White Lies (16/?)
Title: White Lies (16/?)
Author: Cassis Luna
Rating: PG-13 for now
Warnings: ignores DH, EWE, AU, adult themes, profanity
Chapter Word Count: 8940
Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me, it belongs to J.K. Rowling. No money is being made out of this.
Note: I got the idea about the Restoration Potion from the Troyjeinen Potion found here, so that's not mine either.
Summary: Eight year. Draco drinks a potion that makes him know if a person is lying, and Harry, apparently at fault that Draco is this way, is forced to 'help' him throughout the effects of the potion. For the first time, they deal with each other with no lies to hide behind.
Alternate Summary: In which Draco's a Potions experiment gone bad, Hogwarts wants to eat Harry (oh, but does it really?), and everyone thinks they're shagging each other. (Yes, even the house-elves.)
CHAPTER 16
Love
"What the bloody fuck did you do?!" Pansy shrieked, pointing at Neville with one furious finger and looking like she very much wanted to bite his head off.
Neville, on the other hand, looked like he wanted to dig a hole and shove his head down there like an ostrich and never have to deal with the world ever again, because Pansy Parkinson obviously wanted to murder him, Draco Malfoy (Draco Malfoy!) was scrambling to get in his arms with puckered lips, and Blaise Zabini was looking at him wide-eyed and accusing.
Neville wanted to shrivel into a ball.
"I-I don't know-" he gasped out helplessly, still holding Draco away at arms-length. "I swear, I didn't do anythi - Malfoy, stop it!"
And just like that, like a switch turned off, Draco stopped. In fact, he stopped all movement and was looking at Neville, wide-eyed and shocked.
Pansy and Blaise had looked shocked too, at how easily Draco listened, but now they just felt like fainting because Draco's eyes were starting to water and his lower lip was starting to tremble and this was Draco Malfoy!
"You hate me," Draco gasped out despairingly, gazing at Neville with misery.
Pansy's cry was one of horror. "Oh, dear God!" she muttered, frustrated, and got out her wand.
"Stupefy!"
-
Harry wasn't sure about what was going on. He wasn't sure really if eating those mashed potatoes that Ron had been eating was a good idea because he was seeing things, things like - well, like Draco pouncing on Neville and kissing him!
He also saw Pansy Stupefy-ing her best friend, but that shock was for later because all he could think about was Draco and Neville and kiss and ow, Harry wanted to curl into a ball and die.
He stood there shell-shocked, eyes wide and mouth open as Pansy, Blaise and Neville now helped each other to get Draco's unconscious form off the ground.
Behind him, he vaguely registered the doors to the Great Hall opening and Ron and Hermione stepping out, but that was the moment that Pansy finally saw him, eyes widening and hands dropping from Draco's arm and shoulder. Consequently, Neville and Blaise were taken by surprise at the sudden weight and they ended up dropping Draco on the floor.
Hermione and Ron stared, frozen and not very sure about what they were seeing, and Pansy shrieked once more in fury as the finger that had once pointed to Neville now pointed at Harry, demanding.
In retrospect, of course Harry didn’t do anything wrong other than stand there and gape, but Draco’s real love was Harry and that was enough reason for Pansy, who just really needed to yell at someone, to scream:
"Harry fucking Potter, get your bloody ass here right now!”
-
"Longbottom -" Pansy wheezed, as she willed her arm and wand to stay outstretched despite the painful strain at having done so for the past ten minutes. She forced herself to, anyway, because it felt like she was the only one capable of casting a good Hovering Charm among Neville, Ron and Harry.
Blaise and Hermione stood at the side, continuously casting Disillusionment Spells, because they were the only ones who knew how to do decent ones.
As for Hovering Spells, it was a fairly basic spell taught since first year, when they first started out with feathers, and although they’ve gone a long way from levitating almost weightless objects, the dead-weight of an unconscious 18-year-old boy was quite another thing.
Pansy already knew that Neville would suck in regards to the Hovering Spell, so she hadn't really expected much. She didn't really expect anything out of Weasley either, mainly out of Slytherin obligation rather than anything else, but Harry, well, she knew from their little stay in the chambers of the Philosopher's Stone that the boy knew his Hovering Charms, but right now, well, he was just -
Awful.
He looked awful as well, like he was about to be sick.
So, despite the fact that there were four people casting Hovering Charms on Draco, Pansy bore the brunt. Men, she thought angrily. Outwardly, she hissed, "What the hell -" She took a big gulp of air. "- did you do?!"
"Nothing!" Neville squeaked, dropping his arm in surprise and consequently putting down his wand as well.
Pansy hissed once more as more weight was added on her. Ron almost stumbled over his own two feet, and Harry just turned paler.
The four of them made some kind of diamond, with Draco hovering in the middle, sleeping peacefully and blissfully that Pansy had half a mind to Rennervate him then Stupefy him again just for the pleasure of it. On both sides of the diamond were Blaise and Hermione, periodically casting Disillusionment Spells as they walked nearer and nearer to the Hospital Wing.
"Your wand, mate -" Ron hissed with great effort.
Neville scrambled for his wand again.
"I don't think Neville did anything," Hermione said thoughtfully, ever the voice of reason. She glanced at Harry out of the corner of her eye, continuing her speech distractedly. "Maybe he didn't know what was inside that flask."
"I think so too," Blaise acquiesced, mumbling. He raised his eyes to look at Neville, who merely turned redder.
"I-Greengrass said it was water-"
This time, it was Pansy's arm's turn to drop.
Ron squeaked out something about Merlin's balls.
"Greengrass?!" she growled, eyes narrowing into slits.
She was really looking murderous now, though Neville was glad that the intent wasn't focused on him anymore. Still, Greengrass was currently unavailable to look angrily at, so he wasn't saved from that. In his panic, his wand arm dropped as he hastily tried to explain himself even as they continued walking down the corridor.
"This morning, while I was working at the Greenhouse, she - err, she came by and gave me the flask-" he rambled on, looking miserable.
"What did she say?" Pansy demanded.
Neville jumped. "That she liked what we were doing with the Greenhouse Project-"
"Oh, does she now?" Blaise muttered to himself through gritted teeth, thinking of a dozen new hexes that he wanted to test out.
Neville turned pale, but he continued on. "And that I must be tired, so she - she gave me the flask, but I was so busy with what I was doing that I forgot about it and just kept it with me. I - I really thought it was water -"
"Breathe, Neville," Blaise finally said, sighing. He looked much more relaxed than a few moments ago. "We know you didn't do anything. What was inside that flask was Amortentia. Greengrass has been trying to give it to you for weeks."
Now, Neville's face wasn't sure what color it should turn to; his blood was quite undecided whether it should go up to his face or drain from it. It had gone up when he realized that Blaise had just called him by his first name, but it went away quite suddenly when he realized that what he had just given Draco was the most powerful love-potion that ever existed. Even more so when it registered that Greengrass had given Amortentia to him, probably to humiliate him in public.
"I'm sorry," he said instead, wretchedly.
"I'll fucking kill her," Pansy fumed.
Blaise nodded in enthusiastic agreement. Hermione was only listening with one ear though, because she was mainly focused on Harry, who wasn't listening with any of his ears at all and was looking quite pale and as miserable as Neville, though that could be because he was still holding his wand out, trying to keep Draco hovering with only Ron for help.
And Ron wheezed some more and glared at them all. "If nobody casts another Hovering Charm, I swear I'll throw this ferret out the bloody window."
-
Ten Hovering Charms and seven Disillusionment Charms later, they finally reached the Hospital Wing and managed to safely deposit Draco on his bed. Madame Pomfrey was back at the Great Hall, still finishing her dinner, so they had no problems occupying the other beds, exhausted from all those spellwork they did. (Ron had actually sprawled on the ground mere seconds after Draco landed on his bed, and he would have happily stayed there too if it wasn't for Hermione.)
"Alright," Blaise said, looking at Draco's sleeping form and thinking of the blond's impending dramatic and horrified outburst. "What do we do?"
Pansy jumped off her bed and brandished her wand. "I'll take care of Greengrass."
"I meant about Draco!"
Draco, as if hearing his name, began to stir slightly awake.
Everyone shared alarmed looks.
"Stupefy him again!" Blaise said hurriedly, knowing that Draco wouldn't be happy about it. Draco also wouldn't be happy to know that he had acted like a lovesick puppy towards Neville either, so they were going with the lesser of the two evils.
