yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mama got a heart!!!
Ok so yesterday me and my dad were visiting my mom and the cardiac transplant coordinator came in (her name is Cyndi, she's SO CUTE and warm and genuine and she tells the funniest dirty jokes) with like 5 doctors and said, Don't get your hopes up, but we have a donor from out of state that matches size and blood type. Immediate tears from all of us. She said they still had testing to do on some other stuff but we'd know by that night if it was suitable for surgery. So I'm waiting all night for my dad to call me with any news, but he never does and I don't wanna call him because if I did and there wasn't any news or the heart wasn't good, he'd yell at me. He's got alot of stress right now, understandably. So I waited till we got done eating at applebees about 11 last night and I called him and he said they're prepping her for surgery right now. I was like why didn't you call me????? He said he didn't remember me telling him I'd have my phone on me throughout rehearsal. Poor guy, he's so lost and crazy right now! So I took a shower and then sped the whole way there and got there about 1 a.m. They had already started the anesthesia and the heart was supposed to get there around 1:30. It was me and my dad and two preachers and one of the preacher's wives. My dad had called my brother Matt but he said he wasn't going to come till the morning and told my dad to tell my mom good luck. No. I'm not making that up. But at this point, I don't care.
So I tried to sleep a little and couldn't so I had to pretend to be interested in the preacher's wife's knitting. Bless her heart. Eventually though at a little after 5 the surgeon came out and said, It went beautifully. Immediate tears again. He said the heart was in perfect condition and the surgery went great, all mom's vital signs were great, and even (and this is total TMI) her urine output during surgery was great which was fabulous to hear because it meant already her kidneys were getting more blood and oxygen. Incredible!!
So they moved her into ICU and we waited a loooong time to go see her. Visiting hours are supposed to start at 9 but they were still trying to get her cleaned up and settled. By the time they were ready my SOB brother arrived. He tried to go with my dad first (only 2 people at a time can visit) and my dad was like no way, you shoulda came at 1 in the a.m. like your sister!!! HA!!! So Cyndi is leading the way to my moms room. We get through the double doors to ICU and I see a bunch of nurses, some I recognize and some I don't, some in scrubs and some in regular clothes. When they see me and my dad, I swear it was like we were Brad and Angelina on the red carpet. They start swarming us and saying congratuations and hugging us...and it's immediate tears all over again. As we make our way towards her room we see some of the doctors from her transplant team and they do the same! It was the most wonderful feeling! I felt like they were almost my family, especially the nurses that were assigned to my mom alot, they just seemed to so very genuinely care, not just about my mom but about me and my dad too. More than a few of them had said more than a few times how lucky my mom was to have me and my dad there for her and that we were doing such a great job of supporting her. There were nurses from the 7th floor where my mom had spent alot of time earlier in the year but not recently. They were going on about how glad they were and how much they loved my mom. I was like I know! She's one in a million! When I said that, one of my mom's favorite nurses, Joanna, leaned in to me and said, You know, she really is! So anyway Cyndi finally gets us to my mom's room. She had already told us that my mom would be puffy from necessary transfusions and other stuff. I wasn't really scared to see her, I just was preparing myself for the worst I guess.
Friends, can I tell you. The moment I walked into her room is the best moment of my life so far. I don't know how to explain what I felt but I have to try, it was so amazing! My mom got diagnosed with congestive heart failure (CHF) and cardiomyopathy eleven years ago when I was fourteen. I remember the day. It was my freshmen year, fall semester, and she dropped me off at honor choir auditions at Pottle. Which I made by the way with a 96. I waited probably an hour for her outside when I was done, getting angrier the whole time for her being late, when I see my then best friend's mom drive up. She told me that my dad had asked if she could pick me up, my mom had to go to the hospital. Then of course I felt bad for feeling angry at my mom. I even remember my friends mom had to stop at wal mart so I said cool I'll go get something to eat at mcdonalds and I remember trying to order nuggets and it was still breakfast.
