(no subject)
it's come to the point where i feel like i can't take feeling like this anymore, it's actually taking over my soul, or something.
i've been sleeping about 2-3 hours a night, at the most if i'm lucky. i feel like a complete zombie. and i doubt getting drunk, and getting high will resolve any of this. it's like a part of me has malfunctioned and it needs reparing, how? i have no idea. i did think at one point that getting totally annihilated would be the answer to all my problems and that i would indeed forget everything that was going on, when infact it made it ten times worse, yet i kept doing it. i did stop for quite sometime, now i've jumped back straight into it, like it's some routine. don't ask me why, because i honestly don't know. i just don't understand anything at the minute. my head hurts, i know that for sure. that pain honestly takes over me. feels like i'm thinking too much (less of the blonde jokes). i don't get it..
this is not probably how i wanted all this to come out or sound, but i can't explain anything. and when i try it just comes out, all jumbled up, and it's seriously like "wtf?".
i'm so tired right now, i might actually sleep.
i've been sleeping about 2-3 hours a night, at the most if i'm lucky. i feel like a complete zombie. and i doubt getting drunk, and getting high will resolve any of this. it's like a part of me has malfunctioned and it needs reparing, how? i have no idea. i did think at one point that getting totally annihilated would be the answer to all my problems and that i would indeed forget everything that was going on, when infact it made it ten times worse, yet i kept doing it. i did stop for quite sometime, now i've jumped back straight into it, like it's some routine. don't ask me why, because i honestly don't know. i just don't understand anything at the minute. my head hurts, i know that for sure. that pain honestly takes over me. feels like i'm thinking too much (less of the blonde jokes). i don't get it..
this is not probably how i wanted all this to come out or sound, but i can't explain anything. and when i try it just comes out, all jumbled up, and it's seriously like "wtf?".
i'm so tired right now, i might actually sleep.