"I can't!" Pansy replied, panicking as well. "I hit him a strong one earlier and he might be seriously hurt if I Stun him again."
"Well, I don't know - Cast Incarcerous or something!"
Pansy fumbled with her wand, rushing, but Draco was already awake and blinking blearily at them and smiling dreamily and really, Ron was enjoying this.
Then Draco caught sight of Neville and beamed, really beamed, like a fairy light turned on and he got off his bed as if he hadn't just been given a very strong Stun that left him unconscious through all the hovering he was made to do from the Great Hall to the Hospital Wing. "Neville!" he exclaimed happily, crossing the room and jumping onto Neville's bed.
Neville looked like he was about to be attacked by wild hippogriff as he scrambled back against the headboard, knees drawn to his chest. "Uhm, Malfoy, see here -"
But Draco was lunging forward again, trying to kiss him and Neville hastily grabbed his shoulders and tried to keep him away. His arms already hurt from having Hovered Draco earlier, but he would tolerate the pain if it meant keeping the blond from invading his personal space.
Ron turned away, but one could see his shoulders shaking. Hermione kicked him in the shin.
Blaise and Pansy watched on helplessly, fingers pressing at their temple.
Then an idea hit Blaise like a brick.
"The antidote - Professor Snape -"
"I'll get it," Harry said, jumping off his bed. He kept his eyes firmly away from Draco and Neville, and tried to keep his hands from shaking. He felt jittery. "I'll be right back," he said and quickly exited the Hospital Wing.
"Harry, you can't - !" Hermione exclaimed in alarm, but it was too late. The door to the infirmary had already closed behind Harry.
Her attention was diverted away from the doors though, because Neville had just let out a loud cry of despair. Draco was frozen on top of Neville, his face scrunched up in great concentration as he stared at the doors which Harry had just exited.
Then, just as abruptly as that happened, the dreamy smile returned and he went back to scrambling in for a kiss.
-
Harry knew now that Draco was under the effects of Amortentia (how Greengrass got a hold of that, he had no idea) but when he saw Draco kiss Neville, he had thought it was real and he still couldn't quite get the shock out of his system.
He knew this wasn't the time to wallow in self-pity at his unrequited love though, because Draco needed his help and - well, he knew that being more than friends would be impossible at the very beginning anyway.
After all, it was such a far-fetched idea. As if Draco would even consider that.
He ran down the corridor and down the stairs until he reached the Entrance Hall. Quickly deciding, he turned left to go down the dungeons rather than right to the Great Hall. Dinnertime still wasn't over, but students were piling out the Great Hall now and Harry knew that Snape ate fast.
(There were also other teachers out of the Great Hall now, littered around the Entrance Hall like the students as well. Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow at him as he passed with a rushed greeting and Professor Bridgewood still Not Looked at him.)
The cold air of the dungeons greeted him, chilling his already cold hands. The Potions classroom was nearer than Snape's office so Harry made a beeline for that first. By the time he reached his destination, he was panting and shivering slightly with cold sweat. He didn't even bother to knock.
Relief shot through him like an arrow when he saw Snape behind his desk, grading papers and religiously writing Dreadfuls and obligatory scathing remarks on all of them. (Alright, not all…)
Snape raised an eyebrow at him. "Potter," he said, letting his displeasure at having been interrupted seep through. That, and he still felt rather disgruntled at his discovery during his class with the eighth year Gryffindors and Slytherins earlier, when Harry drank the love potion. He certainly didn't need Potter in front of him right now. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
Seven years of Snape's sarcasm rendered you immune, Harry supposed, so he had no problems entering the classroom and walking straight up to Snape's desk. "Professor, do you have the antidote for Amortentia? Draco drank it and now he's been trying to kiss Neville because Greengrass gave it to Neville who gave it to Draco and we've brought him to the Hospital Wing-" he rambled on, only shutting up when he chanced a glance at Snape's face and saw the dark, furious expression he saw there that made him take a step back a bit.
When Snape spoke, it was with barely restrained rage. "Potter, are you telling me that Draco drank Amortentia? And now he's in the Hospital Wing, spewing love anecdotes for Longbottom?"
Well, Harry didn't say anything about love anecdotes, but he found that he didn't quite want to contradict Snape right now. He nodded meekly.
Snape stood up from his desk abruptly, making it rattle. He crossed the room and yanked his Potions cabinet open, muttering curses under his breath. "Detentions for each and every one of you -" he muttered furiously.
He took the antidote, two Blood-Replenishing Potions and two belladonna tinctures. Then, he thought better of it and grabbed another Blood-Replenishing Potion just in case.
His hand shook as he did so, his mouth a grim line as he thought about all the dangerous effects the Amortentia could have on Draco. Ashwinder eggs, he thought with gritted teeth.
"Potter!" he snapped, turning around abruptly and sending his cloak billowing behind him. He strode up to Harry and shoved the bottles in the boy's arms. "Carry that and don't drop anything," he hissed, before turning around once more and out the door towards the Hospital Wing.
"Could've just shrunk them," Harry muttered, but rushed out of the classroom as well-
And bumped into Ron.
"Careful!" Harry exclaimed, balancing the bottles in his arms.
"Sorry!" Ron said quickly.
Harry glanced beside him and saw that Snape was still furiously stomping his way down the corridor. Ron followed his gaze and snorted.
"What's got his knickers in a bunch, huh?"
Harry turned to stare at him.
Ron shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry. Bumped into Morgan. He was still talking about knickers."
Harry rolled his eyes. "Come on. Let's hurry up. Help me carry these, will you?"
Ron took some of the bottles in his hands and they hurried after Snape.
"Hermione sent me after you," Ron said a while later through pants, as they walked up the stairs to the second floor. "You're not supposed to go out alone, Harry."
"Sorry," Harry said out of reflex rather than anything else, because he wasn't really sorry that he had rushed out of the Hospital Wing like that. He had really, really needed to get out of there.
He could feel the annoyance at being so heavily guarded again prickle the back of his neck, but he pushed that back down because he knew that his friends were only trying to help.
Still, it made Harry feel like it was fifth year all over again…
-
"Harry, help me!" Neville mouthed despairingly as soon as Harry entered. He was still backed up against the headboard of the bed, but this time his knees weren't drawn up to his chest anymore because Draco was beside him, snuggling against him with a satisfied and happy expression on his face.
Harry looked away, because while he was drawn to Draco's peaceful expression, he didn't think he could take his heart beating so harshly yet.
On other beds, Blaise, Pansy and Hermione sat, all panting from exhaustion at having tried to pry Draco away from Neville.
"Last I checked, he wasn't this strong," Blaise muttered, scowling darkly.
"Power of love," Pansy gasped out.
In their defense, the three of them didn't really give much force; they were afraid to hurt Draco.
Snape found them like that and it was all he could do not to turn back and walk out the door again.
"Oh, this is ridiculous!" Hermione exclaimed. "Neville, just sweet-talk Draco into staying still!"
Neville turned panicked-eyes on her. "I don't know how to sweet-talk!"
"Pretend it's someone you really like!" Hermione persisted, remembering their class in Potions earlier and how nothing happened to Neville when Blaise gave him the love potion.
Neville opened his mouth to refuse but Snape cut in, looking menacing and dangerous. "Do it, Longbottom!" he ordered.
Blaise then did Not Look at Neville because he did not like the idea of Neville liking someone.
Neville squeaked at Snape and shook his head wildly. "I can't even talk to the person I like without stuttering so I can't do that -" he said, face burning fiercely.
Pansy stomped over to him and said dangerously, "Do it, Longbottom, or I swear I'll Furnunculus you every day for the rest of the year -"
"Pansy!" Hermione yelled with a glare as Neville squeaked.
Harry supposed that he really should find some humor in all of this (Ron was certainly helping himself.), if all he could feel so far was this numb, hollow feeling. Shake out of it, Harry, he thought furiously. This isn't about you.
"Neville, we just need you to ask him to drink, uhm, some medicine," he said, quickly changing his words when he saw that Draco was looking at him with a weird expression. He didn't know what Draco would think and how he would react if he had said 'antidote'.
Neville paled, but he nodded and took a deep breath. "Mal-" he cringed, and he actually looked quite a bit green there. "Draco."
Draco turned away from Harry to look at Neville, all smiles once more.
"Professor Snape's just going to give you some potions, so, uhm, would you?" Neville asked, voice squeaking. "For me?"