I know I'm kinda rambling...so anyway. Point being. I remember the day this all started. I remember every procedure and surgery she's had, i remember every hospital stay. I remember the terrible things i did as a teen that probably made her condition worse through stress. I remember all the pain she's gone through and that my family has gone through to get to this point. I remember accepting her inevitable passing and trying to think what music should be played at her funeral. But seeing her today in her room made all that sadness and helplessness disappear. The past eleven years have been trying, to say the least, but it was all forgotten today. For the first time in years, her skin was pink. It's been so long since her skin has had even decent circulation. At first I thought she was pale and I was worried but then I realized that she was just a healthy pink instead of a sickly yellow. I looked her up and down, her hands were pink, her legs and feet were pink instead of purple. Then I looked around at all the machines that she was hooked up to and the screen that shows heartbeat and blood pressure was beautiful. The peaks and valleys of her heartbeat was textbook perfect. The top number in her blood pressure was in the 100's instead of the 70's. I looked at her chest and I was humbled by and in awe of the miracle that happened this morning. I've always thought of my mom's heart as this thing that hurts her and makes her weak and steals her from us. I know that sounds a little weird. But looking at her chest and knowing that 'thing' isn't there anymore was the most surreal experience. I just couldn't fathom that she would never have that hurt again. She wouldn't need a wheelchair when we go shopping, she could actually shop with me and try on clothes and shoes!! She'd be able to eat! She could drive again. She could play with her grandchildren instead of sleeping in the chair while they played. All these things that are possible now!!
We aren't out of the woods yet. We still need prayers and vibes, they've gotten us this far and I know they can bring us all the way. She'll be closely monitored of course for any complications and she'll be in the hospital for a long time. But she won't be in any pain anymore. PRAISE GOD!!! My mom, feeling groovy, feeling cool! Coming to choir concerts! Doing mother/daughter stuff with me!! To hell with those other two. Cyndi always calls me the favorite child when I visit, probably because I'm the only one who does. But whatever. My mom has a new heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh yeah, here's another bonus miracle. The heart is just a big muscle, and as with any muscle, if you work it out it gets bigger. That's what happened to my mom's heart. It had to work so hard because of her CHF and other factors that it became enlarged. Anyway, we've all been taught in health or whatever that your heart is about as big as your fist. Pretty small for such a vital organ. Well get this. My dad and I were both curious as to how big her heart had actually gotten so we asked Cyndi. My mom's heart had worked so hard for so many years that it had grown to the size of a dinner plate. No. I'm not making that up.
Ok so yesterday me and my dad were visiting my mom and the cardiac transplant coordinator came in (her name is Cyndi, she's SO CUTE and warm and genuine and she tells the funniest dirty jokes) with like 5 doctors and said, Don't get your hopes up, but we have a donor from out of state that matches size and blood type. Immediate tears from all of us. She said they still had testing to do on some other stuff but we'd know by that night if it was suitable for surgery. So I'm waiting all night for my dad to call me with any news, but he never does and I don't wanna call him because if I did and there wasn't any news or the heart wasn't good, he'd yell at me. He's got alot of stress right now, understandably. So I waited till we got done eating at applebees about 11 last night and I called him and he said they're prepping her for surgery right now. I was like why didn't you call me????? He said he didn't remember me telling him I'd have my phone on me throughout rehearsal. Poor guy, he's so lost and crazy right now! So I took a shower and then sped the whole way there and got there about 1 a.m. They had already started the anesthesia and the heart was supposed to get there around 1:30. It was me and my dad and two preachers and one of the preacher's wives. My dad had called my brother Matt but he said he wasn't going to come till the morning and told my dad to tell my mom good luck. No. I'm not making that up. But at this point, I don't care.
So I tried to sleep a little and couldn't so I had to pretend to be interested in the preacher's wife's knitting. Bless her heart. Eventually though at a little after 5 the surgeon came out and said, It went beautifully. Immediate tears again. He said the heart was in perfect condition and the surgery went great, all mom's vital signs were great, and even (and this is total TMI) her urine output during surgery was great which was fabulous to hear because it meant already her kidneys were getting more blood and oxygen. Incredible!!
