Alone Again
Justin was home for nearly three weeks. There just wasn't the work back in Florida, we were waiting to hear more about Dave, and we just got pretty comfortable! One-income financial hell set in a few days ago, and off he went this morning. We were a bit stressed about customs, he got through just fine.
He kept me busy while he was home. We kept eachother busy. The time apart was really good for us, and he managed to fit into my new routines (we managed to fit into each others) pretty well. He came with me to a couple of parties, we did some socializing with lots of friends and some family, and it was for the most part, wonderful. Some of the things I was worried about happened - I excercised less, ate more and less healthy, the house was less tidy. But it was worth it, and I finally felt safe enough to really let go of the things inside me and start to work through them.
The first night he was home, the Bigs took us out to dinner at our favourite restaurant, Allen's on the Danforth. We met Andrea, our top make-up artist and her husband Dave, and our finance guy here at the studio, also Dave, and his wife. The eight of us were loud and stayed late, ordering scotch after scotch from the list as long as my leg. We had bison steak and scallops and all kinds of amazing stuff and laughed a lot. We got home very late, and stayed up watching movies and drinking more wine. When we were finally in bed falling asleep together, the weight of the weeks prior just hit me all at once, and I burst into tears, finally able to be comforted and finally able to just be in the shit because I knew someone was there to help me stop weeping eventually. We talked about all the things that were going on - and there was a lot - and from then on, I started to feel better.
I didn't write this before because I wasn't allowed to, and now it's moot. Justin lost his job at St. Georges. And then got it back again. It's all very complicated, but to make a long story somewhat short, Justin and the other pros are not employed by St. Georges, they are employed by the Head Pro. Which was Cameron. Cameron had a budget, and with that budget, could hire who he wanted and spend what he wanted and it didn't matter as long as he stayed under the final amount, and the course ran perfectly. No small task, but that is why Head Pros make unconscionable amounts of money. In any case, Cameron failed at this miserably, and ran the course at a major loss, going far over budget under the vague assumption that "if he did a good enough job, the board of directors wouldn't care about the hundred grand he was over target".
Obviously this wasn't the case. He went over without permission my an incredible amount, then tried to hide it, then tried to excuse it. And then he got fired. Which meant Justin and all the other pros were fired, too. A new pro would be hired, and whether or not he would retain any old St. Georges staff would be completely their perogative. Often, new Head Pros bring their own apprentices. St. G's is the number one course in Canada - any asisstant professional would jump at the chance to follow their Pro there. Justin was going to have to finish up in Florida, come home in March, and find a new job. Which was not going to be easy.
Colin was the asisstant professional at St G's, under Cameron. He got fired too, essentially, but on a long-shot (he is underexperienced and young) approached the board and asked for one year to try to turn the course around financially, and to fix the problems with Cameron's management. No one thought it would happen, but it did, and we all think it was a fabulous decision. Colin announced at a Christmas party for last year's professional staff that he was giving everyone their jobs back. Colin and Justin and I and all the important people in our lives that work at St. Gs are very close to Colin - the boys sit in my living room and dish about work non-stop and I know they have the highest regard for his work ethic and ability to run the team. He's pruning young and inexperienced free-loading part timers, and giving the hard-working, experienced, mature staff better salaries and more perks - hoping that 5 happy full timers will be able to do the work of 3 underpaid full timers, cranky from picking up the slack of others, and 5 lazy and also underpaid high schoolers, looking for any way they can to cut corners.
But this had all yet to take place, and that night, I felt like we had completely lost control of our lives. But he's got his job back, and under a better boss. So that has been fixed.
We had dinner last night with Dad, Dave and Laura. The place Dave picked ended up looking a bit shit, so he insisted we go to a different Italian place across St. Clair, which was great. Laura is so lovely, in a Burberry scarf and pearl earrings - but with a loud voice and very clever. She is wonderful and surprising. I gave Dave an extra long hug and didn't mention the tests and trials and everything because he didn't bring it up. I just tried to love him from across the table, which is what I knew I'd have to do. I was scared and Justin was supportive.
Although some tests are being done, MRIs and CTs, and although Laura's surgeon dad has pulled every string he touches, we still won't have any answers or information until as late as February. It will be hard going through the holidays in the dark, but Dad insists I should just go to Florida and be there and if anything goes wrong, I can come home. I will stay with him on Christmas Eve, I think. Play scrabble and watch It's A Wonderful Life and drink wine. I don't know who else will be staying there. I hope it's everyone. I hope I end up in a sleeping bag dogpile on the shag carpet living room floor.
And that's only 12 days away.