Oh, Merlin, Ron couldn't take it. He quickly strode over to the nearest bed, knelt before it and shoved his face against the mattress because he couldn't help it. His shoulders shook from restrained mirth.
Hermione rolled her eyes at her boyfriend.
"Alright," Draco replied happily. "For you."
"Potter!" Snape snapped. "Give it to him."
Harry nodded dumbly and hurried towards Neville and Draco.
"Harry, you do know which one's the antidote, right?" Pansy asked skeptically, eyeing the similarly sized bottles in his hands.
"Antidote?" Draco said, blinking.
And all eyes turned to glare at Pansy, who quickly slapped a hand on her mouth and turned pink.
"Antidote?" Draco asked again, frowning. He turned to Neville. "They're trying to take me away from you," he said accusingly.
Neville quickly shook his head. "No, no, they're only trying to help. I promise, Mal - Draco, they're not going to do anything-"
"Well, I'm not drinking it," Draco announced stubbornly, glaring at the bottle that Harry held out.
Snape rubbed his temples and, for the first time ever, regretted that he ever made Draco into the Potions genius he was today.
"Please, Draco-"
"No!"
"You don't really like me," Neville said helplessly, already at the end of his rope.
Draco turned to him, eyes wide and disbelieving. "How can you say that?"
"You're in love with Harry!" Neville blurted out.
And everyone in the room unconsciously held their breath. Pansy and Blaise kept their eyes on Draco, wanting to see what effect this would have on him, but Hermione and Ron slid their eyes to Harry, worried.
Harry wanted to die, and he wanted to say 'that's not true, Neville' because Draco was only joking with the illegal affair thing and it wasn’t true and Draco could never possibly be in love with Harry.
"Harry?" Draco asked, eyebrows furrowing as he looked at Harry. His face scrunched up in great concentration, as if he was thinking something but couldn't quite grasp it definitively. He turned to Neville, nose scrunched up in confusion. "Why would I be in love with Potter?"
And Harry slowly fell apart.
Why, indeed.
"Draco," Snape's voice cut through the tension like a knife. He took the antidote from Harry's hands, keeping his eyes away dutifully from Harry's face. He walked towards Draco, back straight and face forming into his most stern expression. "Would I give you something that would harm you?"
Draco's expression was pouty as he regarded his godfather with calculating eyes. Then, he shook his head. "No," he muttered, taking the antidote from Snape's outstretched hand.
He gave Neville one last longing glance, before downing the antidote.
Everyone held their breath.
"Potter," Snape said, turning to Harry. "A word," he whispered, before walking towards the door and out the infirmary.
Harry waited only to see Draco's confused expression turn into one of horrified realization before he walked out the door as well, leaving the room with a furiously beating heart.
-
"You do know what's going to happen now that Draco's taken in Amortentia," Snape said as soon as the door closed behind Harry. He wasn't going to beat around the bush.
Still shaken up, Harry could only nod dumbly.
Snape eyed the remaining two bottles that Harry was carrying. "You have the belladonna tinctures, and I assume that Weasley has the Blood-Replenishing Potions?"
Again, Harry nodded.
"Give Draco one of the belladonna later. If Draco's little coughing fit happens again, do not try to stop him from vomiting. He needs to get it out of his system, but be ready with Blood-Replenishing Potion. Are you listening to me, Potter?" Snape sneered.
"Yes, Professor," Harry said firmly.
Snape stared down at him, his mouth a thin line. Then, when he seemed to be satisfied enough, he nodded. "I'll inform Madame Pomfrey. And Potter?"
“Yes, Professor?”
"Detention for all of you tomorrow night," he said with a sneer, before turning away abruptly, his cloak billowing behind him as he continued his furious muttering. "Now excuse me while I go Obliviate myself."
Harry, in his confused and lovesick state, was starting to think that detention was Snape's way of showing affection.
-
When Harry reentered the Hospital Wing, Neville was still in the same bed as earlier, as well as Pansy, Hermione and Blaise. Ron was now sitting on the bed where he had just shoved his face onto earlier, but the only one who had changed places was Draco, who was now currently on his own bed, very far away from Neville. He sat there arms-crossed, eyebrow twitching and with a petulant expression on his face.
Harry could stop being miserable long enough to at least find this amusing.
"Well," Pansy said loudly, blowing sweaty bangs away from her forehead. She glanced around the room, where everyone was all sitting quietly in their respective places. "This is awkward."
Blaise glared at her sullenly. Neville buried his face in his knees, moaning pitifully at his misfortune, and Hermione merely sighed in exasperation at all of them.
Ron looked smug.
Draco followed Neville's suit, Not Looked at Harry, and groaned mournfully as he buried his burning face in his knees. "I'm going to fucking kill Greengrass," he muttered.
-
Draco remembered everything. He remembered every eternally scarring thing that he did and every eternally mortifying thing that had stupidly come out of his mouth. He was seriously considering washing his mouth with soap and maybe even Obliviating everyone who was involved when they weren't looking.
Including himself.
And Harry.
Definitely Harry.
Draco couldn't even bring himself to look at Harry yet - which was worse now, because Madame Pomfrey had finally arrived in the Hospital Wing and had shooed everyone else out since curfew was just one more hour away. She had raised an eyebrow at Draco that told him that Snape had talked to her already, before retreating to her room with a reminder that if anything happened, she was just a call away.
After that, she left them alone.
Alone.
With Harry.
Whom - for the first time ever - he didn't really want to be alone with.
He had half a mind to call Madame Pomfrey and pretend to have an epileptic seizure just so that he didn't have to deal with talking to Harry. He couldn't very well pretend that nothing happened and go 'so, how's your day going, Harry?'.
Maybe he just shouldn't say anything at all. Would Harry consider that rude? Well, of course that would be considered rude, but Draco didn't know what to say.
I'm going to fucking kill Greengrass was a good one, but that was already overused and besides, everyone already knew that he was going to hex Greengrass come morning. He might even let Neville get in a hex or two, since the boy was a victim as well in this whole scenario.
Not that Draco cared much about Neville. Or Blaise. (Because in his mind, where Neville was considered, Blaise was as well.)
Well, he did, sort of, since he did have a human conscience after all, but they weren't nearly as important as Harry.
Maybe he shouldn't say anything at all.
Maybe Harry would take pity on him and leave him alone and go to sleep and Draco could wallow in his embarrassment and humiliation in peace.
"Draco?"
Draco groaned pitifully before he could help himself.
"Oh - uhm - sorry -"
Draco immediately raised his head to tell Harry that he shouldn't apologize and cringed at the hurt look on the other's face. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that," he said, sighing heavily. He could feel his face flushing again at the memory of being under Amortentia but he kept his eyes firmly glued on Harry, mainly because if he took them away, he probably wouldn't be able to look at Harry again.
"No one thinks less of you, you know," Harry said, smiling in what he hoped was comforting. Draco was not comforted, despite the fact that the light around Harry shone gold. "You were under the effects of a love potion. I mean, we just did that earlier in Potions class earlier."
"Yes, well," Draco muttered dryly, still despairing. "It's quite different when you've got six other people sympathizing with you compared to being the only one throwing your dignity away."
Harry flushed at that.
"And I'm sure the Weasel had his fun," Draco continued sulkily.
"Is that what you're worried about? Ron?" Harry asked, chuckling. "He doesn't think less of you exactly. He'll probably warm up to you more, now that he's seen that you can be human too," he said with a grin.
Draco did not know why he felt better about that, as if it mattered what Harry's friends thought of him.
"Anyway, Snape said you needed to take this." Harry crossed the room to stop beside Draco's bed and hand him the bottle of belladonna.
Draco's face scrunched up in confusion. "But I had my little coughing episode earlier and I took one already."
Harry's eyes widened. "You had… earlier?"
Draco nodded and was happily pleased at the concern that was evident on Harry's face. "That was the reason why Neville gave me that flask of Amortentia. I had a fit, and he gave it to me because he thought it was water."
"I'm sorry," Harry said, looking guilty. "I wasn't there."
Draco rolled his eyes. "Don't worry your pretty little head over it, Harry. You're not exactly obligated to keep an eye on me all the time. And it wasn't your fault."
Harry nodded, shrugging awkwardly. He motioned to the belladonna with his hand. "You should still drink another one."
