why i think i'm gay i don't really want o be anything i want to sleep till everything mends. and i want to buy cu tips my ears hurt.