On wild parties, going with the flow, and my brand of feminism
I haven't been able to blog lately (at least not properly) due to lack of time. And whenever I was writing, it was either for a paper or a newspaper article. I still have assignments waiting to be drummed out, but for the mean time I shall indulge myself. Here's what's happened/crossed my mind lately:
A friend of mine was telling me about how she'd be seeing her crush more often due to some fortunate circumstances, and that he seemed to be single again (at least according to Facebook).
Me: Ooh, really? Good for you, then. Really good!
Friend (feeling obligated to mourn her crush's break up): Uy, hindi ano ba.
Me (with my low tolerance for bullshit): Pwede ba? Let us not be fake and be "sad" about this, okay? Tigilan mo ako.
***
For some reason I'd been feeling repressed for the past few months, which is why I insisted on attending the UP Swim Team's party, SINsation at Club Phi, Metrowalk. One word: WILD. I ended up in the care of a (fortunately) good stranger (Disclaimer: He wasn't that random, okay. He was friends with my good friends, whom we were also with). At the end of the night we were all too drunk to take care of ourselves, so poor Migs ended up being our designated driver. In a way he also deserved it because he was the one who came to "see the alcohol" and kept pushing drinks on us.
I slept over at Kor's house and woke up with a bad hang over. But it was FUN! We kept laughing about it the next day. I so want to do that again, but not anytime soon. And for the time being, I no longer feel repressed :p
As a souvenir, let me leave you with this non-wild photo that was taken right before we entered the club:
That's Kor, me and Migs
Lovely photo was taken by Sean Tiu
***
A friend of mine was recently trying to analyze herself and what caused something to not work out in her life. She came up with the realization that she always expects to be disappointed, so that if and when the blow comes, she won't have to fall from too high a place.
While listening to her I realized that, hey, I'm like that too! I guess it's something that's hard to avoid. On my part, consecutive disappointments tend to make me a bit paranoid. Like when things are going unexpectedly and far too well, my mind races with thoughts like, "Okay, where is the glitch? Come on, it has to happen soon. What is going to go wrong this time? And when is it going to happen? I had best be prepared for it."
Needless to say, it isn't a good thing, especially since the way we think in the present highly influences future outcomes. I end up being too prepared for the worst that I actually get, well, the worst. Life does give you what you seek, I guess. And as Cel put it, "Anticipation kills everything."
I've also realized something lately. The things I want fall into my plate as soon as I give up overly-anticipating/expecting and choose to just go with the flow, be content with the present and continue to do my own thing. I don't know much about working with the powers of the universe, but it really does work. As soon as I give up tormenting myself and just let everything be, candy suddenly falls out of the sky (not literally, of course). As in, whoa! Amazing.
Not to mention it's a much better mental and emotional state to be in. You're happier and more at peace. And no, it is not called settling. Being content doesn't mean that you don't have goals and aspirations for the future. It simply means that you love the present for what it is. It means making the most out of the time that is in your hands right at this very moment, instead of fretting about the future, which simply put, doesn't exist. All you really have at any given moment is the now. And that's what you should love, focus and build on.
***For our Soc Sci 3 (Gender and Sexuality) class, our final project was to create a T-shirt with a gender/sexuality advocacy that was close to our hearts. My favorite statement so far was something my gay classmate came up with: "LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT. I'M NOT." To which I was like, "Damn, that's hot!"
Anyway, mine wasn't that interesting, but I shall share it with you anyway:
Our professor said that there was such a thing as "benevolent sexism," meaning helping a person not based on need but on their sex; more simply put, holding the door open for a person just because she's a woman. Euphemisms for this are chivalry and being a gentleman. He said that while women enjoy these little victories, they actually reproduce the inequality and oppressive patriarchal system that is currently in place.
My personal take on that was that as a liberal feminist, I didn't believe in revolution, but in gradual change. And since gradual change isn't something that can happen in a finger snap, I see no point in being overly suspicious and defensive about every single manifestation of this inequality. I would rather spend my precious time celebrating who I am and making the most out of the current situation. And yes, that includes enjoying the little perks of patriarchy while they still exist. That doesn't make you weak or mean that you couldn't have done it without the guy's help. All it means is that you appreciate the extra convenience. It could also mean that you know how to be slightly manipulative at times :p
And as far as "reproducing the current system" goes, it is something that will occur again and again within the course of gradual change. Besides, gradual change was never about putting a stop to this reproduction. Rather, it's about slowly, subconsciously altering the reproduction itself. Again, not something you can achieve in 24 hours.