Draco looked at Harry for a moment, noticing the way that Harry was looking at him but not meeting his eyes. It was like the Gryffindor wanted to look at something, anything, other than Draco's eyes. Draco raised an eyebrow. "Alright," he said smoothly, before unstopping the tincture.
Harry smiled at him weakly, before turning around and heading for his own bed.
-
It would have to go away eventually, Harry figured. Draco obviously didn't harbor any feelings for him other than friendship, so maybe with that knowledge, Harry's heart would stop beating so stupidly fast whenever the blond would jokingly flirt with him because that was all it was. A joke.
Harry took off his school cloak, strategically keeping his back to Draco. He went to his trunk, rummaging for some clean sleeping clothes as he thought about how horribly tiring this day had been. He had realized his feelings for what they really were and, in a short span of twelve hours, had the chance of them being reciprocated crushed quite brutally.
This would have been almost funny, if Harry thought about it in a third person point of view.
Still, this wasn't the time to be wallowing in self-pity, Harry quickly reminded himself. He should be more concerned with Draco, who was still obviously dealing with the trauma of being under the world's strongest love potion that contained eggs from Ashwinders.
Just like that, Harry felt his melancholy drain away only to be replaced by an urgent worry of what might happen to Draco. Snape did give him an extra dose of belladonna, but Harry still hoped that the Ashwinder eggs didn't do any more damage to Draco's already - well, flammable state.
"Draco -" he said, at the same time that Draco turned to him and said:
"Harry."
Both of them paused awkwardly, blinking at each other.
Draco, always the commanding one, shrugged and motioned for Harry to speak with his hand. "Well, go on."
Harry gave a start. "Uhm, right, Draco," he let out, feeling inexplicably lame. He peered at the blond closely, worriedly. "Are you sure you're okay? No funny feeling at the bottom of your stomach? I mean, you did take in a love potion and Snape says that it might be dangerous, and err, well -" he rambled on, but Draco pretty much lost him because he was thinking with a snort that he wasn't feeling anything funny at the bottom of his stomach other than the butterflies because Harry was worried about him. Then along with the butterflies, there was also that heavy sinking feeling that had something to do with what he was about to say earlier.
Harry, seeing that Draco was merely staring at him with a raised eyebrow, flushed and swerved his rambling. "Sorry, err, if you think I'm being too nosy. I guess I'm just -" he cringed at what he was about to say. "- worried because of what Snape said and I don't want you to suddenly, uhm…"
Then Draco's face changed and he continued to stare at Harry, only this time he was really staring, eyes opened wide as Harry's words and the seemingly too bright gold light surrounding him comprehended in Draco's brain and Draco felt… a sudden onslaught of affection for this person in front of him.
Why did Draco have to embarrass himself earlier while under the effects of the Amortentia, but oh, if it got him this…
"Sod it, Potter," Draco said coolly, because having Hufflepuff thoughts didn't mean was about to start acting like one, but he simply could not resist the soft, adoring smile that lit up his face. "I get it. I drank the belladonna, so don't worry about it."
Harry was taken aback by Draco's smile, and couldn't help the flush that overcame his face. When Draco finished speaking though, a skeptical look crossed his expression.
Draco rolled his eyes, amused now. "No funny feeling at the pit of my stomach either."
Except the butterflies, he mentally added. Even the heavy feeling was gone now.
Harry paused, looking at him, before nodding, seemingly satisfied. "Alright. What did you want to say earlier?"
Oh. Draco blinked, before shrugging nonchalantly. "Never mind." He had been thinking about what Harry said, that no one thought less of him even though they saw him under Amortentia, but then Harry wouldn't even look at him straight in the eyes earlier, so he thought that Harry obviously found it weird and awkward and maybe even disgusting but now…
Draco found himself smiling softly, feeling nothing but affection for the boy in front of him. "It's nothing."
Whipped, Draco, a Pansy-like voice snorted in his head. Whipped.
It really was cruel that Harry didn't feel the same way he did and it seemed like he never would.
-
They both changed in their pyjamas and got ready for bed, murmuring their goodnights as the respective exhaustion of their day caught up to them.
Harry didn’t dream about gigantic chess pieces, but Draco was still there. Even though Harry didn't want him to be, Draco stood in the middle of a vast darkness, always with his back to Harry who called to him but never reached him. Then in the deafening silence of the dark, Harry heard crying, a little boy's frightened whimpers that sounded loathingly familiar because he realized, with his blood running cold, that they were his and he was looking down at the eight-year-old boy in the cupboard, crying and huddled at the edge of the dirty mattress that Uncle Vernon had forcibly squeezed in. But - but no, it wasn't him anymore, that boy wasn't him, and the cupboard disappeared with a wisp of cold, frigid air but the boy was still there.
Tom Riddle was still there.
And those young eyes of his looked at Harry piercingly, accusingly, like it was Harry's fault that he grew up to be the madman that everyone grew to fear, until those eyes turned hollow, the pupils turned red and the skin turned green and ashen, and Lord Voldemort stood in front of Harry, gleeful and triumphant.
A manic laughter filled the darkness, followed by a piercing scream and Harry realized, with blood rushing in his ears and his heart beating too loud, that the scream came from Draco, who fell to the floor with a sickening thud, thrashing and screaming as if under the Cruciatus Curse, and Voldemort loomed over Harry, smug and mocking.
"You'll be just like me, Harry."
It was a whisper that caressed his skin as Voldemort murmured it beside his cheek.
"You'll never know love."
Then, his murmur turned into a harsh hiss.
"You don't deserve it."
And Draco continued on thrashing, sobbing on the floor as Voldemort pointed his wand at him, the Elder Wand -
"He'll never love you."
The wand was pointed at him now, and he couldn't move, frozen to the spot as Draco's screams filled his ears and his head and his heart was thumping so hard it hurt and Voldemort stepped in front of him, a sadistic little smile on his face as his lips formed the words and green light dove straight for Harry.
"AVADA -"
"HARRY!"
-
Harry woke up with a start, eyes wide and unseeing as his chest heaved in longing for air. His body was stiff on the bed and Harry had to force his fingers to untangle themselves from the sheets because his knuckles were hurting and someone was shaking him and that hurt too.
"Harry!"
Harry started again, his nerves making him jumpy as he registered that it was Draco who was shaking him, but Harry couldn't see his face very well because he didn't have his glasses on and the Hospital Wing was dark and all he could see was green.
"Glasses -" he gasped out, because he needed it and so that Draco would stop shaking him.
Draco did indeed stop, pulling back as if surprised. "You're awake now? Really awake?" he asked shakily, reaching over Harry to grab the boy's glasses on his bedside table.
When Draco gave it to him, Harry vaguely realized that Draco was shaking as well. He sat up, put his glasses on, and realized that he'd been crying.
He flushed as embarrassment washed over him, but that lessened when Draco didn't say anything and leaned forward to gently wipe the tear tracks on Harry's face with his thumbs.
Harry relaxed, eyes closing. "I am," he let out, but that kind of hurt too, and he coughed and swallowed heavily to clear his throat. "Sorry, was I -"
"You were screaming," Draco cut in somberly. He sat on the edge of Harry's bed, grabbing Harry's hands and holding them firmly. "I thought Madame Pomfrey might've run out of her room."
Harry realized just how cold his fingers felt, and then he noticed that Draco's were too. Nevertheless, Draco rubbed Harry's hands with his to get them warm and to stop them from shaking.
"Sorry, I used to do Silencing Spells every night back at the dorms, but I keep on forgetting here -" Harry said, but cut himself off when Draco shook his head.
"No Silencing Spells," Draco said firmly.
Harry looked at him, surprised. He stared for a moment, before a small, tired smile came over his lips and he leaned against the headboard of his bed heavily. "Okay."
"Were you…" Draco started, looking awkward and conscious, but he tried again anyway, eyes looking straight at Harry's. "Was it about me again?" he asked softly.
Harry stiffened, feeling oddly exposed and embarrassed as well, and also because he could still remember the dream and how Draco had cried and sobbed under Voldemort's wand. "Yes."
Draco looked unsure. "The chess pieces again?"
Harry didn't want to talk about his real dream, and he was tired, so it was almost by reflex that he said, "Yeah."
And Draco frowned because the gold light around Harry (dimmed, because of the darkness of the infirmary, but it was still gold nonetheless and still shimmering) turned abruptly black. "So it's not about the chess pieces."
