Orphan Black - Operation: Get Fee Laid
Title: Operation: Get Fee Laid
Genre: Fluff, crack, background Cosima/Delphine, background Felix/Other(s)
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~1,400 words
Spoilers: Through episode 2.06.
Synopsis: With as much as he had gone through since this whole clone thing came to light, it was the least they could do, really.
Author's Notes: Inspired by a conversation over Twitter with
revolutionaryjo and
shehulking.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and am making no profit from this.
Also available on AO3.
"You can't do this."
"Can. Will. Have," Cosima shrugged.
"But the treatments..." Leekie tried.
"Are weekly, not daily," she pointed out. She grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder before she added, "I've had mine for the week and will be gone for, like, two days tops."
He frowned and changed tactics. "Your contract..."
"My contract states my research is not to be shared as public knowledge and, before you try the whole 'we copyrighted you and therefore you're our property and have to do what we say' thing, realize that I do read, and some of that reading is pesky things like Congress' opinion on genetic copyrights and how they basically declared that whole 'owning us' thing as moot over a year ago," she replied. She had Scott to thank for that little tidbit of knowledge. Needless to say, it had put more than a single mind at ease when he broke it down for her.
She turned to see Delphine smile at her and, upon a questioning eyebrow raise, the other scientist said, "You said moot."
She grinned, unrepentant. "It's a good word," she agreed.
Now Leekie's hands were waving, fingers in motion as if they could grasp onto something, anything, to use against her to get her to stay. "You're going to put the whole operation, years, no decades, of research at risk, and for what?"
She walked towards the door, fairly certain he wouldn't stop her, especially with the video feed she had going on the laptop she carried. When she reached safe distance, she replied, "To get Fee laid."
"So how'd you swing a day pass?" Sarah asked. She held up a flask and waggled it. Cosima took it readily enough, but Alison shook her head with only a hint of a look of longing.
"Two day pass," she corrected after a swig. It burned on the way down, but was no worse than some of the stuff she had drank in her days. "And apparently Dyad is terrified of this many of us in the potential public eye together. The threat of a live video conference had Leekie's panties in enough of a bunch that I'm fairly certain we've got our own security contingent waiting outside to make sure no one gets close."
That was actually the point of the whole thing, really. Dyad or Leekie or Rachel tried to use Felix against as leverage against any one of them again, and the others would go public. This was a show of solidarity, a hint of a threat of what they were willing to do. It also declared their home base and allegiance, and hopefully wrapped Fee under the same protective blanket as the rest of them, but in a good way. It seemed to be working too as, aside from a handful of texts verifying their status and their current totally less than stealthy security contingent, they were being left blissfully alone.
"Save for who we want to get through, correct?" Alison verified. She handed out sandwiches, each with the crust neatly trimmed and each wrapped in wax paper color coded to her standards. Her Dyad contact had tried quoting her contract to her as well, and she had pointed out she had solely agreed to regular medical tests and then asked them if they really wanted to get into a discussion about violating signed agreements while a certain soon-to-be-ex was listening in from the other room. She too, found herself with an afternoon oddly free after that.
Cosima unwrapped hers and was pleased to see just the right amount of sprouts on it. "Correct. I think Paul's out there with a picture to make sure no one else slips by." She kind of wondered what he thought of being Booty Call Guard, then remembered she didn't care. He had a long way to go to get back into her good graces and she barely knew the man. She did, however, know that he'd have to go much farther to make things right with Sarah and her clan.
Alison settled herself on the cushion she had brought with and hummed, "Yes, but is he doing it because he was ordered to or because he feels the need to apologize for framing Felix for murder?"
Sarah took her flask back and declared, "He's doing it because he's afraid of what Mrs. S will do to his balls if he hurts her boy again." It was fair enough and possibly likely considering Cosima thought she had caught a glimpse of the elusive Siobhan patrolling the neighborhood on her way in. At least she assumed it was her by the way an older woman with Sarah's fashion sense eyed her with familiarity until she was close enough to become a stranger.
"Felix has helped us all out on some occasion or another, and been rewarded with legalities and unwanted tenants for his troubles," Alison pointed out. Cosima didn't fully understand the friendship between the two apparent opposites, but it seemed to work for them. The best she could figure was that Alison was an only child looking for an understanding sibling, and it was an ingrained thing for Felix to care about those who reminded him of his often wayward sister.
"You ever apologize for aiming a gun at him?" Cosima asked around a mouthful of mayo. She offered a bite to Delphine at her side, who took it gladly.