So screw it and just enjoy being a woman, damn it!
Catherine
A friend of mine was telling me about how she'd be seeing her crush more often due to some fortunate circumstances, and that he seemed to be single again (at least according to Facebook).
Me: Ooh, really? Good for you, then. Really good!
Friend (feeling obligated to mourn her crush's break up): Uy, hindi ano ba.
Me (with my low tolerance for bullshit): Pwede ba? Let us not be fake and be "sad" about this, okay? Tigilan mo ako.
***
For some reason I'd been feeling repressed for the past few months, which is why I insisted on attending the UP Swim Team's party, SINsation at Club Phi, Metrowalk. One word: WILD. I ended up in the care of a (fortunately) good stranger (Disclaimer: He wasn't that random, okay. He was friends with my good friends, whom we were also with). At the end of the night we were all too drunk to take care of ourselves, so poor Migs ended up being our designated driver. In a way he also deserved it because he was the one who came to "see the alcohol" and kept pushing drinks on us.
I slept over at Kor's house and woke up with a bad hang over. But it was FUN! We kept laughing about it the next day. I so want to do that again, but not anytime soon. And for the time being, I no longer feel repressed :p
As a souvenir, let me leave you with this non-wild photo that was taken right before we entered the club:
That's Kor, me and Migs
Lovely photo was taken by Sean Tiu
***
A friend of mine was recently trying to analyze herself and what caused something to not work out in her life. She came up with the realization that she always expects to be disappointed, so that if and when the blow comes, she won't have to fall from too high a place.
While listening to her I realized that, hey, I'm like that too! I guess it's something that's hard to avoid. On my part, consecutive disappointments tend to make me a bit paranoid. Like when things are going unexpectedly and far too well, my mind races with thoughts like, "Okay, where is the glitch? Come on, it has to happen soon. What is going to go wrong this time? And when is it going to happen? I had best be prepared for it."
Needless to say, it isn't a good thing, especially since the way we think in the present highly influences future outcomes. I end up being too prepared for the worst that I actually get, well, the worst. Life does give you what you seek, I guess. And as Cel put it, "Anticipation kills everything."
I've also realized something lately. The things I want fall into my plate as soon as I give up overly-anticipating/expecting and choose to just go with the flow, be content with the present and continue to do my own thing. I don't know much about working with the powers of the universe, but it really does work. As soon as I give up tormenting myself and just let everything be, candy suddenly falls out of the sky (not literally, of course). As in, whoa! Amazing.
Not to mention it's a much better mental and emotional state to be in. You're happier and more at peace. And no, it is not called settling. Being content doesn't mean that you don't have goals and aspirations for the future. It simply means that you love the present for what it is. It means making the most out of the time that is in your hands right at this very moment, instead of fretting about the future, which simply put, doesn't exist. All you really have at any given moment is the now. And that's what you should love, focus and build on.
***For our Soc Sci 3 (Gender and Sexuality) class, our final project was to create a T-shirt with a gender/sexuality advocacy that was close to our hearts. My favorite statement so far was something my gay classmate came up with: "LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT. I'M NOT." To which I was like, "Damn, that's hot!"
Anyway, mine wasn't that interesting, but I shall share it with you anyway:
Our professor said that there was such a thing as "benevolent sexism," meaning helping a person not based on need but on their sex; more simply put, holding the door open for a person just because she's a woman. Euphemisms for this are chivalry and being a gentleman. He said that while women enjoy these little victories, they actually reproduce the inequality and oppressive patriarchal system that is currently in place.
My personal take on that was that as a liberal feminist, I didn't believe in revolution, but in gradual change. And since gradual change isn't something that can happen in a finger snap, I see no point in being overly suspicious and defensive about every single manifestation of this inequality. I would rather spend my precious time celebrating who I am and making the most out of the current situation. And yes, that includes enjoying the little perks of patriarchy while they still exist. That doesn't make you weak or mean that you couldn't have done it without the guy's help. All it means is that you appreciate the extra convenience. It could also mean that you know how to be slightly manipulative at times :p
And as far as "reproducing the current system" goes, it is something that will occur again and again within the course of gradual change. Besides, gradual change was never about putting a stop to this reproduction. Rather, it's about slowly, subconsciously altering the reproduction itself. Again, not something you can achieve in 24 hours.
So screw it and just enjoy being a woman, damn it!
Catherine