{13}
You're like a song on a constant playback
JaeChun
PG
....ideky i wrote this. i don't like this pairing. wtf self?
It’s dark and empty, cool as stone but hollow like wood. ‘Have they always been this sad?’ You wonder idly, thinking back and trudging through recent memories. You haven’t known the other four very long, maybe a month or so at best.
Yet here you are, sitting quietly and just listening as Jaejoong talks and talks and talks.
He’s always been the icebreaker of conversations, the first to start things and first to speak (maybe because he wants attention or maybe because he can’t stand the silence). But no matter how much Jaejoong talks you find that your attention never strays too far from his eyes. No matter how much Jaejoong talks you still see the almost dead look in his eyes.
When he laughs it’s guarded, hand covering half of his face and looking readily defensive. Admittedly, you only notice this because it’s such a handsome face and to cover it is really such a shame. Shallow, deep; you’re both of these things at once.
Then all eyes are on you and belatedly you realize that someone must’ve asked you a question.
The interviewer smiles at you imploringly.
You laugh and crinkle your eyes because it looks cute then throw a charming smile her way. It’s the correct answer apparently (even though Junsu makes a playful protest and pushes you) because she giggles and turns her attention to another topic.
There’s a feeling niggling into your brain and when you look to your left a gaze of dark marble jets into your mind--your brain burns with a stinging cold and is soothed by strange warmth; complete torture in a breath of second, in a moment’s glance.
‘Talk more,’ the eyes say. ‘Do more.’
For reasons that even you don’t know you’re the one to wrap up the interview with what is almost a heartfelt thank-you to the fans.
-x-
Skip a few years and things still haven’t changed all that much. He still the same attention whore as before, still just as beautiful, and still just as empty. ‘Has there always been this mask?’ you wonder, looking back at how he’s always been a stubbornly proud goon.
He doesn’t ask for help if he can help it, yet he’s quick to offer it because he understands what it means to need help. At first you were confused but now you understand, though it still pisses you off from time to time.
What you don’t understand is how he can be so hidden and yet bare so much of his heart for the entire world to see and feel.
-x-
For most people, eyes are the window to the soul. This applies to Junsu, eyes always spilling with every emotion he feels; this applies to Yunho, eyes always determined to try again, try again, try again, even with each failed blow; this applies to Changmin, eyes slanted and mismatched when he’s happy, no matter if he wants to appear indifferent and mature.
But Jaejoong’s different and you’re different and maybe that’s why you’re drawn to him as strongly as you are. Your eyes are traps, designed to be looked at but not analyzed.
When you close your eyes and cry, when you close your eyes and play, when you close your eyes to dream, you’re baring your everything for everyone. Tears and dreams and cruel fate twists your soul and it’s an ugly thing, black, sad, and that’s why you suppress it.
When he sings, when he speaks, when he is alive and acknowledged, he’s alive and showing what he is. He opens himself up for music and words--amazingly beautiful things that you’re not.
You like to see the him he hides under his half-mask, so when you play the piano, eyes closed, you make him sing.
-x-
To you, together with him you’ll both end up covering an entire existence from being.
To Jaejoong, both halves of the masks will fall away to show heart and soul and mind.
JaeChun
PG
....ideky i wrote this. i don't like this pairing. wtf self?
It’s dark and empty, cool as stone but hollow like wood. ‘Have they always been this sad?’ You wonder idly, thinking back and trudging through recent memories. You haven’t known the other four very long, maybe a month or so at best.
Yet here you are, sitting quietly and just listening as Jaejoong talks and talks and talks.
He’s always been the icebreaker of conversations, the first to start things and first to speak (maybe because he wants attention or maybe because he can’t stand the silence). But no matter how much Jaejoong talks you find that your attention never strays too far from his eyes. No matter how much Jaejoong talks you still see the almost dead look in his eyes.
When he laughs it’s guarded, hand covering half of his face and looking readily defensive. Admittedly, you only notice this because it’s such a handsome face and to cover it is really such a shame. Shallow, deep; you’re both of these things at once.
Then all eyes are on you and belatedly you realize that someone must’ve asked you a question.
The interviewer smiles at you imploringly.
You laugh and crinkle your eyes because it looks cute then throw a charming smile her way. It’s the correct answer apparently (even though Junsu makes a playful protest and pushes you) because she giggles and turns her attention to another topic.
There’s a feeling niggling into your brain and when you look to your left a gaze of dark marble jets into your mind--your brain burns with a stinging cold and is soothed by strange warmth; complete torture in a breath of second, in a moment’s glance.
‘Talk more,’ the eyes say. ‘Do more.’
For reasons that even you don’t know you’re the one to wrap up the interview with what is almost a heartfelt thank-you to the fans.
-x-
Skip a few years and things still haven’t changed all that much. He still the same attention whore as before, still just as beautiful, and still just as empty. ‘Has there always been this mask?’ you wonder, looking back at how he’s always been a stubbornly proud goon.
He doesn’t ask for help if he can help it, yet he’s quick to offer it because he understands what it means to need help. At first you were confused but now you understand, though it still pisses you off from time to time.
What you don’t understand is how he can be so hidden and yet bare so much of his heart for the entire world to see and feel.
-x-
For most people, eyes are the window to the soul. This applies to Junsu, eyes always spilling with every emotion he feels; this applies to Yunho, eyes always determined to try again, try again, try again, even with each failed blow; this applies to Changmin, eyes slanted and mismatched when he’s happy, no matter if he wants to appear indifferent and mature.
But Jaejoong’s different and you’re different and maybe that’s why you’re drawn to him as strongly as you are. Your eyes are traps, designed to be looked at but not analyzed.
When you close your eyes and cry, when you close your eyes and play, when you close your eyes to dream, you’re baring your everything for everyone. Tears and dreams and cruel fate twists your soul and it’s an ugly thing, black, sad, and that’s why you suppress it.
When he sings, when he speaks, when he is alive and acknowledged, he’s alive and showing what he is. He opens himself up for music and words--amazingly beautiful things that you’re not.
You like to see the him he hides under his half-mask, so when you play the piano, eyes closed, you make him sing.
-x-
To you, together with him you’ll both end up covering an entire existence from being.
To Jaejoong, both halves of the masks will fall away to show heart and soul and mind.