Harry looked at him, confused, because didn’t he just say-
Then realization dawned on him and he remembered that right, oh, shite, Draco could tell if he was lying. He shook his head slightly to clear it. "I don't want to talk about it," he said instead, feeling the slight prickle of annoyance.
Gold.
Draco turned his attention to Harry's hands, noting with satisfaction that they were starting to become warm now. "It might help," he murmured softly, because he knew about nightmares too. "To, you know, let it out."
Harry let out a breath, frustrated. "I said I don't want to talk about it!" he said irritably.
Draco pulled back, surprised. He withdrew his hands as well, looking hurt. "Alright, Potter, no need to be feisty about it."
Harry immediately felt guilty and ashamed.
When Draco moved to get off the bed, Harry's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, fingers pressing gently as if they were unsure if it was alright to be doing so.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just -" he started, inhaling deeply and exhaling. He blinked at Draco, surprised that his eyes were becoming moist again. "I don't want to remember, so," he shrugged awkwardly. "Please don't go," he blurted out, and it was humiliating how the tears fell from his eyes because he could still remember the dream and what Voldemort said.
Draco was beside him in an instant though and that made him feel a little bit better.
Draco was shocked at the rare vulnerability that Harry was showing him and his heart clenched painfully as he once again used his thumbs to wipe Harry's face free from tears. "That's alright," he whispered softly, feeling awkward but wanting nothing more than to comfort the boy in front of him. "You don't have to tell me," he said, but it didn't matter because Harry was saying something as well.
"Riddle was there too," Harry whispered, the boy's angelic face still haunting him. "He told me -" he broke off, remembering how eight-year-old Harry became Tom Riddle in his dream.
"What did he tell you?" Draco asked, throwing the blankets aside so that he could sit next to Harry, his back also resting on the headboard. He curled an arm around Harry's waist while his other hand sought one of Harry's, mainly because he wanted to do so but also because he had no idea how to comfort someone and thought that maybe Harry would appreciate it.
Whether Harry did or didn't, he didn't say but his hand automatically clenched around Draco's, even seeming as if unconsciously.
"That I'll be just like him," Harry muttered, and his voice sounded hollow even to his own ears. "That I'll never know love. I don't deserve it. That you'll never -"
He froze.
Draco froze too.
Because he could have sworn that the next words that Harry was about to say was ’love’ and that opened up all possibilities and hopes that he had long since trampled on and thrown away.
Harry's horror-stricken face told him that he was right.
It also told him that Harry knew that Draco had found out what he was about to say as well.
Harry's body had stiffened in apprehension, mortified at what he been so close to saying, but he tried to pretend that he hadn't been anyway, and finished lamely. "- really be friends with me."
It was a pitiful attempt, he knew, because he was probably (no, definitely) covered in black light now but he wished desperately that Draco would get the hint anyway and not say anything about it.
Harry's lie made Draco's hopes soar higher and his remaining doubts disappear, so he pulled up his courage from whatever deep, deep vault he had in his chest because if he wasn't going to do this now, then he was never going to.
"Harry -" he started, breathless and hopeful, but then Harry turned fearful and anxious eyes on him that Draco's heart clenched painfully because how could Harry think that Draco was going to turn him away?
"Harry," he tried again, twisting his upper body so that he could face Harry and make him face him since Harry had turned his eyes away now, looking awkwardly at the blanket on his lap. Gently, Draco raised his hands to cup Harry's face, ignoring the way that Harry jumped a bit when their skin made contact.
Draco couldn't resist. He rested his forehead against Harry's, murmuring with a crazily happy sort of laugh. "Riddle doesn't know a thing."
Harry didn't say anything, too confused by what was happening and why Draco was touching him like this.
"You'll never be like him," Draco whispered fiercely, eyes bright as they stared into green ones. "You're compassionate and loving and friendly and everybody likes you and you touch everybody you meet, Harry, you don't even know, and you have this stupid little way of putting others before yourself that it's very frustrating sometimes because I really like you better when you're not horribly injured or losing a bone or two or near-death, and you'll never be anything like Riddle."
Harry gaped at Draco, eyes wide and mouth open as a red flush crept over his cheeks, to his ears and down his neck at Draco's words.
Draco's lips quirked up in amusement as he pulled back just a little bit, taking his hands with him. "And there's no such thing as not deserving love." He raised an eyebrow at Harry. "I mean," he continued softly. "You're the one who taught me that, remember? When you accepted me in Grimmauld Place even though I'm a Death Eater -"
He said the title with thinly-veiled disgust and bitterness that Harry couldn't help but raise his hands as well and grab hold of Draco's wrists to get his attention.
"Was," Harry muttered, face burning. "And you didn't have a choice."
Draco smiled at him, a little sadly. He finished his sentence. "- and I deserve less than you."
Harry frowned deeply at Draco. "There's no such thing -"
"Exactly," Draco cut in, grinning wildly.
Harry was embarrassed at how he'd been played, but Draco was speaking again, this time more slowly, as if he was hesitant to continue.
"And as for the last thing that Riddle said…"
Harry froze again. He blinked at Draco, trying to pulling away but Draco kept him there firmly by the shoulders.
Harry could feel the panic set in, because couldn't Draco just forget about all this? Whatever Draco wanted to say to him, he really didn't want to hear it -
"I've been in love with you since first year, Harry."
Harry stared at him dumbly.
He needed to clean his ears if he was going to start hearing love confessions from Draco Malfoy now, or maybe he was still dreaming, maybe Voldemort was still torturing him in his dream…
The silence grew longer as Harry continued to stare, and Draco was starting to panic now as all his doubts came rushing back to him.
"I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear, but -" he rushed out, but he cut himself, because he wasn't sorry for being in love with Harry. He continued, slowly and softly this time. "I mean it."
"B-but you said," Harry started, disoriented and blinking wildly. "You told Neville, earlier -"
It took Draco a while to remember what he said, but when he did, his face burned as he recalled his Amortentia-induced words and actions.
"Why would I be in love with Potter?"
"I was under Amortentia!" Draco muttered defensively, thinking of the heavy pull that the love potion gave him during that situation. "I'm in love with you, but the potion kept telling me that I was supposed to be in love with Longbottom."
Draco had never felt so utterly bare and vulnerable before, and it was embarrassing saying that the things that he was saying but the words were tumbling out of his lips before he could stop them.
Harry still wasn't convinced. "But you hate me!" he blurted out helplessly.
Draco's eyebrows furrowed as he looked at Harry disbelievingly. "You still think that, after all the -"
"I mean, back in first year, and…" Harry trailed off, flushing as Draco's words resounded in his head again even though they couldn't possibly be true. There was just no way. He didn't even need Draco's ability to see that gold or black light. This was just cruel but -
But Harry wanted to believe it was true anyway.
"I wasn't supposed to be in love with you, Harry!" Draco replied stubbornly, his defense mechanism kicking in. "I mean, imagine Lucius Malfoy's son, having a crush on the Dark Lord's greatest enemy! When you refused my hand in first year, Harry, that -" he cut himself off abruptly, blinking rapidly because his eyes felt moist and he did not like talking about the handshake incident. "I tried to stop," he muttered instead, face burning. "But then it got worse and I ended up falling in love of all things."
He felt vulnerable and scraped raw, and he was tired but he forged on anyway because Harry was looking at him now, really looking at him, eyes bright and wide in the infirmary that was only lit up by the full moon outside.
"That was fourth year," he said softly. "That was also the year that Vol… Voldemort returned."
Harry stared at him, the words sinking in and making his heart swell and making him believe that maybe, maybe what Draco was saying was…
Real.
And if it was, Harry could only imagine what Draco must have gone through those years being terrified of his own feelings.
"But you were such a, well," Harry tried once more, flushing. "Such an insufferable git to me."
Draco smiled at him wryly. "Since I couldn't love you, I forced myself to hate you. I wasn't very successful," he muttered with a snort, his voice breaking off slightly. "And that way, I kept getting your attention," he grinned in dry humor.
Harry still couldn't believe it.
But he really, really had this big urge to kiss Draco and he'd had urges to kiss Draco before but never like this, so he did, lunging forward suddenly that Draco was caught off-guard, but Harry's lips found their destination anyway.
And Draco's eyes widened because Harry Potter was kissing him and never in his life that he thought it possible. Oh, he'd imagined it, fantasized about it so many times, but never thought that it would ever happen.
