(no subject)
Here I sit, finishing my Mike's Hard Lemonade, and ready to pass out. Not from the alcohol cause it was only one, but from being completely wiped out from taking care of the girls. I have been blessed NOT to be waken up at 7:30 every morning. But 8:30 is still early enough for me! Last night I couldn't fall asleep. Then when I finally did I heard Mia starting to stir and sounded like she was about to cry. So I got up and went in to check on her. She was fine of course and then I was wide awake again. Once I finally DID fall asleep I had this dream that the girls were taken in the middle of the night. Of course I woke up in fright, heard the floor boards making noises, and was scared outta my wits and had to go check on them again. By this time it was 4:30 am and I had yet to really get some sleep. So now, I decided to have a drink before I went to bed so hopefully it'll help me put all the stupid house sounds outta my mind so I won't wake up in fright again. I must admit.... I'm 22 years old but when I am the caregiver of my two nieces and left in a house by myself, my mind tends to wander and I start to think of the worst possible scenario! Not the best of things! Hopefully I don't do that again tonight. I wouldn't say that I'm scared to be alone in the dark or anything, but even when my parents leave for a long time and I have the house to myself, if I stay up too late then my mind tends to hear every little noise and kinda puts me on edge. In the dorms it's not a problem cause I know that I could make enough noise that if someone DID try and break in or something I would be able to make enough noise for someone to hear or what not. Does any of this make sense? In a house it's just me... the girls in this case too..... and a big house. Eh, I guess I'm just a whimp or something. Now I'm babbling and words are starting to blur. So it's my cue to head to bed! Sweet dreams everyone!