emotional
Ok... I've always said I don't want to be depressing in these things but I need to vent...
I don't think I've ever felt this way before. It wasn't up until recently I was able to let go of my past...my parents situation..certain relationships... and people. I finally realized there are people I can trust still not many but there are at least some. I realized there is such thing as love. I don't think I experienced crazy mad in love but I know I've experienced love. It was hard to believe it up until recently because if the people you trust the most and have been there your whole life and created you "fall out of love" or just don't love each other any more, it's hard to believe it was there in the first place and that it really exsists because love is supposed to hold things together right?.. what I realized is it doesn't have to be the crazy head over heals love which i always thought it had to be. Love is getting the butterflies when you talk to someone special...it's realizing your smiling so much it hurts while you're on your way home from hanging out with them... it's crying because sometimes it hurts and doesn't work out.. it's crying because they're hurting and you want to help when you can't.. its when you start srying you cant stop... it's being there...it's listening..it's noticing..it's wanting to do things you've never done...it's there when thats all you can think about...it's a drive you can't explain... the only thing is how long does it take to heal... five years like my parents?... then when you think about it, is there anything else that matters? Is that our goal to make families and fall in love or be successful? Are the people who have little money and arent that successful that found the ones they love..smart?..or are the people that reach their goals and fullfill their dreams the smart ones?
What I really want to know is how can you be just friends with someone you want to be more with... or get over a broken heart.
...the other night i went running to see if that would help blow some steam or stop some feeling in my body then i ran past my house and saw my moms boyfriends truck in the driveway and just kept on running...the running i thought helped a little... but when i got back home and in the shower i just started balling and i hate it because when i start crying i feel like I can't stop.
..The thing I hate the most is I know I need to be there for someone right now but how can I help when all I want to do is cry.
...If I didnt believe in love i dont think i would be this upset.
I kind of mixed stories here.... but I know that I can help one person and I'm here whenever they need me and the person knows that. So right now helping them and being there for them is enough for me... I can put my feelings on hold. They've been there for me and they're one of the only people i can really really trust.
I don't think I've ever felt this way before. It wasn't up until recently I was able to let go of my past...my parents situation..certain relationships... and people. I finally realized there are people I can trust still not many but there are at least some. I realized there is such thing as love. I don't think I experienced crazy mad in love but I know I've experienced love. It was hard to believe it up until recently because if the people you trust the most and have been there your whole life and created you "fall out of love" or just don't love each other any more, it's hard to believe it was there in the first place and that it really exsists because love is supposed to hold things together right?.. what I realized is it doesn't have to be the crazy head over heals love which i always thought it had to be. Love is getting the butterflies when you talk to someone special...it's realizing your smiling so much it hurts while you're on your way home from hanging out with them... it's crying because sometimes it hurts and doesn't work out.. it's crying because they're hurting and you want to help when you can't.. its when you start srying you cant stop... it's being there...it's listening..it's noticing..it's wanting to do things you've never done...it's there when thats all you can think about...it's a drive you can't explain... the only thing is how long does it take to heal... five years like my parents?... then when you think about it, is there anything else that matters? Is that our goal to make families and fall in love or be successful? Are the people who have little money and arent that successful that found the ones they love..smart?..or are the people that reach their goals and fullfill their dreams the smart ones?
What I really want to know is how can you be just friends with someone you want to be more with... or get over a broken heart.
...the other night i went running to see if that would help blow some steam or stop some feeling in my body then i ran past my house and saw my moms boyfriends truck in the driveway and just kept on running...the running i thought helped a little... but when i got back home and in the shower i just started balling and i hate it because when i start crying i feel like I can't stop.
..The thing I hate the most is I know I need to be there for someone right now but how can I help when all I want to do is cry.
...If I didnt believe in love i dont think i would be this upset.
I kind of mixed stories here.... but I know that I can help one person and I'm here whenever they need me and the person knows that. So right now helping them and being there for them is enough for me... I can put my feelings on hold. They've been there for me and they're one of the only people i can really really trust.