Then Harry was pulling away and it was over and Draco barely stopped himself from following Harry's mouth as it pulled back.
"Sorry," Harry said awkwardly, face burning and eyes a little unfocused. He shook his head to clear it. "I'm sorry, I don't know how to kiss, uhm -"
And Draco just let go of everything because maybe, maybe Harry liked him back so he placed a hand on the back of Harry's head and pulled him close, pressing their lips together almost desperately because this was seven long years in the making and Draco's never wanted anything this badly before.
He moved his lips, sliding them gently against Harry's and feeling utterly pleased at the small gasp that slipped from Harry.
Digging out some more courage from that vault of his, Draco swiped his tongue across Harry's bottom lip, before prying Harry's lips apart with his own. A shudder racked through both their bodies, and Draco couldn't help it. He let out a satisfied moan as he slipped his tongue inside Harry's mouth, exploring and savoring and thinking perfection.
But that didn't compare when Harry, tentatively at first, moved his tongue as well, shyly seeking out Draco's, and if Draco's eyes weren't wet a few minutes ago, they certainly were now, but he stubbornly kept the tears at bay.
They pulled apart when the need for air became too much, panting and faces flushed and filled with awe and wonder.
"Uhm," Harry said intelligently, eyes bright as they stared at Draco. "Wow."
And Draco grinned, sighing happily, because wow indeed.
"If it helps," Harry started awkwardly, shrugging. He gave Draco a shy, embarrassed smile. "I've only come to terms with my feelings yesterday, but Ron and Hermione say that I've been obsessed with you since I was eleven."
The smile that Draco gave him was brilliant.
"So I've heard."
Draco didn't even try to resist anymore.
He swooped down again for another kiss that Harry eagerly gave.
When they pulled apart, Harry had a big, lopsided smile on his face and Draco's heart gave a little happy hop.
"Do you believe me now?" Draco asked, raising one amused eyebrow.
Harry flushed as he remembered Draco's words. "About the first part though, about me being all that… That was a bit too much -"
"No, you are wonderful, Harry," Draco said earnestly, his eyebrow still raised as if daring Harry to object.
Harry's face remained red, but a happy smile lit up his face anyway as waves of affection washed over him for the boy in front of him. "You're pretty amazing yourself," he murmured softly, and was awarded with another kiss.
"I could do this all night," Draco muttered with a breathless laugh when they pulled apart. He leaned his forehead against Harry, cupping the other boy's cheek with one hand as the other played with Harry's hair at the back of his head. "I've certainly waited long enough."
Harry hummed in agreement. "We really should sleep though," he said, a bit regretfully. "We still have classes tomorrow."
"Bollocks," Draco said with a sigh, but pulled away anyway. He glanced at Harry, pausing only a moment before speaking again. "Are you okay now?" he asked softly.
Harry turned to him, knowing that he was asking about the nightmare and feeling nothing but adoration for the boy in front of him because how could Draco think that Harry was anything but okay?
He was better than okay.
He was positively floating.
He felt like his face was about to break from all the smiling he'd been doing.
And to think that just a few minutes ago, he'd been crying of a nightmare that he now knew obviously didn't hold any truth at all.
"Definitely okay."
-
Harry didn't tell Draco that he only stopped having nightmares if Draco slept beside him but he supposed that Draco must have figured it out anyway because when the time came for them to go back to sleep, Draco remained in Harry's bed and snuggled contentedly against him under the covers without saying anything.
Harry dreamt of Draco again, but it was a completely different dream from the previous one he had.
For starters, Harry woke up feeling excessively happy for the first time in a long time.
He woke up to sunshine and blond hair again, except this time, he didn't freak out.
Chapter 17
Author: Cassis Luna
Rating: PG-13 for now
Warnings: ignores DH, EWE, AU, adult themes, profanity
Chapter Word Count: 8940
Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me, it belongs to J.K. Rowling. No money is being made out of this.
Note: I got the idea about the Restoration Potion from the Troyjeinen Potion found here, so that's not mine either.
Summary: Eight year. Draco drinks a potion that makes him know if a person is lying, and Harry, apparently at fault that Draco is this way, is forced to 'help' him throughout the effects of the potion. For the first time, they deal with each other with no lies to hide behind.
Alternate Summary: In which Draco's a Potions experiment gone bad, Hogwarts wants to eat Harry (oh, but does it really?), and everyone thinks they're shagging each other. (Yes, even the house-elves.)
CHAPTER 16
Love
"What the bloody fuck did you do?!" Pansy shrieked, pointing at Neville with one furious finger and looking like she very much wanted to bite his head off.
Neville, on the other hand, looked like he wanted to dig a hole and shove his head down there like an ostrich and never have to deal with the world ever again, because Pansy Parkinson obviously wanted to murder him, Draco Malfoy (Draco Malfoy!) was scrambling to get in his arms with puckered lips, and Blaise Zabini was looking at him wide-eyed and accusing.
Neville wanted to shrivel into a ball.
"I-I don't know-" he gasped out helplessly, still holding Draco away at arms-length. "I swear, I didn't do anythi - Malfoy, stop it!"
And just like that, like a switch turned off, Draco stopped. In fact, he stopped all movement and was looking at Neville, wide-eyed and shocked.
Pansy and Blaise had looked shocked too, at how easily Draco listened, but now they just felt like fainting because Draco's eyes were starting to water and his lower lip was starting to tremble and this was Draco Malfoy!
"You hate me," Draco gasped out despairingly, gazing at Neville with misery.
Pansy's cry was one of horror. "Oh, dear God!" she muttered, frustrated, and got out her wand.
"Stupefy!"
-
Harry wasn't sure about what was going on. He wasn't sure really if eating those mashed potatoes that Ron had been eating was a good idea because he was seeing things, things like - well, like Draco pouncing on Neville and kissing him!
He also saw Pansy Stupefy-ing her best friend, but that shock was for later because all he could think about was Draco and Neville and kiss and ow, Harry wanted to curl into a ball and die.
He stood there shell-shocked, eyes wide and mouth open as Pansy, Blaise and Neville now helped each other to get Draco's unconscious form off the ground.
Behind him, he vaguely registered the doors to the Great Hall opening and Ron and Hermione stepping out, but that was the moment that Pansy finally saw him, eyes widening and hands dropping from Draco's arm and shoulder. Consequently, Neville and Blaise were taken by surprise at the sudden weight and they ended up dropping Draco on the floor.
Hermione and Ron stared, frozen and not very sure about what they were seeing, and Pansy shrieked once more in fury as the finger that had once pointed to Neville now pointed at Harry, demanding.
In retrospect, of course Harry didn’t do anything wrong other than stand there and gape, but Draco’s real love was Harry and that was enough reason for Pansy, who just really needed to yell at someone, to scream:
"Harry fucking Potter, get your bloody ass here right now!”
-
"Longbottom -" Pansy wheezed, as she willed her arm and wand to stay outstretched despite the painful strain at having done so for the past ten minutes. She forced herself to, anyway, because it felt like she was the only one capable of casting a good Hovering Charm among Neville, Ron and Harry.
Blaise and Hermione stood at the side, continuously casting Disillusionment Spells, because they were the only ones who knew how to do decent ones.
As for Hovering Spells, it was a fairly basic spell taught since first year, when they first started out with feathers, and although they’ve gone a long way from levitating almost weightless objects, the dead-weight of an unconscious 18-year-old boy was quite another thing.
Pansy already knew that Neville would suck in regards to the Hovering Spell, so she hadn't really expected much. She didn't really expect anything out of Weasley either, mainly out of Slytherin obligation rather than anything else, but Harry, well, she knew from their little stay in the chambers of the Philosopher's Stone that the boy knew his Hovering Charms, but right now, well, he was just -
Awful.
He looked awful as well, like he was about to be sick.
So, despite the fact that there were four people casting Hovering Charms on Draco, Pansy bore the brunt. Men, she thought angrily. Outwardly, she hissed, "What the hell -" She took a big gulp of air. "- did you do?!"
"Nothing!" Neville squeaked, dropping his arm in surprise and consequently putting down his wand as well.
Pansy hissed once more as more weight was added on her. Ron almost stumbled over his own two feet, and Harry just turned paler.
The four of them made some kind of diamond, with Draco hovering in the middle, sleeping peacefully and blissfully that Pansy had half a mind to Rennervate him then Stupefy him again just for the pleasure of it. On both sides of the diamond were Blaise and Hermione, periodically casting Disillusionment Spells as they walked nearer and nearer to the Hospital Wing.
