First off- she just needs some solitude w/o people. She knows that things are very rocky between you two, but you not letting her have "her space" (the bedroom) for a little while w/o you in it is now wearing on her immensely.
I don't get the vibe she is planning to run off to Eric. I get the vibe that the little girl inside of her wants her own place to breakdown and grieve alone. Since Grandad died she hasn't had that time and space, she was pushed in one direction, and pulled in another. These decisions she is making for school are purely selfish, b/c she wants to better her future.
She's attacking you physically and verbally w/ little snide comments. She's overwhelmed and once you are gone, don't call her except to say that you made it home safely. But do call as soon as you get home, she will worry. Give her a few days to truly absorb what has happened to her life she had planned. She did plan to marry you, but obviously grief does strange things to our brains, and she needs time away from you.
I know she is planning on coming here after you leave Friday and staying the night. Maybe she'll stay two nights, maybe not. I am not going to persuade her to see Eric, even though he is just a half hour away. I did not get the vibe from him that he is hot for Mary. I think at this point he is truly just trying to be a friend= like Cubby-Dan and Andrew are.
If it's meant to be- it will find a way. Just remember, sometimes, it's not meant to be right now.
Youre being very helpful... especially lately, while things are at their most stressful. It's almost sad that there's nothing going on with you that I can help with.
aw shucks....:P Things are good w/ me as long as those around me are good. I've seen what not going through the "proper" grieving stages does to a person and she's not there. It's going to hit her hard, and she can blame anything and everything on you- b/c she feels that you are "the problem". You're the newbie, and us gals attack the newest one before we attack old friends and family. It's a test in a way to see just how much shit you will take before you (guys) give up on us (gals).
Frankly- I just don't want to be the one she's with when it hits her hard.
Understoodcat_o_9tailsFebruary 21 2005, 07:33:37 UTC
Its not the I can't handle her blaming me for everything, but its the thought of her deciding not to bother trying to stay together, because she sees everything as my fault.
I meant what I said before. I am not only capable but accepting of burdens, but this one is like carrying a bomb, it may go off, it may not, but it makes me nervous.
I don't get the vibe she is planning to run off to Eric. I get the vibe that the little girl inside of her wants her own place to breakdown and grieve alone. Since Grandad died she hasn't had that time and space, she was pushed in one direction, and pulled in another. These decisions she is making for school are purely selfish, b/c she wants to better her future.
She's attacking you physically and verbally w/ little snide comments. She's overwhelmed and once you are gone, don't call her except to say that you made it home safely. But do call as soon as you get home, she will worry. Give her a few days to truly absorb what has happened to her life she had planned. She did plan to marry you, but obviously grief does strange things to our brains, and she needs time away from you.
I know she is planning on coming here after you leave Friday and staying the night. Maybe she'll stay two nights, maybe not. I am not going to persuade her to see Eric, even though he is just a half hour away. I did not get the vibe from him that he is hot for Mary. I think at this point he is truly just trying to be a friend= like Cubby-Dan and Andrew are.
If it's meant to be- it will find a way. Just remember, sometimes, it's not meant to be right now.
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Frankly- I just don't want to be the one she's with when it hits her hard.
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I meant what I said before. I am not only capable but accepting of burdens, but this one is like carrying a bomb, it may go off, it may not, but it makes me nervous.
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