"What is happiness?"
"What is happiness?"
Chansoo
Summary:
If you had asked a nine year old Park Chanyeol “what is happiness?’ he would have told you that happiness is ferret. If you had asked an eight year old Doh Kyungsoo “what is happiness?’ he would have told you begrudgingly that happiness is definitely not a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. / pure fluff / university!au
If you had asked a nine year old Park Chanyeol “what is happiness?’ he would have told you that happiness is ferret.
Twelve years later, ferret may not be his answer anymore, but Chanyeol could still tell you without a doubt what happiness is. With a goofy smile on his handsome face, he’d say that happiness is the first ray of sunshine in the morning, the tiny flames burning on the candles of your birthday cake, and the first snowfall of the season. He’d tell you happiness is when you receive a hug from your family, when your share a good laugh with your friends, and when you snuggle contently into the warmth of your comforter. Chanyeol was never short of happiness; to him, almost every moment of his life is happiness.
Doh Kyungsoo on the other hand always had trouble answering the question “what is happiness?” When he was eight, he thought the meaning of happiness was eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for every meal, until one day he had an allergic reaction to peanuts. Shocked, abhorred and feeling betrayed by his own body’s denial for what he thought was happiness, little Kyungsoo asked the first philosophically question of his life: what exactly is the meaning of happiness? Somehow this struggle for truth continued for twelve long years and now as an adult, Kyungsoo still could not come to a satisfying answer.
Looking up at the tall grinning boy standing beside him with a ‘FREE HUG!’ sign hung crookedly in front of his chest, Kyungsoo blinked blankly. Eyes wide and jaw clenched tight, he carefully but quickly took in the playful gaze, blinding smile and colourful attires of the handsome stranger standing a little too close to him for comfort; Kyungsoo sworn he also saw sunshine and rainbow shooting from behind the tall stranger like a water fountain, but then mentally smacked himself for being silly and delusional. Confused at the situation but too shy to speak, Kyungsoo continued to blink while the other continued to smile. Feeling attention directed towards them from all corners of the cozy university coffee shop, Kyungsoo gulped and blinked a little faster; a thin layer of perspiration began to coat his tense back. Finally, the stranger broke the silence.
“Hi, I’m Chanyeol,” the stranger said cheerfully waving his lanky arm, his voice much deeper then Kyungsoo had expected. Nodding slowly, Kyungsoo readied himself to reply but was cut off by the stranger instead, “I love your eyes! They remind me of the summer night skies when all the stars are shining bright!”
Kyungsoo’s face blushed a crimson red at the frank compliment and his already surprised eyes widened even more. Mouth slightly agape from shock, his lips quivered but he could not find his voice. Amused at the other’s expression and adorable flushed face, Chanyeol laughed heartily, mirth shimmering in his brown eyes.
“Now you look like the red balloons at the carnival!” Chanyeol doubled over in laughter, his hands clapping together like Kevin the Seal from the aquarium. Mesmerized by the other’s overwhelming presence and deep, booming voice, Kyungsoo stared in a daze. Subconsciously, Kyungsoo noticed the faint lines around the corner of Chanyeol’s squinted eyes as he laughed, and how all of his pearly white teeth were in plain view as he opened his mouth wide, spreading rumbles of happy laugher into the vicinity. Gradually, the corner of Kyungsoo’s mouth also curled up uncontrollably and a heart-shaped smile bloomed on the nervous boy’s blushing face.
Suddenly, Chanyeol stopped laughing and in awe, he looked at Kyungsoo’s smiling face and a similar warm smile also spread across his face. Swooping down abruptly, Chanyeol gave the nervous young man a tight squeeze and inhaled the other’s scent of clean laundry and freshly cut grass. Surprised again, Kyungsoo stiffened in the other’s affectionate embrace and the pounding of his heartbeat echoed in tune with the other’s breathing by his ear. Pulling away a second later, although it felt more like an hour to Kyungsoo, Chanyeol chuckled timidly with tinted cheeks. Embarrassed at his own action, the lanky young man’s eyes wandered around the coffee shop while he pointed frantically at the sign on his chest, slightly crinkled from the hug.
“Heh… I’m, uh, I’m giving out free hugs with some friends,” he stuttered and Kyungsoo nodded slowly once again, still wide eyed and blushing. A few seats away, a group of girls giggled silently behind their hands.
“The world needs more love, you know, so people can be happy,” Chanyeol explained, his mind buzzing and lips drying, “Just um… yah, hugs. Hugs are good. Hugs are great. Hugs make me happy, and hopefully you too… You’re, you’re um, you’re good to hug, I mean, good with hugging.”