Tonight, back to the "me" schedule. Hour at the gym. NPR documentaries while I cook myself dinner. Glass of wine and reruns. A good long stretch and a hot shower. And sleep.
He kept me busy while he was home. We kept eachother busy. The time apart was really good for us, and he managed to fit into my new routines (we managed to fit into each others) pretty well. He came with me to a couple of parties, we did some socializing with lots of friends and some family, and it was for the most part, wonderful. Some of the things I was worried about happened - I excercised less, ate more and less healthy, the house was less tidy. But it was worth it, and I finally felt safe enough to really let go of the things inside me and start to work through them.
The first night he was home, the Bigs took us out to dinner at our favourite restaurant, Allen's on the Danforth. We met Andrea, our top make-up artist and her husband Dave, and our finance guy here at the studio, also Dave, and his wife. The eight of us were loud and stayed late, ordering scotch after scotch from the list as long as my leg. We had bison steak and scallops and all kinds of amazing stuff and laughed a lot. We got home very late, and stayed up watching movies and drinking more wine. When we were finally in bed falling asleep together, the weight of the weeks prior just hit me all at once, and I burst into tears, finally able to be comforted and finally able to just be in the shit because I knew someone was there to help me stop weeping eventually. We talked about all the things that were going on - and there was a lot - and from then on, I started to feel better.
I didn't write this before because I wasn't allowed to, and now it's moot. Justin lost his job at St. Georges. And then got it back again. It's all very complicated, but to make a long story somewhat short, Justin and the other pros are not employed by St. Georges, they are employed by the Head Pro. Which was Cameron. Cameron had a budget, and with that budget, could hire who he wanted and spend what he wanted and it didn't matter as long as he stayed under the final amount, and the course ran perfectly. No small task, but that is why Head Pros make unconscionable amounts of money. In any case, Cameron failed at this miserably, and ran the course at a major loss, going far over budget under the vague assumption that "if he did a good enough job, the board of directors wouldn't care about the hundred grand he was over target".
Obviously this wasn't the case. He went over without permission my an incredible amount, then tried to hide it, then tried to excuse it. And then he got fired. Which meant Justin and all the other pros were fired, too. A new pro would be hired, and whether or not he would retain any old St. Georges staff would be completely their perogative. Often, new Head Pros bring their own apprentices. St. G's is the number one course in Canada - any asisstant professional would jump at the chance to follow their Pro there. Justin was going to have to finish up in Florida, come home in March, and find a new job. Which was not going to be easy.
Colin was the asisstant professional at St G's, under Cameron. He got fired too, essentially, but on a long-shot (he is underexperienced and young) approached the board and asked for one year to try to turn the course around financially, and to fix the problems with Cameron's management. No one thought it would happen, but it did, and we all think it was a fabulous decision. Colin announced at a Christmas party for last year's professional staff that he was giving everyone their jobs back. Colin and Justin and I and all the important people in our lives that work at St. Gs are very close to Colin - the boys sit in my living room and dish about work non-stop and I know they have the highest regard for his work ethic and ability to run the team. He's pruning young and inexperienced free-loading part timers, and giving the hard-working, experienced, mature staff better salaries and more perks - hoping that 5 happy full timers will be able to do the work of 3 underpaid full timers, cranky from picking up the slack of others, and 5 lazy and also underpaid high schoolers, looking for any way they can to cut corners.
But this had all yet to take place, and that night, I felt like we had completely lost control of our lives. But he's got his job back, and under a better boss. So that has been fixed.
We had dinner last night with Dad, Dave and Laura. The place Dave picked ended up looking a bit shit, so he insisted we go to a different Italian place across St. Clair, which was great. Laura is so lovely, in a Burberry scarf and pearl earrings - but with a loud voice and very clever. She is wonderful and surprising. I gave Dave an extra long hug and didn't mention the tests and trials and everything because he didn't bring it up. I just tried to love him from across the table, which is what I knew I'd have to do. I was scared and Justin was supportive.
Although some tests are being done, MRIs and CTs, and although Laura's surgeon dad has pulled every string he touches, we still won't have any answers or information until as late as February. It will be hard going through the holidays in the dark, but Dad insists I should just go to Florida and be there and if anything goes wrong, I can come home. I will stay with him on Christmas Eve, I think. Play scrabble and watch It's A Wonderful Life and drink wine. I don't know who else will be staying there. I hope it's everyone. I hope I end up in a sleeping bag dogpile on the shag carpet living room floor.
And that's only 12 days away.
Tonight, back to the "me" schedule. Hour at the gym. NPR documentaries while I cook myself dinner. Glass of wine and reruns. A good long stretch and a hot shower. And sleep.