LATE I'M SORRY BUT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT here this is just all random feelingsvomit basically and it's longer to make up for the late (???).
after the conversation by the fire during the nubbins debacle, will went back to his room and got himself off not quite thinking about helen magnus, but letting thoughts of her and how her eyes had dilated when she looked at him skirt at the edges of his consciousness. this is how will had to approach that attraction for a long time. helen was more honest with herself about her attraction to will from the beginning, but as time went by and especially after ashley, she began to realize that it wasn't a simple attraction or a mindless, occasional flirtation anymore and she recanted everything she'd admitted to herself. that's when it started to feel dangerous and maybe a little like a liability and she had to try to draw a line down the middle of their relationship. but even so, in the immediate aftermath of ashley's death and a few times since, helen has had moments where she wanted will closer to her so badly that she ached, that she had to excuse herself from whatever had her attention to go lie down. sometimes they catch the other's eye and the gaze lingers and there's something there and they both know it, but they always look away at the same time, as if they'd made the mutual decision not to go any farther. they've never actually talked about it out loud. sometimes they both think that they could meet in the dark of the library some midnight and fuck until dawn and they'd still never talk about it out loud because she's magnus and he's will and that would ruin so much. helen is still trying to decide if it's an inevitable thing, or if she should continue to try not to mess this one up. they both think maybe it'll go away someday but they also both already know that it won't.
Late but worth it! Oh please please write angsty sex in the library! PLEASE!?? I love angsty Helen/Will 'we want eachother so badly but we can't be together because things are complicated' fic. (hahaha that's what I wrote myself - did you ever read 'The Broken Pane'? It is totally over the top angst and pr0n! You are SO good at it!
after the conversation by the fire during the nubbins debacle, will went back to his room and got himself off not quite thinking about helen magnus, but letting thoughts of her and how her eyes had dilated when she looked at him skirt at the edges of his consciousness. this is how will had to approach that attraction for a long time. helen was more honest with herself about her attraction to will from the beginning, but as time went by and especially after ashley, she began to realize that it wasn't a simple attraction or a mindless, occasional flirtation anymore and she recanted everything she'd admitted to herself. that's when it started to feel dangerous and maybe a little like a liability and she had to try to draw a line down the middle of their relationship. but even so, in the immediate aftermath of ashley's death and a few times since, helen has had moments where she wanted will closer to her so badly that she ached, that she had to excuse herself from whatever had her attention to go lie down. sometimes they catch the other's eye and the gaze lingers and there's something there and they both know it, but they always look away at the same time, as if they'd made the mutual decision not to go any farther. they've never actually talked about it out loud. sometimes they both think that they could meet in the dark of the library some midnight and fuck until dawn and they'd still never talk about it out loud because she's magnus and he's will and that would ruin so much. helen is still trying to decide if it's an inevitable thing, or if she should continue to try not to mess this one up. they both think maybe it'll go away someday but they also both already know that it won't.
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Lovely. Smoochings.
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