The group of girls burst out laughing at the hilarity of the adorable scene, and both young men’s cheeks burnt in awkwardness. Just then, a charming young man with droopy eyes wearing the same “FREE HUG!” sign ran into the coffee shop as the bell above the door jangled crisply, followed by another handsome fellow with a Cheshire cat grin. Making a ruckus in the cozy coffee shop, they tugged at Chanyeol to leave while saying something about being late and someone named Kris was going to have their heads. The loud one with droopy eyes spared a glance at Kyungsoo and pleasantly surprised with who he saw, he smirked and his expression was mirrored by the other loud one with mischievous glints in his cat-like eyes.
“Wait, I didn’t even get your name,” Chanyeol shouted in a frenzy as he was dragged out of the door by his best friends, “b-but my name is Park Chanyeol! I am a third year at this university in the music department! You go here too right?”
With another jangle of the bell, the noisy trio left the premise and the small university coffee shop settled back to its usual peace. Overwhelmed by everything that had just transpired minutes ago, Kyungsoo stared blankly at the door; he recognized the noisy one with droopy eyes, he thought. If he was not mistaken, his name was Byun Baekhyun and they were in an elective together last semester. Blinking a couple of times more, the quiet boy came to again and still a little distracted, he returned to his readings with a small smile on his pink face. The sounds of Chanyeol’s rumbling laughter and deep voice echoed in his ears, and Kyungsoo felt a tingle in his throbbing heart. For reasons he couldn’t even fathom in that moment, Kyungsoo thought about the peanut butter and jelly sandwich from his childhood.
At a much later time, many months after that day when Kyungsoo and Chanyeol squished side by side in a single hammock, snuggling and giggling while sharing heart fluttering kisses underneath the stars, Chanyeol asked if Kyungsoo was happy, if he has found his happiness. Blinking slowly, Kyungsoo replied seriously.
“I used to think happiness means having peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for every meal,” the lanky boy’s eyes sparked with glee and with muted efforts, he pressed his lips tightly together as he tried really hard not to laugh at his boyfriend, “until I found out I am allergic to peanuts.”
Unable to hold back any longer, Chanyeol burst out laughing and hugged Kyungsoo closer. Inhaling the other’s musky scent that reminded Kyungsoo of warm camp fire and chestnut roasting over open fire, he chuckled softly against his boyfriend’s shaky chest that was heaving with boisterous laughter.
“What about you, Yeol? What do you think is happiness?”
Easing down from his euphoria, Chanyeol pulled their bodies apart a little and leaned their foreheads together. Peering into the pair of eyes that reminded him so much of the star filled summer skies, Chanyeol smiled brightly like the sun on a perfect summer afternoon.
“I think right now, this,” he gave a chaste peck against his boyfriend’s plump lips, “being with you, this is happiness.”
“I think so too,” Kyungsoo smiled back sincerely and slowly, he closed the gap between them again.
If you asked Park Chanyeol “what is happiness?” he would tell you that happiness is everywhere. He’d say happiness is hearing the birds chirp in the woods, feeling the sand in between your toes and happiness is the delicious icing on the cake. Eyes mirthful and voice merry, he’d say that happiness is holding hands with your loved ones, sharing a kiss with that special person where nobody can see, and waking up to your soulmate every morning. Chanyeol never thought he was short of happiness; but since that day, when he stumbled into the university coffee shop and fallen in love with a shy boy with wide eyes at first sight, he knew he had even more happiness.
Doh Kyungsoo always wondered about the meaning of happiness, especially since his only definition of happiness in the form of his favourite food was cruelly overturned by allergy. For many years he searched for the answer with no avail and unexpectedly, happiness hit him out of the blue when he met a lanky boy with the smile of a thousand suns.
Since then, Kyungsoo thought the meaning of happiness is finding flyers all across the university that said “My name is Park Chanyeol. I’ve met you in the coffee shop and you have eyes like the starry summer nights. I will be there waiting to see you again everyday between 4pm to 6pm. Please come. I’d like to hear your voice this time.” Kyungsoo thought happiness is seeing the usually happy young man fidgeting with a cup of ice Americano in his hands three days in a roll as he sat alone in the same seat as when they first met, waiting anxiously someone to show up. When he finally mustered enough courage to meet Chanyeol, Kyungsoo thought happiness is the ecstasy and relief reflected in the other’s eyes and smiles.
If you had asked an eight year old Doh Kyungsoo “what is happiness?’ he would have told you begrudgingly that happiness is definitely not a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Twelve years later, Kyungsoo would tell you that happiness is closer to you than you would think. Head bowing shyly as his cheeks blushed pink, he’d whisper that happiness is a hug from a warm stranger, a smile that lights up the room, and the smell of summer nights and toasty camp fire. Biting on his lower lip, he’d mumble that happiness is when you are told he loves you, when you tell him you love him too, and when you kiss and hear fireworks explode in your head. Kyungsoo had always questioned the meaning of happiness until he met Chanyeol, who was never short of happiness. Now, they are each other’s happiness.
FIN
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image credit goes to the amazing dumbandconfused, who draws amazing chansoo fanarts and always my fav!
Honesly though, this killed me much more than writing angst. I need some darkness in my life now... I hope you at least liked it!