A Shallow View of the Olympics
I will eventually write a real update. This is not that update.
Anyway.
The Olympics Opening Ceremony were yesterday and, yes, I watched. I don't watch many of the athletic events, but mah gawd, I will park my ass in front of the television for the Opening and Closing Ceremonies. China's government is full of censorship-happy, liberty-crushing propagandists, but I knew they would put on a hell of a show. And they did and I loved most of it, even though I rolled my eyes a bit in certain bits involving schoolchildren. A bunch of kids in the middle of a swarm of blinking green people. What?
But the scroll, the costumes, the drums, the lighting of the torch, the fireworks, the weird blocks that kept going up and down, all that stuff: gold. My immediate reaction to the smiling face/sun on the scroll was that they put it there to lull us into false complacency while they quickly replace us as the world's premier superpower. I'm on to you, China!
I won't lie, I stayed tuned in to the parade of nations to see hot athletes and national outfits. From what I can remember, someone apparently bled all over the women of Hungary, Israel looked like it just came back from a day at a country club, and the USA looked like a bunch of ship captains. Damn you, Ralph Lauren!
And to go into the really shallow end of the pool: I never quite got the hotness of the Olympic athletes whose looks get a bunch of attention. Like, I've never considered anyone on the US swimming team attractive and they seem to get the most media. Just meh. I thought I spotted a really hot one in the USA team until I looked closer and saw that it was LeBron James, like how in the hell did I not see it was LeBron James straight off the bat? I'm blaming Ralph Lauren yet again, especially since looking at that outfit again has made me realize that Team USA could also pass for flight attendants.
Anyway, I discovered what the problem was, why I never really went "Whoa!" when faced with some Olympic athlete's looks. Both Gambia and Sweden were hiding this one from me:
Gambia and Sweden
!
Dude already had his boxing match and lost against some other dude from India (I don't know boxing and I'm not even going to pretend to know boxing), so my eye candy will disappear until the Closing Ceremony. I guess I'll still have LeBron?
Who apparently defected to Great Britain when we weren't looking. Look, just because your last King James sucked doesn't mean you get to take ours. Give him back!
I'm not even getting into Youngs' China-lovin'.
Anyway.
The Olympics Opening Ceremony were yesterday and, yes, I watched. I don't watch many of the athletic events, but mah gawd, I will park my ass in front of the television for the Opening and Closing Ceremonies. China's government is full of censorship-happy, liberty-crushing propagandists, but I knew they would put on a hell of a show. And they did and I loved most of it, even though I rolled my eyes a bit in certain bits involving schoolchildren. A bunch of kids in the middle of a swarm of blinking green people. What?
But the scroll, the costumes, the drums, the lighting of the torch, the fireworks, the weird blocks that kept going up and down, all that stuff: gold. My immediate reaction to the smiling face/sun on the scroll was that they put it there to lull us into false complacency while they quickly replace us as the world's premier superpower. I'm on to you, China!
I won't lie, I stayed tuned in to the parade of nations to see hot athletes and national outfits. From what I can remember, someone apparently bled all over the women of Hungary, Israel looked like it just came back from a day at a country club, and the USA looked like a bunch of ship captains. Damn you, Ralph Lauren!
And to go into the really shallow end of the pool: I never quite got the hotness of the Olympic athletes whose looks get a bunch of attention. Like, I've never considered anyone on the US swimming team attractive and they seem to get the most media. Just meh. I thought I spotted a really hot one in the USA team until I looked closer and saw that it was LeBron James, like how in the hell did I not see it was LeBron James straight off the bat? I'm blaming Ralph Lauren yet again, especially since looking at that outfit again has made me realize that Team USA could also pass for flight attendants.
Anyway, I discovered what the problem was, why I never really went "Whoa!" when faced with some Olympic athlete's looks. Both Gambia and Sweden were hiding this one from me:
Gambia and Sweden
!
Dude already had his boxing match and lost against some other dude from India (I don't know boxing and I'm not even going to pretend to know boxing), so my eye candy will disappear until the Closing Ceremony. I guess I'll still have LeBron?
Who apparently defected to Great Britain when we weren't looking. Look, just because your last King James sucked doesn't mean you get to take ours. Give him back!
I'm not even getting into Youngs' China-lovin'.