(no subject)
I don't know how to put this without going into detail...I can't phrase it too well...
I think there is something wrong with me...like I believe there is something wrong with me. And this isn't whining or feeling bad for myself, or fishing for comments. This isn't anything like that, and that is the exact reasons I can't talk to anyone about it. I won't talk about it, I tried it doesn't work. And the fact is I can never win. I have watched too many people close to me suffer and they have come out, but it was never the same. Everything changed...and I know the same will happen to me. I should change, but it isn't as easy as it sounds. And I don't want to end up like ... and ... , but all I can do is sit here and watch it get worse. I feel like it's killing me, but I am letting it. Why should it matter? The only sane part of me left is screaming...
I think there is something wrong with me...like I believe there is something wrong with me. And this isn't whining or feeling bad for myself, or fishing for comments. This isn't anything like that, and that is the exact reasons I can't talk to anyone about it. I won't talk about it, I tried it doesn't work. And the fact is I can never win. I have watched too many people close to me suffer and they have come out, but it was never the same. Everything changed...and I know the same will happen to me. I should change, but it isn't as easy as it sounds. And I don't want to end up like ... and ... , but all I can do is sit here and watch it get worse. I feel like it's killing me, but I am letting it. Why should it matter? The only sane part of me left is screaming...