2009
So that I need not explain my actions further in 2009...
*****
I resolve to make new acquaintances, but only as a means to an end.
I resolve to make new friends, but keep them at bay.
I resolve to pursue intimacy, but not romantic relationships.
I resolve to trust no one, because no one is worthy of trust.
In the year that has passed, the refuge which kept my heart was pillaged, ravaged and burnt to the ground by the very ones who I desperately sought to keep in.
Those who I divulged my hopes to, planted it in barren soil and let it wither away under the scorching sun.
As my territory was being razed, my allies gave me words of encouragement... from afar. Not one dared waste ordnance for my cause.
I had been a failure. I had been selfish, abandoning the mission for a chance at creature comforts. I prostrated myself to any semblance of affection.
I believed the lies. I believed that in the idea that God made beauty as the prelude to a deeper and more perceptive soul. It turned out to be quite the contrary.
Now I know that pretty faces are just empty spaces, waiting and eager to be occupied by the most vacuous of men. Now I know that my words are powerless against pulchritude and opulence.
I do not despise the year that has passed. In fact I am thankful for it. To those I had let down, however, I am still truly apologetic.
To my brethren, the hurt and the downtrodden,
the ignored and shamed,
those who perpetually work to no avail,
those who were relegated to eternal darkness against their choice.
The disenfranchised and deprived.
The heartbroken and suicidal.
Those who still believe...
I resolve to fight a damn good fight this year.
Until this tired body gives or until we win.
For us.
*****
"The fiercest enemy is the man who has nothing left to lose."
Welcome 2009!!! YAY!!!