So they moved her into ICU and we waited a loooong time to go see her. Visiting hours are supposed to start at 9 but they were still trying to get her cleaned up and settled. By the time they were ready my SOB brother arrived. He tried to go with my dad first (only 2 people at a time can visit) and my dad was like no way, you shoulda came at 1 in the a.m. like your sister!!! HA!!! So Cyndi is leading the way to my moms room. We get through the double doors to ICU and I see a bunch of nurses, some I recognize and some I don't, some in scrubs and some in regular clothes. When they see me and my dad, I swear it was like we were Brad and Angelina on the red carpet. They start swarming us and saying congratuations and hugging us...and it's immediate tears all over again. As we make our way towards her room we see some of the doctors from her transplant team and they do the same! It was the most wonderful feeling! I felt like they were almost my family, especially the nurses that were assigned to my mom alot, they just seemed to so very genuinely care, not just about my mom but about me and my dad too. More than a few of them had said more than a few times how lucky my mom was to have me and my dad there for her and that we were doing such a great job of supporting her. There were nurses from the 7th floor where my mom had spent alot of time earlier in the year but not recently. They were going on about how glad they were and how much they loved my mom. I was like I know! She's one in a million! When I said that, one of my mom's favorite nurses, Joanna, leaned in to me and said, You know, she really is! So anyway Cyndi finally gets us to my mom's room. She had already told us that my mom would be puffy from necessary transfusions and other stuff. I wasn't really scared to see her, I just was preparing myself for the worst I guess.
Friends, can I tell you. The moment I walked into her room is the best moment of my life so far. I don't know how to explain what I felt but I have to try, it was so amazing! My mom got diagnosed with congestive heart failure (CHF) and cardiomyopathy eleven years ago when I was fourteen. I remember the day. It was my freshmen year, fall semester, and she dropped me off at honor choir auditions at Pottle. Which I made by the way with a 96. I waited probably an hour for her outside when I was done, getting angrier the whole time for her being late, when I see my then best friend's mom drive up. She told me that my dad had asked if she could pick me up, my mom had to go to the hospital. Then of course I felt bad for feeling angry at my mom. I even remember my friends mom had to stop at wal mart so I said cool I'll go get something to eat at mcdonalds and I remember trying to order nuggets and it was still breakfast.
I know I'm kinda rambling...so anyway. Point being. I remember the day this all started. I remember every procedure and surgery she's had, i remember every hospital stay. I remember the terrible things i did as a teen that probably made her condition worse through stress. I remember all the pain she's gone through and that my family has gone through to get to this point. I remember accepting her inevitable passing and trying to think what music should be played at her funeral. But seeing her today in her room made all that sadness and helplessness disappear. The past eleven years have been trying, to say the least, but it was all forgotten today. For the first time in years, her skin was pink. It's been so long since her skin has had even decent circulation. At first I thought she was pale and I was worried but then I realized that she was just a healthy pink instead of a sickly yellow. I looked her up and down, her hands were pink, her legs and feet were pink instead of purple. Then I looked around at all the machines that she was hooked up to and the screen that shows heartbeat and blood pressure was beautiful. The peaks and valleys of her heartbeat was textbook perfect. The top number in her blood pressure was in the 100's instead of the 70's. I looked at her chest and I was humbled by and in awe of the miracle that happened this morning. I've always thought of my mom's heart as this thing that hurts her and makes her weak and steals her from us. I know that sounds a little weird. But looking at her chest and knowing that 'thing' isn't there anymore was the most surreal experience. I just couldn't fathom that she would never have that hurt again. She wouldn't need a wheelchair when we go shopping, she could actually shop with me and try on clothes and shoes!! She'd be able to eat! She could drive again. She could play with her grandchildren instead of sleeping in the chair while they played. All these things that are possible now!!
We aren't out of the woods yet. We still need prayers and vibes, they've gotten us this far and I know they can bring us all the way. She'll be closely monitored of course for any complications and she'll be in the hospital for a long time. But she won't be in any pain anymore. PRAISE GOD!!! My mom, feeling groovy, feeling cool! Coming to choir concerts! Doing mother/daughter stuff with me!! To hell with those other two. Cyndi always calls me the favorite child when I visit, probably because I'm the only one who does. But whatever. My mom has a new heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh yeah, here's another bonus miracle. The heart is just a big muscle, and as with any muscle, if you work it out it gets bigger. That's what happened to my mom's heart. It had to work so hard because of her CHF and other factors that it became enlarged. Anyway, we've all been taught in health or whatever that your heart is about as big as your fist. Pretty small for such a vital organ. Well get this. My dad and I were both curious as to how big her heart had actually gotten so we asked Cyndi. My mom's heart had worked so hard for so many years that it had grown to the size of a dinner plate. No. I'm not making that up.