Difficult Night
Today makes 3 weeks since Mike died, and I'm having a hard time dealing tonight. His mom sent me a package today. There were puppy notecards from her, and two birthday cards that Mike wanted to give me. He told me at the end of February that he'd feel bad if I had to spend my birthday at the hospice center. I told him not to be an ass, hehe. Also included in the package were two more pictures from Hawaii; one of Mike in his tux that I've taped to the computer, and one of all 6 of us at the beginning of the luau we went to. I keep looking at that one and wishing I could just hug him and hold his hand again. I've broken down in sobbing fits 5 or 6 times today. In addition to grieving, I have the fucking flu. No, tonight's not going so well.
I went on a job interview last night. There's a woman who hires nurse aids as subcontractors and she was looking for someone to take care of an elderly hospice patient in her home overnight. The pay is $52/night and I'd work every other night. She hired me on the spot, but I'm going to have to call her and tell her I can't start tomorrow night as planned because of the whole stomach virus thing. I hope she doesn't mind me starting on Sunday or Monday instead. My mom told me to remind her that going in sick would be bad for the patient, who's immune system is already fucked up. I don't know, though. The owner seems pretty shady to begin with, so she may tell me to stuff it in my ass. I'm not too concerned. I'll deal with it when the time comes. Bleh.
I really can't believe it's been 3 weeks already. I think I held up well for the first couple of weeks and I'm starting to fall apart now. I dream about Mike, everything I do reminds me of things we did together, etc. I'm glad I came back home, because if I were alone on days like today I'd probably do something extremely stupid.
I went on a job interview last night. There's a woman who hires nurse aids as subcontractors and she was looking for someone to take care of an elderly hospice patient in her home overnight. The pay is $52/night and I'd work every other night. She hired me on the spot, but I'm going to have to call her and tell her I can't start tomorrow night as planned because of the whole stomach virus thing. I hope she doesn't mind me starting on Sunday or Monday instead. My mom told me to remind her that going in sick would be bad for the patient, who's immune system is already fucked up. I don't know, though. The owner seems pretty shady to begin with, so she may tell me to stuff it in my ass. I'm not too concerned. I'll deal with it when the time comes. Bleh.
I really can't believe it's been 3 weeks already. I think I held up well for the first couple of weeks and I'm starting to fall apart now. I dream about Mike, everything I do reminds me of things we did together, etc. I'm glad I came back home, because if I were alone on days like today I'd probably do something extremely stupid.