From Good to alright, to Bad, to WHAT THE FUCK?
So, I got off work early Friday so that we could all get something to eat before the show. But, everyone took so long getting to the house cause they had to make drug runs for shrooms and stuff. Man I am getting so sick of drugs. I dress all up and feel cute. So, everyone is finally at the house and there's been "fuck you's" and words had. We bounce. Brad and I aren't hungry and don't have money so we just want to head down to the fuggin theatre. But we don't. We sit there as they consume their baby size burritos. Brad totally was jealous cause I was hanging out with Ken. I asked Mark how I looked and Brad interjected "You look good! What am I chopped liver? Why didn't you ask me?" I was like, "Dude you're kinda biased cause you're fucking me and all." I tried to hold Brads hand latter on and his response was "my hand is in my pocket". Dude... what the hell? So I'm wearing a skirt and I didn't bring my purse in so I ask him to hold my stuff in his pockets and he tells me there's no room. I'm getting progressivly pissed.
We finally go to the theatre and wait around for Aaron and Tony.. cause they had to get drugs too. We go in just in time. Find our seats. I love going places with a big group of people. Some guy named Al something started it off. He was funny.. mexican jokes.. but, he can do em cause he's part mexican. Then Stephen Lynch was the highlight of the night. Hilarious. Mitch Hedburg was funny but, somewhat of a disapointment cause he was plastered as hell. He wasn't even telling jokes he was just stumbling around drunk. If I wanted to watch that seriosly I could just go home. "I saw a whino eating a grape and I was like wait.. you gotta hold on." best joke of the night. Except I loved in when he couldn't pronounce state.
So, when we go places I make Brad drive my car cause he refuses to use his and I don't wanna drive. It works out. So, he was my key and all and after the show I tell him we need to wait for Mark and Kathy and he says he's cold and just walks away. Crosses the intersection and leaves me all alone... I need to say bye to Aaron and Tony and stuff and he is being so fucking inconsiderate plus it's my fucking car. By the time I get to my car I'm pissed. Everything has added up and it equals asshole! So I ask him about it and he says I'm reading to much into things. That was the final straw. Decided to just sit and stew. He asked how to get home... didn't answer. Didn't want to talk to him. That got him upset.
We got home and I decided to punk rock out. I went in my room and turned on some loud punk rock music jumped up and down on my bed. Crashed into the wall. Kicked and screamed. Then I threw stuff at the wall. I was mostly mad at myself for being so mad. Tried to remember my anger managment therapy but, it just wasn't coming back. Felt better went out to see everyone. Brad can't handle it when I get upset. He left. He just drove off with out saying bye. That is not the solution!! Why does he not get that? I need him to talk to me about it not just fucking leave!
So I call him and yell at him. Hang up, try to call back. He doesn't answer. I call from Mikes phone. We have a long talk. He says he warned me he was horrible in relationships and by the way we aren't in a relationship so why should I care if he doesn't call, hold my hand and whatever. So, I tell him go ahead and end what we have cause I know he's gonna. He says "no, well.. maybe if it keeps going like this." By the end of the conversation he ended things. I bawled my eyes out. I felt him sigh through the phone. Cried all night. Just bawled. Felt so bad cause everyone was there.
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More later
We finally go to the theatre and wait around for Aaron and Tony.. cause they had to get drugs too. We go in just in time. Find our seats. I love going places with a big group of people. Some guy named Al something started it off. He was funny.. mexican jokes.. but, he can do em cause he's part mexican. Then Stephen Lynch was the highlight of the night. Hilarious. Mitch Hedburg was funny but, somewhat of a disapointment cause he was plastered as hell. He wasn't even telling jokes he was just stumbling around drunk. If I wanted to watch that seriosly I could just go home. "I saw a whino eating a grape and I was like wait.. you gotta hold on." best joke of the night. Except I loved in when he couldn't pronounce state.
So, when we go places I make Brad drive my car cause he refuses to use his and I don't wanna drive. It works out. So, he was my key and all and after the show I tell him we need to wait for Mark and Kathy and he says he's cold and just walks away. Crosses the intersection and leaves me all alone... I need to say bye to Aaron and Tony and stuff and he is being so fucking inconsiderate plus it's my fucking car. By the time I get to my car I'm pissed. Everything has added up and it equals asshole! So I ask him about it and he says I'm reading to much into things. That was the final straw. Decided to just sit and stew. He asked how to get home... didn't answer. Didn't want to talk to him. That got him upset.
We got home and I decided to punk rock out. I went in my room and turned on some loud punk rock music jumped up and down on my bed. Crashed into the wall. Kicked and screamed. Then I threw stuff at the wall. I was mostly mad at myself for being so mad. Tried to remember my anger managment therapy but, it just wasn't coming back. Felt better went out to see everyone. Brad can't handle it when I get upset. He left. He just drove off with out saying bye. That is not the solution!! Why does he not get that? I need him to talk to me about it not just fucking leave!
So I call him and yell at him. Hang up, try to call back. He doesn't answer. I call from Mikes phone. We have a long talk. He says he warned me he was horrible in relationships and by the way we aren't in a relationship so why should I care if he doesn't call, hold my hand and whatever. So, I tell him go ahead and end what we have cause I know he's gonna. He says "no, well.. maybe if it keeps going like this." By the end of the conversation he ended things. I bawled my eyes out. I felt him sigh through the phone. Cried all night. Just bawled. Felt so bad cause everyone was there.
_______________________
More later