Alison made a face and asked, "Isn't she your Don- I mean, your monitor? How can you... Never mind." She flicked her fingers dismissively, nose still slightly wrinkled in disgust.
Delphine opened a container of sliced apples and another one of caramel sauce and agreed, "I am her monitor, yes. I am monitoring her eating habits as we speak." She dipped a slice of apple into the sugary sauce and held it up to Cosima's lips with a smirk of a grin.
Both Alison and Sarah rolled their eyes at that, but it was Alison who spoke next, explaining her version of an apology by saying, "I cleaned his apartment. All of it. I do believe that more than makes up for my earlier infractions."
"Plus I slapped her," Sarah agreed readily enough. Then, as if to lighten the sting, she said, "It was Ali who thought we should do something nice for Fee. Considering I both broke up a five-some and dragged him camping, it's the least I could do."
Cosima knew both infractions were for the safety of Sarah's daughter, and knew Felix held no actual grudge against her for them, but she played the game and raised her eyebrows. "Five? Okay, so much worse than sleeping in his bed."
Delphine blushed and mumbled in French that she would not have called it sleeping. Alison gave them both a look that made Cosima question just what language she took in school. She didn't actually get to ask though, as Helena interrupted the moment by unapologetically stealing a chunk of Sarah's sandwich and dunking it into the caramel. "I frightened him. He may commit his sin without recourse in apology."
"You frighten us all, do we get to commit our sins as well then?" Alison muttered, earning her a chuckle from more than a single genetic identical.
Sarah tucked a wild strand of blonde behind Helena's ear, wiping the resulting caramel on her jeans. "Yeah, Fee's helped us all and yeah, Fee deserves a break. I'm all for helping a brother out, but, really, please don't ask me to get him laid again," she said with a wince.
"Brother sestra," Helena corrected, which rather kind of summed it all up as far as Cosima was concerned. Fee was as much one of them as they were of each other. He was dragged along into this mess and, while he didn't exactly go without complaint, he did go and manage and help and get screwed over for it. Multiple times. If that meant that she had to have a picnic lunch on a hard cement floor in the warehouse district while bad 90's anthems blared from behind a sliding metal door, so be it.
She just kind of sort of didn't want to think about what he was doing with the blindfold they forced his date to wear to walk the gauntlet of clones to get there.
End.
Feedback is always welcomed.
This entry was originally posted at http://cat-77.dreamwidth.org/463006.html. Current comments
Genre: Fluff, crack, background Cosima/Delphine, background Felix/Other(s)
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~1,400 words
Spoilers: Through episode 2.06.
Synopsis: With as much as he had gone through since this whole clone thing came to light, it was the least they could do, really.
Author's Notes: Inspired by a conversation over Twitter with
revolutionaryjo and
shehulking.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and am making no profit from this.
Also available on AO3.
"You can't do this."
"Can. Will. Have," Cosima shrugged.
"But the treatments..." Leekie tried.
"Are weekly, not daily," she pointed out. She grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder before she added, "I've had mine for the week and will be gone for, like, two days tops."
He frowned and changed tactics. "Your contract..."
"My contract states my research is not to be shared as public knowledge and, before you try the whole 'we copyrighted you and therefore you're our property and have to do what we say' thing, realize that I do read, and some of that reading is pesky things like Congress' opinion on genetic copyrights and how they basically declared that whole 'owning us' thing as moot over a year ago," she replied. She had Scott to thank for that little tidbit of knowledge. Needless to say, it had put more than a single mind at ease when he broke it down for her.
She turned to see Delphine smile at her and, upon a questioning eyebrow raise, the other scientist said, "You said moot."
She grinned, unrepentant. "It's a good word," she agreed.
Now Leekie's hands were waving, fingers in motion as if they could grasp onto something, anything, to use against her to get her to stay. "You're going to put the whole operation, years, no decades, of research at risk, and for what?"
She walked towards the door, fairly certain he wouldn't stop her, especially with the video feed she had going on the laptop she carried. When she reached safe distance, she replied, "To get Fee laid."
"So how'd you swing a day pass?" Sarah asked. She held up a flask and waggled it. Cosima took it readily enough, but Alison shook her head with only a hint of a look of longing.
"Two day pass," she corrected after a swig. It burned on the way down, but was no worse than some of the stuff she had drank in her days. "And apparently Dyad is terrified of this many of us in the potential public eye together. The threat of a live video conference had Leekie's panties in enough of a bunch that I'm fairly certain we've got our own security contingent waiting outside to make sure no one gets close."
