10pm
I can't get myself to start writing the testimony I'm suppose to bring to the state legislature tomorrow. Funny, I don't even know where to start. The thought is overwhelming me so much that I do want to go to bed and sleep the rest of the week away.
I've never felt this paralyzed about my work since college.
On other news, I talked to my sister this week. Apparently my mom's having trouble with her tenants. This is her first time she's ever had tenants and they're already rude and been disrespectful of her space. It's one of those rare moments when I think "if I was there, I could help her." Then I trap myself in a cycle of feeling guilty of my decision to be independent of my family, realizing that I'm helpless to them.
And I'm listening more to Blonde Redhead; I haven't heard them since 2006. It brought me back to the Bowery Ballroom where Blonde Redhead and Black Keys opened up for Sleater Kinney February 11, 2003. It wasn't full of wonder, magic, or pain as much as I remembered it. It simply fills up the room as background music. I'm not sure if that idea makes me happy or sad.
I have trouble expressing myself when I'm upset.
I do feel like crying and I don't remember when the last time I've felt this sad.
I've never felt this paralyzed about my work since college.
On other news, I talked to my sister this week. Apparently my mom's having trouble with her tenants. This is her first time she's ever had tenants and they're already rude and been disrespectful of her space. It's one of those rare moments when I think "if I was there, I could help her." Then I trap myself in a cycle of feeling guilty of my decision to be independent of my family, realizing that I'm helpless to them.
And I'm listening more to Blonde Redhead; I haven't heard them since 2006. It brought me back to the Bowery Ballroom where Blonde Redhead and Black Keys opened up for Sleater Kinney February 11, 2003. It wasn't full of wonder, magic, or pain as much as I remembered it. It simply fills up the room as background music. I'm not sure if that idea makes me happy or sad.
I have trouble expressing myself when I'm upset.
I do feel like crying and I don't remember when the last time I've felt this sad.