In Which Some Light is Shed on the Enlightenment
Here's the deal: sometimes, at your Tuesday night, 6-9pm history class, you do not feel like taking real notes.
Here's another deal: all the time, in your Tuesday night, 6-9pm history class, your professor is this amazingly insane - but mostly amazing - man who, though he teaches extremely well, can sometime stray off topic. Even when he doesn't stray, what he says can be fucking hilarious taken out of context, which is what I have done here.
Almost everything on this faux-outline is directly quoted from my history class earlier tonight.
The only thing more hilarious than hearing him say all these things in class is going back and reading it all taken completely out of context.
(It starts out sort of as real notes; let it not be said that I never tried)
-House of Reps appropriates all bills
• Pres has no authority in that area
-Check the POWER! Montesquieu would be so proud.
-Democracy is the most inefficient form of government.
-It’s a Pardon-o-rama!
• You know much about Iranians? Not a good people to sell arms to.
• That’s a kick in the butt, isn’t it?
-That’s a good Irish name, Rousseau.
• He was the psychologist of the Enlightenment
o I don’t think psychology existed in the 1700s.
o You have to ask major questions when you get married…like does the toilet paper roll over or under?
• Do you like to be a snuggle-bunny?
• 5 Most Important Words a Married Man Needs to Know:
Yes, dear, you’re absolutely right.
• So what does that have to do with Rousseau?
I don’t know.
• Is there freedom of speech in the natural world?
o Um, animals don’t talk.
• Fluffy did nothing wrong…that’s the natural world.
• I think you stole my homework, so I go and burn the curtains down in your dorm room. That’s justice, isn’t it?
o Instinct is not justice.
• It’s like we’re some kind of parallel universe or something.
• We used to think he looked like Frankenstein
o The voice of DU-TY!
• That’s called toleration. That’s not normal. It’s not normal to respect other people’s religions. It’s not natural.
• Arrogant pride is as instinctive as it gets.
o My glasses keep falling off…
• Do mountain lions have to get a permit before they kill a deer?
o Now there’s another little twist on it.
• Rousseau was not a perfect man.
He was so into his philosophy that he gave up all his children for adoption.
-He’s not really that important to history.
• And I can almost promise you that will not be on the midterm.
• Wait a minute, don’t despair.
-Under the Tudors in England, the Parliament was accepted…grudgingly.
• Uhhh, I just made that up to see if you were listening.
-Magdeburg.
-You mean you can’t see through me??
• The European countries cut up Africa like a Monopoly board
• Nobody would want to sleep in Harry’s tent…”they’ll blow us up one night!”
o Plus all you girls must think he’s a hottie.
• I feel comfortable around girls.
• We’re playing Bill and Mary this weekend.
o Okay, that one kind of bombed.
• P-R-U-S-S-I-A. Prussia.
• Have you ever seen Jefferson’s bed in Monticello?
o I would have to sleep curled up.
• Have you seen James Madison?
o He looks like a munchkin from the Wizard of Oz.
-Don’t let it creep up on you like a cheap pair of underwear!
• Buy Hanes!
-We’re now going to talk about…Voltaire…maybe, I hope.
• I sat on my glasses last night, y’all.
• Sapere Aude!
• The guys in the Enlightenment would say, “I see stupid people.”
• He probably ticked off every monarch in Europe
o Cover me, Starsky!
o It’s a torture technique they use where they strap you to a board.
• There’s a big brouhaha about that.
o That’s a very satirical slap.
• I guess that means she had good teeth.
-Let’s talk about Cesar Beccaria. You want to? Probably not.
• What are we doing on that list? Oh, right, we execute people.
No comment, except all the ones I recorded just then.
:)
Here's another deal: all the time, in your Tuesday night, 6-9pm history class, your professor is this amazingly insane - but mostly amazing - man who, though he teaches extremely well, can sometime stray off topic. Even when he doesn't stray, what he says can be fucking hilarious taken out of context, which is what I have done here.
Almost everything on this faux-outline is directly quoted from my history class earlier tonight.
The only thing more hilarious than hearing him say all these things in class is going back and reading it all taken completely out of context.
(It starts out sort of as real notes; let it not be said that I never tried)
-House of Reps appropriates all bills
• Pres has no authority in that area
-Check the POWER! Montesquieu would be so proud.
-Democracy is the most inefficient form of government.
-It’s a Pardon-o-rama!
• You know much about Iranians? Not a good people to sell arms to.
• That’s a kick in the butt, isn’t it?
-That’s a good Irish name, Rousseau.
• He was the psychologist of the Enlightenment
o I don’t think psychology existed in the 1700s.
o You have to ask major questions when you get married…like does the toilet paper roll over or under?
• Do you like to be a snuggle-bunny?
• 5 Most Important Words a Married Man Needs to Know:
Yes, dear, you’re absolutely right.
• So what does that have to do with Rousseau?
I don’t know.
• Is there freedom of speech in the natural world?
o Um, animals don’t talk.
• Fluffy did nothing wrong…that’s the natural world.
• I think you stole my homework, so I go and burn the curtains down in your dorm room. That’s justice, isn’t it?
o Instinct is not justice.
• It’s like we’re some kind of parallel universe or something.
• We used to think he looked like Frankenstein
o The voice of DU-TY!
• That’s called toleration. That’s not normal. It’s not normal to respect other people’s religions. It’s not natural.
• Arrogant pride is as instinctive as it gets.
o My glasses keep falling off…
• Do mountain lions have to get a permit before they kill a deer?
o Now there’s another little twist on it.
• Rousseau was not a perfect man.
He was so into his philosophy that he gave up all his children for adoption.
-He’s not really that important to history.
• And I can almost promise you that will not be on the midterm.
• Wait a minute, don’t despair.
-Under the Tudors in England, the Parliament was accepted…grudgingly.
• Uhhh, I just made that up to see if you were listening.
-Magdeburg.
-You mean you can’t see through me??
• The European countries cut up Africa like a Monopoly board
• Nobody would want to sleep in Harry’s tent…”they’ll blow us up one night!”
o Plus all you girls must think he’s a hottie.
• I feel comfortable around girls.
• We’re playing Bill and Mary this weekend.
o Okay, that one kind of bombed.
• P-R-U-S-S-I-A. Prussia.
• Have you ever seen Jefferson’s bed in Monticello?
o I would have to sleep curled up.
• Have you seen James Madison?
o He looks like a munchkin from the Wizard of Oz.
-Don’t let it creep up on you like a cheap pair of underwear!
• Buy Hanes!
-We’re now going to talk about…Voltaire…maybe, I hope.
• I sat on my glasses last night, y’all.
• Sapere Aude!
• The guys in the Enlightenment would say, “I see stupid people.”
• He probably ticked off every monarch in Europe
o Cover me, Starsky!
o It’s a torture technique they use where they strap you to a board.
• There’s a big brouhaha about that.
o That’s a very satirical slap.
• I guess that means she had good teeth.
-Let’s talk about Cesar Beccaria. You want to? Probably not.
• What are we doing on that list? Oh, right, we execute people.
No comment, except all the ones I recorded just then.
:)