Im pretty and pretty will swallow you forever(15/15)
AN: The last installment. I can actually say it physically hurt me to write this...but it had to be done. Its been floating in my head since the night I wrote the last one and I couldnt see any other way, otherwise I would have written it so.
It had been months since that night. Jason and Kris had been together and happy for a long time now. The single had gotten rave reviews and the couple had toured together, a couple of happy ducklings that have been given thier own pond. Tour ended, and the happy couple moved in together, purchasing a small place in the hills. It was well hidden from the world, thier own little escape.
Though they both had seperate careers and the lives that went with them, they never denied or confirmed the fact that they were together. All a person had to do was look and they could see. Neither of the pair shyed away from touching in public, one of the two always had his hand somewhere. A hip, an arm, a hand. It was obvious to anyone with any hint of intuition that these two birds were sick in love.
Or so Jason had thought.
At first, it had taken Kris months to utter the elusive L word. When he finally did so, it made Jason want to cry happy tears. Instead, the tanned angel and only gathered his dreads in a bunch behind his neck and pulled while stating that he loved Kris too, as if it were the most obvious piece of information imaginable.
The brown eyed country boy had never said them again. At first this didnt phase Jason. Love was a big word after all. He would have been more worried had Kris over used it.
Gradually though, Kris pulled away completely. Thier were no more referances to Jason being an angel or loving sweet nothings late at night as they lay next to eachother. Nothing. It had gotten to the point where Jason was happy if there were any words at all. Mostly it was just grunts and sighs, and it seemed as though Kris even had trouble looking Jason in the eye. It tore at his heart, especially after all they had been through together. Wondering if it was something he did, Jason confronted Kris.
"What is it? Youre driving me insane with all of this"
Kris looked genuinely confused by this.
"All of what?" he asked, tilting his head to one side.
"This, this not talking and not touching, its like Im not even alive, like you dont see me at all."
Jason walked slowly toward him, his eyes now wide and panic stricken. He took Kris' hand while he protested.
"Jason I--" The smaller man's words died against his lips as Jason brought his hand to rest over his own heart.
"Can you hear that? Do you feel it?" he asked.
Kris could only nod his head.
"That beats only for you. I dont know what I did, but I can tell you I didnt mean to. Please tell me what happened and stop pushing me away, I cant take it."
Kris was now staring at his feet. Jason waited, trying to be paitient because something was obviously eating at the man.
"Jason, when I met you...I wasnt completely over Adam. Somehow though, when I saw you...It was like seeing an angel. I felt like someone had sent you to me, to save me from my own broken soul."
Jason did his best to keep silent as Kris told his story.
"But, I cant do this anymore. I cant lie. Not to you." He reached up and ran a soft thumb over the slope in Jason's cheek.
For Jason's part, he was trying hard to appear as if he didnt feel like he were being torn limb from limb.
"Kris...what are you talking about, what are you saying?" Jason heard Kris inhale a deep breath before attempting to explain.
"Im saying, I cant do it anymore. Us. I...Jason, Adam...Im still in love with Adam."
Feeling the room start to spin, he planted his feet and backed into the wall in an effort to stay upright.
"And our careers, we're in such different places, we dont have time for eachother, to figure eachother out" Kris looked up at him and Jason could see that tears were pooling in his eyes too. "Im sorry Jason. I really wish I could love you, angel."
With that, Kris stood on tiptoe and kissed Jason's cheek before turning away. "Goodbye" he whispered.
"F-fuck you" Jason whispered weakly. Hearing the door close softly and a car rip from the driveway, he couldnt hold it together anymore. Sliding down the wall, Jason rested his head against it when he finally reached a crouching position. There on the floor, he allowed the silent tears to flow as whimpers punctuated the engulfing soundlessness of the room