Girl I can relate to you I am on effexor for my depression and I have been under A LOT of stress lately and I get bad anxiety attacks and I have to take meds for that too so I know how you are feeling. I am new at this whole LJ thing I bairly got mine up and going. I worked all day on it yesterday sense I was sick and didn't go to school. I can't miss anymore days I've missed 3 already and one was for a death in the family and the other one was my aunt was in the hospital so I'm going to have to go see the dean and get those cleared. Have fun on your trip :)
Re: Relating...cat_fSeptember 28 2004, 22:05:19 UTC
Thank you... I've had depression since I was very young but it's only been in the past few years that I've become a manic depressive. I have good days where I can pretend that everything is fine but then there are the bad days where I am just staring in to this black abyss and those are the days where I normally do something I regret later (like send out weirds emails.... I wish I could take meds be I can't because every one I have tried has made me really sick. Anyway, I hope you get better soon and I am sorry about the loss in your family.
Re: Relating...crimsonmoonliteSeptember 29 2004, 00:21:09 UTC
You know I got sick at first but after my body got used to it I don't get bothered by it anymore. I was told that because it's a chemical inbalance when the meds start to correct the the brain chemicals it makes us feel different and even sick, tired, fatigued, and so forth but it's not really effecting us in a bad way it's just correcting it so the brain chemicals do work normal. That's the only reason I kept taking mine for more than a week. I hope you get better, and Thank you it was my uncle but I think it was for the better that he died because he was ate up with cancer and he lived the last 5 years of his life homeless in Fresno and hyped up on heroin. We tired to help him but you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves.
Re: Relating...crimsonmoonliteSeptember 29 2004, 14:12:40 UTC
This is true. Sometimes I don't think I'm normal because I've lost so many people in my life when it comes to death it's like I'm numb and I don't feel anything anymore. It's like I've come to relazation that people die all the time and everyone is going to do it sometime.I don't know I'm weird like that.
Re: Relating...crimsonmoonliteSeptember 29 2004, 16:40:24 UTC
Well at least someone thinks I'm normal :). I'm numb most of the time but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with stuff that my feelings start to shine through and I have my moments. I cry but not because of death sometimes I cry just thinking of life in general and not just my life but the life of the world. I hear stories from close friends of rape and how their parents abuse them and then I see others situations and I just feel bad. But normally I'm just numb but I do get effected by things like that sometimes. It's like I'm emotional but not at the same time.
Re: Relating...cat_fSeptember 30 2004, 02:49:32 UTC
Don't talk to me about crying *lol* I could cry for England and most of the time it's for really stupid things like TV adverts. I was watching CSI last night and I just started crying at this scene and my sister asked why I found it sad and my reply was that I wasn't consciously thinking this programme is sad. It was a unconscious feeling. I cry everyday at least 7-10 times, it's worst now around my birthday or any other special event (Christmas, Valentine's, loved one's birthday's). It is just something I have gotten used to.
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