Oh hey look, my dreams came true.
I found the most excellent thing the other day...
I was thinking about mad cow and zombies, and for some reason, I started to wonder if anyone made a movie somewhat resembling that situation, as it was relatively recent.
This inspired a google search for "mad cow zombies" and this search turned out this:
www.cracked.com/article_15643_p3.html
What this article basically explains is that there are 5 scientific reasons a zombie apocalypse could actually happen, and in one case, basically almost did.
I don't like when I'm upset and someone says "is it really the end of the world?"
I have two reasons for disliking this.
1. No. It usually isn't, but really, do you just forget all your problems when terrible things happen because there's like one good thing going on in your life? "Oh, well...I just lost my house, wife and children in a fire...but I guess it's not all bad. I collect their life insurance!" Guess what, mister glass half full. That makes you seem like an asshole. And nobody wants to hear your obnoxiously optimistic bullshit. Also, dick, if the only positive thing going on in someone's life is that the world isn't ending, I don't think they're going to have the response you're looking for. Which I suppose, ideally for you would be for the aforementioned party to get up, say "you're right! the world isn't ending" and skip merrily away. Shut your face, everyone hates you.
2. In my ideal situation, if the world had to end, I desperately want it to be in a zombie apocalypse. Now that I know this is possible, I can say "No. And would that be such a terrible thing? I don't think so. If was shooting zombies right now, I'd be totally content."
Ok, so now that you have a completely unnessecary taste of my weird train of thought, I will tell you about these intriguing possibilities:
1) Brain Parasites: The article claims that, specifically, a parasite called "toxoplasmosa gondii" infects rats but breed inside a cats intestines. It was probably pretty easy to guess, but the cat needs to eat the rat, so the parasite just completely reprograms the rat's brain to go chill near the cats. Apparently this particular parasite is currently inside one of two people. The article jokes "flip a coin." This will not give you accurate results, but try it, I guess? Anyone who has this parasite may experience a change in personality...or just go completely nuts.
2) Neurotoxins: Your bodily functions can be slowed down enough, from some poisons, that you are considered legally dead. The poison from certain blowfish can do this. Victems can be brought back by other drugs, but they will hardly have any brain function and will only be able to sleep, eat, or walk. I have been told that in Japan, blowfish is so popular because the poisons make you feel high. Which is probably why the word zombie, according to the article, comes from this actual story. Also, there was this dude who died and they found him wandering around 18 years later because voodoo priests had been using a bunch of drugs to put all these people to work on sugar plantations. They aren't violent zombies, so this isn't ideal unless someone mutates the poisons. Hintttt.
3) Mad Cow : Good call, self. By the way, this is apparantly the basis of the plot for 28 days later. Cruetzfeldt-Jakobs Disease, when it occurs in humans, literally turns you into a zombie, minus that you would need to eat human flash or that you would transfer the disease to others through your bite...but the article, once again getting all my hopes up, says all the virus needs to do is mutate. Crossing my fingers. It's one more reason to become a vegetarian though.
4&5) Neurogenesis & Nanobots.: Basically, what these last two imply is that science will kill us very very soon and there's nothing we can do about it. I'm ok with this. Better than locusts.
Anyway, I know that was really long, but I guess you know what not to do if zombies start showing up. No beef, blowfish, stem cells, pet cats/rats, or...I guess mysterious brain surgery.
If anyone's down for teaching me to use a shotgun, I'll be on the roof of the mall when these events unfold. See you there.
I was thinking about mad cow and zombies, and for some reason, I started to wonder if anyone made a movie somewhat resembling that situation, as it was relatively recent.
This inspired a google search for "mad cow zombies" and this search turned out this:
www.cracked.com/article_15643_p3.html
What this article basically explains is that there are 5 scientific reasons a zombie apocalypse could actually happen, and in one case, basically almost did.
I don't like when I'm upset and someone says "is it really the end of the world?"
I have two reasons for disliking this.
1. No. It usually isn't, but really, do you just forget all your problems when terrible things happen because there's like one good thing going on in your life? "Oh, well...I just lost my house, wife and children in a fire...but I guess it's not all bad. I collect their life insurance!" Guess what, mister glass half full. That makes you seem like an asshole. And nobody wants to hear your obnoxiously optimistic bullshit. Also, dick, if the only positive thing going on in someone's life is that the world isn't ending, I don't think they're going to have the response you're looking for. Which I suppose, ideally for you would be for the aforementioned party to get up, say "you're right! the world isn't ending" and skip merrily away. Shut your face, everyone hates you.
2. In my ideal situation, if the world had to end, I desperately want it to be in a zombie apocalypse. Now that I know this is possible, I can say "No. And would that be such a terrible thing? I don't think so. If was shooting zombies right now, I'd be totally content."
Ok, so now that you have a completely unnessecary taste of my weird train of thought, I will tell you about these intriguing possibilities:
1) Brain Parasites: The article claims that, specifically, a parasite called "toxoplasmosa gondii" infects rats but breed inside a cats intestines. It was probably pretty easy to guess, but the cat needs to eat the rat, so the parasite just completely reprograms the rat's brain to go chill near the cats. Apparently this particular parasite is currently inside one of two people. The article jokes "flip a coin." This will not give you accurate results, but try it, I guess? Anyone who has this parasite may experience a change in personality...or just go completely nuts.
2) Neurotoxins: Your bodily functions can be slowed down enough, from some poisons, that you are considered legally dead. The poison from certain blowfish can do this. Victems can be brought back by other drugs, but they will hardly have any brain function and will only be able to sleep, eat, or walk. I have been told that in Japan, blowfish is so popular because the poisons make you feel high. Which is probably why the word zombie, according to the article, comes from this actual story. Also, there was this dude who died and they found him wandering around 18 years later because voodoo priests had been using a bunch of drugs to put all these people to work on sugar plantations. They aren't violent zombies, so this isn't ideal unless someone mutates the poisons. Hintttt.
3) Mad Cow : Good call, self. By the way, this is apparantly the basis of the plot for 28 days later. Cruetzfeldt-Jakobs Disease, when it occurs in humans, literally turns you into a zombie, minus that you would need to eat human flash or that you would transfer the disease to others through your bite...but the article, once again getting all my hopes up, says all the virus needs to do is mutate. Crossing my fingers. It's one more reason to become a vegetarian though.
4&5) Neurogenesis & Nanobots.: Basically, what these last two imply is that science will kill us very very soon and there's nothing we can do about it. I'm ok with this. Better than locusts.
Anyway, I know that was really long, but I guess you know what not to do if zombies start showing up. No beef, blowfish, stem cells, pet cats/rats, or...I guess mysterious brain surgery.
If anyone's down for teaching me to use a shotgun, I'll be on the roof of the mall when these events unfold. See you there.