I haven't made an LJ entry in a bazillion years x eleventy-nine.
Yeah, so kill me. That would be fine.
Derby drama consumes my life lately, it would seem. Having lost approximately half of my league, including a few bitches I will truly miss, the Foxz are looking to the future. I worry and fret about things like sport courts, competition with this new league made of my ex-leaguemates, and how I will wrangle being chair of our PR committee. So much to do, so much to worry about. I wish I knew how to worry less. This is why I self-medicate with drink and poor personal choices.
My new temp job is goodish. Great company to work at, I'm able to while many an hour away just pissing around online and taking care of derby business and communications. Oh, you ask, "What is your problem, you shitty employee, you?" No problem really, my dearests.. just no particular affinity for the kind of work that I do. As long as I get my assigned tasks completed, I feel no particular drive to go above and beyond. It's a decent place to work; I'm hoping to be hired thru the company since being a temp sucks hairy balls, to describe it delicately. I need a music industry job, stat. Kthxbai.
The vacant apartment upstairs is now occupied by an old pal from WRST/UWO. Good times there. He's an artist too.. I'm totally going to meld him into a derby volunteer. Just watch me.
I need to write a paragraph without mentioning roller derby.
Shit with Lee and I rolls on much the same. Static, holding pattern. It's pretty much toast; neither of us just has the money or perhaps the cajones to proceed with the divorce bullshit. Sometimes I miss him tremendously; sometimes I'm glad to not have to deal with all of the fucking responsibility and conflict anymore. Such is life, I suppose. It's weird when I think about how fundamentally happy I was 2 years ago. I thought I knew just where everything was heading, and it was all good. Huh. So much for that.
I can't seem to keep myself out of messes that will fuck with me emotionally. I know they will, I tell myself I'll keep my distance. I make shitty decisions. Also, I make it too easy for those I allow to get close to take advantage of me. Hard exterior to those who don't know me well.. not so much for those who do. Yay, me.
Derby drama consumes my life lately, it would seem. Having lost approximately half of my league, including a few bitches I will truly miss, the Foxz are looking to the future. I worry and fret about things like sport courts, competition with this new league made of my ex-leaguemates, and how I will wrangle being chair of our PR committee. So much to do, so much to worry about. I wish I knew how to worry less. This is why I self-medicate with drink and poor personal choices.
My new temp job is goodish. Great company to work at, I'm able to while many an hour away just pissing around online and taking care of derby business and communications. Oh, you ask, "What is your problem, you shitty employee, you?" No problem really, my dearests.. just no particular affinity for the kind of work that I do. As long as I get my assigned tasks completed, I feel no particular drive to go above and beyond. It's a decent place to work; I'm hoping to be hired thru the company since being a temp sucks hairy balls, to describe it delicately. I need a music industry job, stat. Kthxbai.
The vacant apartment upstairs is now occupied by an old pal from WRST/UWO. Good times there. He's an artist too.. I'm totally going to meld him into a derby volunteer. Just watch me.
I need to write a paragraph without mentioning roller derby.
Shit with Lee and I rolls on much the same. Static, holding pattern. It's pretty much toast; neither of us just has the money or perhaps the cajones to proceed with the divorce bullshit. Sometimes I miss him tremendously; sometimes I'm glad to not have to deal with all of the fucking responsibility and conflict anymore. Such is life, I suppose. It's weird when I think about how fundamentally happy I was 2 years ago. I thought I knew just where everything was heading, and it was all good. Huh. So much for that.
I can't seem to keep myself out of messes that will fuck with me emotionally. I know they will, I tell myself I'll keep my distance. I make shitty decisions. Also, I make it too easy for those I allow to get close to take advantage of me. Hard exterior to those who don't know me well.. not so much for those who do. Yay, me.