I hope she doesn't mind but after reading midgewood58's excellent fic "Cowboys", I got a plot bunny for a Kim companion piece. Her story and this one are both based on a deleted scene from 3x22
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She saw the caller ID and even though part of her wanted to do nothing more than sink down and cry for the lives lost during the day, she couldn't help but smile. (TMI! I'd get rid of the "even though part of her" etc. I think you've well established that she's tired.) -- I had that part about wanting to sink down just because it would seem heartless to smile when all these people were dead and Michelle had just died. So I kinda wanted to show those conflicting emotions.
Tony killed my dad. Tony shot my dad. Tony shot him in cold-blood. I want to see him dead. He deserves to die. Ah, bother, where's Athena when you need her? ;) You know, if Kim had a time-turner she could go back in time and study law to make sure Tony got punished to the fullest extent of it. ;) (suggestion, stick with either "Tony killed my dad." or "TOny shot my dad." and get rid of the other) -- here I wanted to show that she's stream of conciousness almost in her thought process. Still trying to accept that he did it. So that Tony killed my dad. Tony shot my dad. Is her trying to convince herself of the reality. Although granted it probably didn't come off that way - lol.
She saw the caller ID and even though part of her wanted to do nothing more than sink down and cry for the lives lost during the day, she couldn't help but smile. (TMI! I'd get rid of the "even though part of her" etc. I think you've well established that she's tired.) -- I had that part about wanting to sink down just because it would seem heartless to smile when all these people were dead and Michelle had just died. So I kinda wanted to show those conflicting emotions.
Tony killed my dad. Tony shot my dad. Tony shot him in cold-blood. I want to see him dead. He deserves to die.
Ah, bother, where's Athena when you need her? ;) You know, if Kim had a time-turner she could go back in time and study law to make sure Tony got punished to the fullest extent of it. ;) (suggestion, stick with either "Tony killed my dad." or "TOny shot my dad." and get rid of the other) -- here I wanted to show that she's stream of conciousness almost in her thought process. Still trying to accept that he did it. So that Tony killed my dad. Tony shot my dad. Is her trying to convince herself of the reality. Although granted it probably didn't come off that way - lol.
Thank you for the suggestions! and <3
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