(no subject)
i just need to write. it's been too long.
i haven't actually been at the computer properly for ages.. not like i'm additcted or anything and i 'need' to be at the computer. just that i'm used to having my own space, and being on my own, complaining about having no one here with me, but when the time arrives that i have someone here with me, i can't hack it. i don't know what's up with me, honestly. i'm so flipping fickle. amie must of stayed here for about 15 days out of 25 and if i'm honest, it's killing me. there's so much i can take you know? then there's mike coming round, probably abusing my good nature to some extent, but yeah i'm used to that.
i miss the companionship in a relationship. i miss having someone to talk to, about anything and everything. i miss having decent conversations, not stupid re-occuring ones. the fact that amie and myself have probably spoke about the same things for 15 days is really annoying.
oxfam actually keeps me going, sad as it may sound. but the fact that amie is there makes it hard to bare.. i love her to pieces, she's like a fucking sister. but hello? i need time to myself. i'm just too nice to say anything, that's the problem.
thing that's bugging me, is a guy that i had a year relationship with has just moved away totally unexpectedly. i suppose it's a shock. i'll miss him, which is weird because last entry i was complaining that he should get over himself, but you know he's not so bad. we stayed friends, and i was going to see him on saturday, but obviously that's a no go-er. he did dump me and made me feel completely unwanted, but hey.
no, wait. what the fuck is wrong with me?
hello @ pushover.
i was 'supposed' to be going out tomorrow night, that's a no no. i don't care really and why should i? pretend to enjoy myself, when really i'm hating every minute of it, joy. i want to see paul and tonia because they get it, they get me. i don't know what it is, but they just do. 31st of this month i'll get to see them, because it's james's birthday party. i love james too, mint.
another thing is babies. what's with everyone having kids? i counted up how many people i know that are having kids, or that have just had kids. and i counted 9/10. most my age, or younger. maybe 2007 is the year for having kids. maybe i should jump on the bangwagon? someone impregnate me? cheers.
this never comes out how i want it too. it's generally just a mish-match of words and sentences, oh well.
anyway, to; angela, jackson rob and vincent. i love you four quite alot, and i'm so very sorry that i have been neglecting you. you all amaze me, and i love you all. please don't hate me, i really couldn't bare it yeah. the hope that you're all going to be there when i need you, or i need a decent conversation keeps me going, thankyou.
i haven't actually been at the computer properly for ages.. not like i'm additcted or anything and i 'need' to be at the computer. just that i'm used to having my own space, and being on my own, complaining about having no one here with me, but when the time arrives that i have someone here with me, i can't hack it. i don't know what's up with me, honestly. i'm so flipping fickle. amie must of stayed here for about 15 days out of 25 and if i'm honest, it's killing me. there's so much i can take you know? then there's mike coming round, probably abusing my good nature to some extent, but yeah i'm used to that.
i miss the companionship in a relationship. i miss having someone to talk to, about anything and everything. i miss having decent conversations, not stupid re-occuring ones. the fact that amie and myself have probably spoke about the same things for 15 days is really annoying.
oxfam actually keeps me going, sad as it may sound. but the fact that amie is there makes it hard to bare.. i love her to pieces, she's like a fucking sister. but hello? i need time to myself. i'm just too nice to say anything, that's the problem.
thing that's bugging me, is a guy that i had a year relationship with has just moved away totally unexpectedly. i suppose it's a shock. i'll miss him, which is weird because last entry i was complaining that he should get over himself, but you know he's not so bad. we stayed friends, and i was going to see him on saturday, but obviously that's a no go-er. he did dump me and made me feel completely unwanted, but hey.
no, wait. what the fuck is wrong with me?
hello @ pushover.
i was 'supposed' to be going out tomorrow night, that's a no no. i don't care really and why should i? pretend to enjoy myself, when really i'm hating every minute of it, joy. i want to see paul and tonia because they get it, they get me. i don't know what it is, but they just do. 31st of this month i'll get to see them, because it's james's birthday party. i love james too, mint.
another thing is babies. what's with everyone having kids? i counted up how many people i know that are having kids, or that have just had kids. and i counted 9/10. most my age, or younger. maybe 2007 is the year for having kids. maybe i should jump on the bangwagon? someone impregnate me? cheers.
this never comes out how i want it too. it's generally just a mish-match of words and sentences, oh well.
anyway, to; angela, jackson rob and vincent. i love you four quite alot, and i'm so very sorry that i have been neglecting you. you all amaze me, and i love you all. please don't hate me, i really couldn't bare it yeah. the hope that you're all going to be there when i need you, or i need a decent conversation keeps me going, thankyou.