"Your wand, mate -" Ron hissed with great effort.
Neville scrambled for his wand again.
"I don't think Neville did anything," Hermione said thoughtfully, ever the voice of reason. She glanced at Harry out of the corner of her eye, continuing her speech distractedly. "Maybe he didn't know what was inside that flask."
"I think so too," Blaise acquiesced, mumbling. He raised his eyes to look at Neville, who merely turned redder.
"I-Greengrass said it was water-"
This time, it was Pansy's arm's turn to drop.
Ron squeaked out something about Merlin's balls.
"Greengrass?!" she growled, eyes narrowing into slits.
She was really looking murderous now, though Neville was glad that the intent wasn't focused on him anymore. Still, Greengrass was currently unavailable to look angrily at, so he wasn't saved from that. In his panic, his wand arm dropped as he hastily tried to explain himself even as they continued walking down the corridor.
"This morning, while I was working at the Greenhouse, she - err, she came by and gave me the flask-" he rambled on, looking miserable.
"What did she say?" Pansy demanded.
Neville jumped. "That she liked what we were doing with the Greenhouse Project-"
"Oh, does she now?" Blaise muttered to himself through gritted teeth, thinking of a dozen new hexes that he wanted to test out.
Neville turned pale, but he continued on. "And that I must be tired, so she - she gave me the flask, but I was so busy with what I was doing that I forgot about it and just kept it with me. I - I really thought it was water -"
"Breathe, Neville," Blaise finally said, sighing. He looked much more relaxed than a few moments ago. "We know you didn't do anything. What was inside that flask was Amortentia. Greengrass has been trying to give it to you for weeks."
Now, Neville's face wasn't sure what color it should turn to; his blood was quite undecided whether it should go up to his face or drain from it. It had gone up when he realized that Blaise had just called him by his first name, but it went away quite suddenly when he realized that what he had just given Draco was the most powerful love-potion that ever existed. Even more so when it registered that Greengrass had given Amortentia to him, probably to humiliate him in public.
"I'm sorry," he said instead, wretchedly.
"I'll fucking kill her," Pansy fumed.
Blaise nodded in enthusiastic agreement. Hermione was only listening with one ear though, because she was mainly focused on Harry, who wasn't listening with any of his ears at all and was looking quite pale and as miserable as Neville, though that could be because he was still holding his wand out, trying to keep Draco hovering with only Ron for help.
And Ron wheezed some more and glared at them all. "If nobody casts another Hovering Charm, I swear I'll throw this ferret out the bloody window."
-
Ten Hovering Charms and seven Disillusionment Charms later, they finally reached the Hospital Wing and managed to safely deposit Draco on his bed. Madame Pomfrey was back at the Great Hall, still finishing her dinner, so they had no problems occupying the other beds, exhausted from all those spellwork they did. (Ron had actually sprawled on the ground mere seconds after Draco landed on his bed, and he would have happily stayed there too if it wasn't for Hermione.)
"Alright," Blaise said, looking at Draco's sleeping form and thinking of the blond's impending dramatic and horrified outburst. "What do we do?"
Pansy jumped off her bed and brandished her wand. "I'll take care of Greengrass."
"I meant about Draco!"
Draco, as if hearing his name, began to stir slightly awake.
Everyone shared alarmed looks.
"Stupefy him again!" Blaise said hurriedly, knowing that Draco wouldn't be happy about it. Draco also wouldn't be happy to know that he had acted like a lovesick puppy towards Neville either, so they were going with the lesser of the two evils.
"I can't!" Pansy replied, panicking as well. "I hit him a strong one earlier and he might be seriously hurt if I Stun him again."
"Well, I don't know - Cast Incarcerous or something!"
Pansy fumbled with her wand, rushing, but Draco was already awake and blinking blearily at them and smiling dreamily and really, Ron was enjoying this.
Then Draco caught sight of Neville and beamed, really beamed, like a fairy light turned on and he got off his bed as if he hadn't just been given a very strong Stun that left him unconscious through all the hovering he was made to do from the Great Hall to the Hospital Wing. "Neville!" he exclaimed happily, crossing the room and jumping onto Neville's bed.
Neville looked like he was about to be attacked by wild hippogriff as he scrambled back against the headboard, knees drawn to his chest. "Uhm, Malfoy, see here -"
But Draco was lunging forward again, trying to kiss him and Neville hastily grabbed his shoulders and tried to keep him away. His arms already hurt from having Hovered Draco earlier, but he would tolerate the pain if it meant keeping the blond from invading his personal space.
Ron turned away, but one could see his shoulders shaking. Hermione kicked him in the shin.
Blaise and Pansy watched on helplessly, fingers pressing at their temple.
Then an idea hit Blaise like a brick.
"The antidote - Professor Snape -"
"I'll get it," Harry said, jumping off his bed. He kept his eyes firmly away from Draco and Neville, and tried to keep his hands from shaking. He felt jittery. "I'll be right back," he said and quickly exited the Hospital Wing.
"Harry, you can't - !" Hermione exclaimed in alarm, but it was too late. The door to the infirmary had already closed behind Harry.
Her attention was diverted away from the doors though, because Neville had just let out a loud cry of despair. Draco was frozen on top of Neville, his face scrunched up in great concentration as he stared at the doors which Harry had just exited.
Then, just as abruptly as that happened, the dreamy smile returned and he went back to scrambling in for a kiss.
-
Harry knew now that Draco was under the effects of Amortentia (how Greengrass got a hold of that, he had no idea) but when he saw Draco kiss Neville, he had thought it was real and he still couldn't quite get the shock out of his system.
He knew this wasn't the time to wallow in self-pity at his unrequited love though, because Draco needed his help and - well, he knew that being more than friends would be impossible at the very beginning anyway.
After all, it was such a far-fetched idea. As if Draco would even consider that.
He ran down the corridor and down the stairs until he reached the Entrance Hall. Quickly deciding, he turned left to go down the dungeons rather than right to the Great Hall. Dinnertime still wasn't over, but students were piling out the Great Hall now and Harry knew that Snape ate fast.
(There were also other teachers out of the Great Hall now, littered around the Entrance Hall like the students as well. Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow at him as he passed with a rushed greeting and Professor Bridgewood still Not Looked at him.)
The cold air of the dungeons greeted him, chilling his already cold hands. The Potions classroom was nearer than Snape's office so Harry made a beeline for that first. By the time he reached his destination, he was panting and shivering slightly with cold sweat. He didn't even bother to knock.
Relief shot through him like an arrow when he saw Snape behind his desk, grading papers and religiously writing Dreadfuls and obligatory scathing remarks on all of them. (Alright, not all…)
Snape raised an eyebrow at him. "Potter," he said, letting his displeasure at having been interrupted seep through. That, and he still felt rather disgruntled at his discovery during his class with the eighth year Gryffindors and Slytherins earlier, when Harry drank the love potion. He certainly didn't need Potter in front of him right now. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
Seven years of Snape's sarcasm rendered you immune, Harry supposed, so he had no problems entering the classroom and walking straight up to Snape's desk. "Professor, do you have the antidote for Amortentia? Draco drank it and now he's been trying to kiss Neville because Greengrass gave it to Neville who gave it to Draco and we've brought him to the Hospital Wing-" he rambled on, only shutting up when he chanced a glance at Snape's face and saw the dark, furious expression he saw there that made him take a step back a bit.
When Snape spoke, it was with barely restrained rage. "Potter, are you telling me that Draco drank Amortentia? And now he's in the Hospital Wing, spewing love anecdotes for Longbottom?"
Well, Harry didn't say anything about love anecdotes, but he found that he didn't quite want to contradict Snape right now. He nodded meekly.
Snape stood up from his desk abruptly, making it rattle. He crossed the room and yanked his Potions cabinet open, muttering curses under his breath. "Detentions for each and every one of you -" he muttered furiously.
He took the antidote, two Blood-Replenishing Potions and two belladonna tinctures. Then, he thought better of it and grabbed another Blood-Replenishing Potion just in case.
His hand shook as he did so, his mouth a grim line as he thought about all the dangerous effects the Amortentia could have on Draco. Ashwinder eggs, he thought with gritted teeth.