That was actually the point of the whole thing, really. Dyad or Leekie or Rachel tried to use Felix against as leverage against any one of them again, and the others would go public. This was a show of solidarity, a hint of a threat of what they were willing to do. It also declared their home base and allegiance, and hopefully wrapped Fee under the same protective blanket as the rest of them, but in a good way. It seemed to be working too as, aside from a handful of texts verifying their status and their current totally less than stealthy security contingent, they were being left blissfully alone.
"Save for who we want to get through, correct?" Alison verified. She handed out sandwiches, each with the crust neatly trimmed and each wrapped in wax paper color coded to her standards. Her Dyad contact had tried quoting her contract to her as well, and she had pointed out she had solely agreed to regular medical tests and then asked them if they really wanted to get into a discussion about violating signed agreements while a certain soon-to-be-ex was listening in from the other room. She too, found herself with an afternoon oddly free after that.
Cosima unwrapped hers and was pleased to see just the right amount of sprouts on it. "Correct. I think Paul's out there with a picture to make sure no one else slips by." She kind of wondered what he thought of being Booty Call Guard, then remembered she didn't care. He had a long way to go to get back into her good graces and she barely knew the man. She did, however, know that he'd have to go much farther to make things right with Sarah and her clan.
Alison settled herself on the cushion she had brought with and hummed, "Yes, but is he doing it because he was ordered to or because he feels the need to apologize for framing Felix for murder?"
Sarah took her flask back and declared, "He's doing it because he's afraid of what Mrs. S will do to his balls if he hurts her boy again." It was fair enough and possibly likely considering Cosima thought she had caught a glimpse of the elusive Siobhan patrolling the neighborhood on her way in. At least she assumed it was her by the way an older woman with Sarah's fashion sense eyed her with familiarity until she was close enough to become a stranger.
"Felix has helped us all out on some occasion or another, and been rewarded with legalities and unwanted tenants for his troubles," Alison pointed out. Cosima didn't fully understand the friendship between the two apparent opposites, but it seemed to work for them. The best she could figure was that Alison was an only child looking for an understanding sibling, and it was an ingrained thing for Felix to care about those who reminded him of his often wayward sister.
"You ever apologize for aiming a gun at him?" Cosima asked around a mouthful of mayo. She offered a bite to Delphine at her side, who took it gladly.
Alison made a face and asked, "Isn't she your Don- I mean, your monitor? How can you... Never mind." She flicked her fingers dismissively, nose still slightly wrinkled in disgust.
Delphine opened a container of sliced apples and another one of caramel sauce and agreed, "I am her monitor, yes. I am monitoring her eating habits as we speak." She dipped a slice of apple into the sugary sauce and held it up to Cosima's lips with a smirk of a grin.
Both Alison and Sarah rolled their eyes at that, but it was Alison who spoke next, explaining her version of an apology by saying, "I cleaned his apartment. All of it. I do believe that more than makes up for my earlier infractions."
"Plus I slapped her," Sarah agreed readily enough. Then, as if to lighten the sting, she said, "It was Ali who thought we should do something nice for Fee. Considering I both broke up a five-some and dragged him camping, it's the least I could do."
Cosima knew both infractions were for the safety of Sarah's daughter, and knew Felix held no actual grudge against her for them, but she played the game and raised her eyebrows. "Five? Okay, so much worse than sleeping in his bed."
Delphine blushed and mumbled in French that she would not have called it sleeping. Alison gave them both a look that made Cosima question just what language she took in school. She didn't actually get to ask though, as Helena interrupted the moment by unapologetically stealing a chunk of Sarah's sandwich and dunking it into the caramel. "I frightened him. He may commit his sin without recourse in apology."
"You frighten us all, do we get to commit our sins as well then?" Alison muttered, earning her a chuckle from more than a single genetic identical.
Sarah tucked a wild strand of blonde behind Helena's ear, wiping the resulting caramel on her jeans. "Yeah, Fee's helped us all and yeah, Fee deserves a break. I'm all for helping a brother out, but, really, please don't ask me to get him laid again," she said with a wince.
"Brother sestra," Helena corrected, which rather kind of summed it all up as far as Cosima was concerned. Fee was as much one of them as they were of each other. He was dragged along into this mess and, while he didn't exactly go without complaint, he did go and manage and help and get screwed over for it. Multiple times. If that meant that she had to have a picnic lunch on a hard cement floor in the warehouse district while bad 90's anthems blared from behind a sliding metal door, so be it.
She just kind of sort of didn't want to think about what he was doing with the blindfold they forced his date to wear to walk the gauntlet of clones to get there.
End.
Feedback is always welcomed.
This entry was originally posted at http://cat-77.dreamwidth.org/463006.html. Current comments