angst
it's almost time to take the seashells back. i do this every so often. i take many of my seashells and return them to the ocean. it's a renewal thing for me. i think of things i'd like to discard about myself or my existence--and i throw the shells out into the sea as far as i can. the really cool thing is now that i went through the therapy & hypnotherapy i've come to terms with my oceanic panic; i can now get on a board & paddle out. That's where the ritual started--i'd take my old shells back to the ocean, paddle out past the break/swell line and just drop them. like i was dropping bad habits.
i don't know if it does any good--i always feel really peaceful during this time--and i feel better about myself and my little world after.
not to drone on about emotion--but i am feeling again--i'm actually having feelings and allowing them to run course.
i don't know if this means i can go forward. i hope i can. i've been trying very hard to just stay centered and be comfortable in my skin. i guess that's why the blonde hair had to go. it was not me.
i am feeling angstish and restless. i just want to escape whatever it is that feels so confining--but there isn't anything i can point to as being confining. i'm really very free. so my guess is it's just the residual panic--i get stressed and that little bit of panic manifests like this.
i'll deal.
today i am grateful for the lack of b.s. in my world. and i am grateful that i have many pages of the most difficult shit down and sent; i am grateful for my new oven that i made a scrumptious cherry pie in.
and i am grateful for my kids--who are really good people despite being teenagers.
i don't know if it does any good--i always feel really peaceful during this time--and i feel better about myself and my little world after.
not to drone on about emotion--but i am feeling again--i'm actually having feelings and allowing them to run course.
i don't know if this means i can go forward. i hope i can. i've been trying very hard to just stay centered and be comfortable in my skin. i guess that's why the blonde hair had to go. it was not me.
i am feeling angstish and restless. i just want to escape whatever it is that feels so confining--but there isn't anything i can point to as being confining. i'm really very free. so my guess is it's just the residual panic--i get stressed and that little bit of panic manifests like this.
i'll deal.
today i am grateful for the lack of b.s. in my world. and i am grateful that i have many pages of the most difficult shit down and sent; i am grateful for my new oven that i made a scrumptious cherry pie in.
and i am grateful for my kids--who are really good people despite being teenagers.