No Not negative
The summer is coming up on us fast and here I am again, wondering how it will play out. I was accepted to my first choice school, which I should have known would happen, (okay so that sounds a little cocky,) and I made a pact with God that I would apply to more then just the one, so I have to get one with it. Private school seems scary, at first it was the cost, thought with luck I'll get the funds, the change of environment makes me a little apprehensive, and the thought of living with my family for the summer makes me want to kinda die a little, althought last summer was pretty cool. But I spent a bunch of it on friend's couches, Sleeping in my car, and sleeping in public, (which I must say is fantastically refreshing,) but Jeromy takes in strays, so maybe I'll live with him, if he'll have me. Either way I've got to commit to the fact that I'll be moving, only the truth is that I wish these last few months would last forever. This last thought brings this tour to the, (maybe shallow,) fear of losing Ms. Songbird. A summer apart is never easy, even if it's punctuated with visits to far off and exciting horse parks. And stealing moments, or really seconds away from the three parents and her job. The three months of not really getting to communicate is rough, late night calls where one or both of us are too tired to really be there.
I'd be lying if I said it was easy, but I'd be someone else if I did anything but give it all that I have.
On to the commitment part of this little tour-thru-your-local-madman, I have finally started to chip away at the part of me that pushes people away, I made my appologies to friends and have done my best to start to be a "good friend" again, althought I have to say that I can almost never remember to call people back, and most of the time I wait for a call when It's my turn to call. This being said, if you haven't heard from me, I'm propaply waiting for you to call. To all of the people that have suffered through my late night calling madness, I blame Concerta, the ADD-crack that keeps me from sleeping, and I don't want you all to think that I don't care about you during regular business hours. I just get crazy and feel the unusual urge to call you all at midnight (Amy, Jeromy, P.J.,Rachel this one is for you) just to say, hi. Yeah, life gets boring when all of you normal people go to bed and I have nothing to do... So you guys should stop sleeping...
I'd be lying if I said it was easy, but I'd be someone else if I did anything but give it all that I have.
On to the commitment part of this little tour-thru-your-local-madman, I have finally started to chip away at the part of me that pushes people away, I made my appologies to friends and have done my best to start to be a "good friend" again, althought I have to say that I can almost never remember to call people back, and most of the time I wait for a call when It's my turn to call. This being said, if you haven't heard from me, I'm propaply waiting for you to call. To all of the people that have suffered through my late night calling madness, I blame Concerta, the ADD-crack that keeps me from sleeping, and I don't want you all to think that I don't care about you during regular business hours. I just get crazy and feel the unusual urge to call you all at midnight (Amy, Jeromy, P.J.,Rachel this one is for you) just to say, hi. Yeah, life gets boring when all of you normal people go to bed and I have nothing to do... So you guys should stop sleeping...