An Open Letter
To: All Those in Charge of Conflict in the Middle East
CC: my friend Sally
Re: Christmas Baking
Dear Sirs/Madams:
I am thrilled to tell you your troubles are at an end. I have found a way to put to rest all conflict in the Middle East. And it is a solution as simple as it is elegant.
My friend Sally will produce for you a large tin of baking. The top layer of this tin will contain gingerbread and shortbread, which are delicious to be sure, but the real treasure (as is so often the case) lies beneath. Underneath the delicately folded wax paper, you will find the most delicious substance you have ever tasted.
Although the temptation will be to eat it all yourself, please make sure that All Those in Charge of Conflict in the Middle East get to eat at least one piece. Sally will make sure there is enough to go around.
Now, here is the clever and conflict-ending part. If you agree to stop all war, terrorism, and other carryings-on, my friend Sally will continue to supply you with Christmas baking every year. The cost will be covered by the rest of the world's governments, who frankly would like to get back to focussing on something other than who's killing who over there. Should conflict and carryings-on start to rise at any point, the Christmas baking shall cease and desist. I expect you will find the absence of Christmas baking devastating enough to rein in any urge towards skirmishes.
I trust you will find this solution effective and beneficial to all. I am currently searching for just the right tin in which to send your baking.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely yours,
Catalyst75
CC: my friend Sally
Re: Christmas Baking
Dear Sirs/Madams:
I am thrilled to tell you your troubles are at an end. I have found a way to put to rest all conflict in the Middle East. And it is a solution as simple as it is elegant.
My friend Sally will produce for you a large tin of baking. The top layer of this tin will contain gingerbread and shortbread, which are delicious to be sure, but the real treasure (as is so often the case) lies beneath. Underneath the delicately folded wax paper, you will find the most delicious substance you have ever tasted.
Although the temptation will be to eat it all yourself, please make sure that All Those in Charge of Conflict in the Middle East get to eat at least one piece. Sally will make sure there is enough to go around.
Now, here is the clever and conflict-ending part. If you agree to stop all war, terrorism, and other carryings-on, my friend Sally will continue to supply you with Christmas baking every year. The cost will be covered by the rest of the world's governments, who frankly would like to get back to focussing on something other than who's killing who over there. Should conflict and carryings-on start to rise at any point, the Christmas baking shall cease and desist. I expect you will find the absence of Christmas baking devastating enough to rein in any urge towards skirmishes.
I trust you will find this solution effective and beneficial to all. I am currently searching for just the right tin in which to send your baking.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely yours,
Catalyst75