I put an angry letter on the fridge adressing myself using the name my father uses when I'm acting l
I've gained ten pounds back since I got home from Mexico. I was really close to where I wanted to be, within five pounds or so. By the time we got to the cottage, it was seven, and now I've not only stopped losing, I'm gaining again.
I'm trying really hard to not to develop problems with eating. Before I went to Mexico, I couldn't eat without feeling physically ill, unless I was stoned. When I got back, I was violently ill. As soon as I got better, I wanted to eat, and now I can't stop again. I feel like if I am too hard on myself I will push myself back into bad habits and dangerous territory.
This means a lot to me, and I'm doing it for the right reasons. I don't understand how I can make myself work out five times a week, but I can't make myself stop eating. I just want to be healthy. If I can just go back to eating like I was before, I will burn through this so quickly, but for the first time since I started at this, I feel like I'm not in control. And that's been the whole appeal.
I'm trying really hard to not to develop problems with eating. Before I went to Mexico, I couldn't eat without feeling physically ill, unless I was stoned. When I got back, I was violently ill. As soon as I got better, I wanted to eat, and now I can't stop again. I feel like if I am too hard on myself I will push myself back into bad habits and dangerous territory.
This means a lot to me, and I'm doing it for the right reasons. I don't understand how I can make myself work out five times a week, but I can't make myself stop eating. I just want to be healthy. If I can just go back to eating like I was before, I will burn through this so quickly, but for the first time since I started at this, I feel like I'm not in control. And that's been the whole appeal.