Radical change, personal, non-fannish stuff
I understand that there needs to be balance in an adult life, that sometimes we must do things we'd rather not, in order to support ourselves and our families.
But...
I've spent too much time in my life ignoring all of the Divine Spirits that have tried to guide my path in the directions that were right for me.
I spent too much time listening to the voices, some mean, some well-intentioned, that said you shouldn't, you mustn't, you're too ___, you don't have enough ___.
I took professional writing and graphic design in college instead of creative writing and fine art, because it was the sensible thing to do.
I left work that nourished me because the money wasn't good enough, to go someplace I knew I'd hate for slightly more money and benefits.
I refused to sing, dance, tell stories and make art because there was no time, only bills to pay.
Today is the day of my emancipation.
Odd-Job Girl I am, and Odd-Job Girl I will always be.
And that is very, very ok.
I lasted in my insurance job for seven and a half months. I don't know why I found it to be so oppressive and awful, but it was. I can't begin to describe what a bad fit it was.
Now, I have nothing against fat men, I like extra meat on the bone, but the invisible one that's been dancing on my chest for the last few weeks has really been getting in the way of my breathing. Having panic attacks at work, and not being able to control my emotions in a professional setting is not something I've ever had to deal with until this job.
As soon as I sent the farewell email, the invisible fat man went off to dance someplace else.
I realized that as Odd-Job Girl, I was working 70 hour weeks and still struggling with finances, and as Insurance Girl, I was...working 70 hour weeks and still struggling with finances.
I'm loading up on per diem work at Old Faithful, the North Shore ARC, and exploring possibilities.
One of which is a volunteer internship for the summer in New Orleans, but I would need a flexible side job to send cash back to the household. I'm sifting through Craigslist NOLA and such, and if anyone has any leads, let me know. Anything is possible right now.
Yes, I'm afraid, but I will walk, with shaky steps, where Divine Spirit guides me, until I'm able to dance.
But...
I've spent too much time in my life ignoring all of the Divine Spirits that have tried to guide my path in the directions that were right for me.
I spent too much time listening to the voices, some mean, some well-intentioned, that said you shouldn't, you mustn't, you're too ___, you don't have enough ___.
I took professional writing and graphic design in college instead of creative writing and fine art, because it was the sensible thing to do.
I left work that nourished me because the money wasn't good enough, to go someplace I knew I'd hate for slightly more money and benefits.
I refused to sing, dance, tell stories and make art because there was no time, only bills to pay.
Today is the day of my emancipation.
Odd-Job Girl I am, and Odd-Job Girl I will always be.
And that is very, very ok.
I lasted in my insurance job for seven and a half months. I don't know why I found it to be so oppressive and awful, but it was. I can't begin to describe what a bad fit it was.
Now, I have nothing against fat men, I like extra meat on the bone, but the invisible one that's been dancing on my chest for the last few weeks has really been getting in the way of my breathing. Having panic attacks at work, and not being able to control my emotions in a professional setting is not something I've ever had to deal with until this job.
As soon as I sent the farewell email, the invisible fat man went off to dance someplace else.
I realized that as Odd-Job Girl, I was working 70 hour weeks and still struggling with finances, and as Insurance Girl, I was...working 70 hour weeks and still struggling with finances.
I'm loading up on per diem work at Old Faithful, the North Shore ARC, and exploring possibilities.
One of which is a volunteer internship for the summer in New Orleans, but I would need a flexible side job to send cash back to the household. I'm sifting through Craigslist NOLA and such, and if anyone has any leads, let me know. Anything is possible right now.
Yes, I'm afraid, but I will walk, with shaky steps, where Divine Spirit guides me, until I'm able to dance.