"Potter!" he snapped, turning around abruptly and sending his cloak billowing behind him. He strode up to Harry and shoved the bottles in the boy's arms. "Carry that and don't drop anything," he hissed, before turning around once more and out the door towards the Hospital Wing.
"Could've just shrunk them," Harry muttered, but rushed out of the classroom as well-
And bumped into Ron.
"Careful!" Harry exclaimed, balancing the bottles in his arms.
"Sorry!" Ron said quickly.
Harry glanced beside him and saw that Snape was still furiously stomping his way down the corridor. Ron followed his gaze and snorted.
"What's got his knickers in a bunch, huh?"
Harry turned to stare at him.
Ron shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry. Bumped into Morgan. He was still talking about knickers."
Harry rolled his eyes. "Come on. Let's hurry up. Help me carry these, will you?"
Ron took some of the bottles in his hands and they hurried after Snape.
"Hermione sent me after you," Ron said a while later through pants, as they walked up the stairs to the second floor. "You're not supposed to go out alone, Harry."
"Sorry," Harry said out of reflex rather than anything else, because he wasn't really sorry that he had rushed out of the Hospital Wing like that. He had really, really needed to get out of there.
He could feel the annoyance at being so heavily guarded again prickle the back of his neck, but he pushed that back down because he knew that his friends were only trying to help.
Still, it made Harry feel like it was fifth year all over again…
-
"Harry, help me!" Neville mouthed despairingly as soon as Harry entered. He was still backed up against the headboard of the bed, but this time his knees weren't drawn up to his chest anymore because Draco was beside him, snuggling against him with a satisfied and happy expression on his face.
Harry looked away, because while he was drawn to Draco's peaceful expression, he didn't think he could take his heart beating so harshly yet.
On other beds, Blaise, Pansy and Hermione sat, all panting from exhaustion at having tried to pry Draco away from Neville.
"Last I checked, he wasn't this strong," Blaise muttered, scowling darkly.
"Power of love," Pansy gasped out.
In their defense, the three of them didn't really give much force; they were afraid to hurt Draco.
Snape found them like that and it was all he could do not to turn back and walk out the door again.
"Oh, this is ridiculous!" Hermione exclaimed. "Neville, just sweet-talk Draco into staying still!"
Neville turned panicked-eyes on her. "I don't know how to sweet-talk!"
"Pretend it's someone you really like!" Hermione persisted, remembering their class in Potions earlier and how nothing happened to Neville when Blaise gave him the love potion.
Neville opened his mouth to refuse but Snape cut in, looking menacing and dangerous. "Do it, Longbottom!" he ordered.
Blaise then did Not Look at Neville because he did not like the idea of Neville liking someone.
Neville squeaked at Snape and shook his head wildly. "I can't even talk to the person I like without stuttering so I can't do that -" he said, face burning fiercely.
Pansy stomped over to him and said dangerously, "Do it, Longbottom, or I swear I'll Furnunculus you every day for the rest of the year -"
"Pansy!" Hermione yelled with a glare as Neville squeaked.
Harry supposed that he really should find some humor in all of this (Ron was certainly helping himself.), if all he could feel so far was this numb, hollow feeling. Shake out of it, Harry, he thought furiously. This isn't about you.
"Neville, we just need you to ask him to drink, uhm, some medicine," he said, quickly changing his words when he saw that Draco was looking at him with a weird expression. He didn't know what Draco would think and how he would react if he had said 'antidote'.
Neville paled, but he nodded and took a deep breath. "Mal-" he cringed, and he actually looked quite a bit green there. "Draco."
Draco turned away from Harry to look at Neville, all smiles once more.
"Professor Snape's just going to give you some potions, so, uhm, would you?" Neville asked, voice squeaking. "For me?"
Oh, Merlin, Ron couldn't take it. He quickly strode over to the nearest bed, knelt before it and shoved his face against the mattress because he couldn't help it. His shoulders shook from restrained mirth.
Hermione rolled her eyes at her boyfriend.
"Alright," Draco replied happily. "For you."
"Potter!" Snape snapped. "Give it to him."
Harry nodded dumbly and hurried towards Neville and Draco.
"Harry, you do know which one's the antidote, right?" Pansy asked skeptically, eyeing the similarly sized bottles in his hands.
"Antidote?" Draco said, blinking.
And all eyes turned to glare at Pansy, who quickly slapped a hand on her mouth and turned pink.
"Antidote?" Draco asked again, frowning. He turned to Neville. "They're trying to take me away from you," he said accusingly.
Neville quickly shook his head. "No, no, they're only trying to help. I promise, Mal - Draco, they're not going to do anything-"
"Well, I'm not drinking it," Draco announced stubbornly, glaring at the bottle that Harry held out.
Snape rubbed his temples and, for the first time ever, regretted that he ever made Draco into the Potions genius he was today.
"Please, Draco-"
"No!"
"You don't really like me," Neville said helplessly, already at the end of his rope.
Draco turned to him, eyes wide and disbelieving. "How can you say that?"
"You're in love with Harry!" Neville blurted out.
And everyone in the room unconsciously held their breath. Pansy and Blaise kept their eyes on Draco, wanting to see what effect this would have on him, but Hermione and Ron slid their eyes to Harry, worried.
Harry wanted to die, and he wanted to say 'that's not true, Neville' because Draco was only joking with the illegal affair thing and it wasn’t true and Draco could never possibly be in love with Harry.
"Harry?" Draco asked, eyebrows furrowing as he looked at Harry. His face scrunched up in great concentration, as if he was thinking something but couldn't quite grasp it definitively. He turned to Neville, nose scrunched up in confusion. "Why would I be in love with Potter?"
And Harry slowly fell apart.
Why, indeed.
"Draco," Snape's voice cut through the tension like a knife. He took the antidote from Harry's hands, keeping his eyes away dutifully from Harry's face. He walked towards Draco, back straight and face forming into his most stern expression. "Would I give you something that would harm you?"
Draco's expression was pouty as he regarded his godfather with calculating eyes. Then, he shook his head. "No," he muttered, taking the antidote from Snape's outstretched hand.
He gave Neville one last longing glance, before downing the antidote.
Everyone held their breath.
"Potter," Snape said, turning to Harry. "A word," he whispered, before walking towards the door and out the infirmary.
Harry waited only to see Draco's confused expression turn into one of horrified realization before he walked out the door as well, leaving the room with a furiously beating heart.
-
"You do know what's going to happen now that Draco's taken in Amortentia," Snape said as soon as the door closed behind Harry. He wasn't going to beat around the bush.
Still shaken up, Harry could only nod dumbly.
Snape eyed the remaining two bottles that Harry was carrying. "You have the belladonna tinctures, and I assume that Weasley has the Blood-Replenishing Potions?"
Again, Harry nodded.
"Give Draco one of the belladonna later. If Draco's little coughing fit happens again, do not try to stop him from vomiting. He needs to get it out of his system, but be ready with Blood-Replenishing Potion. Are you listening to me, Potter?" Snape sneered.
"Yes, Professor," Harry said firmly.
Snape stared down at him, his mouth a thin line. Then, when he seemed to be satisfied enough, he nodded. "I'll inform Madame Pomfrey. And Potter?"
“Yes, Professor?”
"Detention for all of you tomorrow night," he said with a sneer, before turning away abruptly, his cloak billowing behind him as he continued his furious muttering. "Now excuse me while I go Obliviate myself."
Harry, in his confused and lovesick state, was starting to think that detention was Snape's way of showing affection.
-
When Harry reentered the Hospital Wing, Neville was still in the same bed as earlier, as well as Pansy, Hermione and Blaise. Ron was now sitting on the bed where he had just shoved his face onto earlier, but the only one who had changed places was Draco, who was now currently on his own bed, very far away from Neville. He sat there arms-crossed, eyebrow twitching and with a petulant expression on his face.
Harry could stop being miserable long enough to at least find this amusing.
"Well," Pansy said loudly, blowing sweaty bangs away from her forehead. She glanced around the room, where everyone was all sitting quietly in their respective places. "This is awkward."
Blaise glared at her sullenly. Neville buried his face in his knees, moaning pitifully at his misfortune, and Hermione merely sighed in exasperation at all of them.
Ron looked smug.
Draco followed Neville's suit, Not Looked at Harry, and groaned mournfully as he buried his burning face in his knees. "I'm going to fucking kill Greengrass," he muttered.
-
Draco remembered everything. He remembered every eternally scarring thing that he did and every eternally mortifying thing that had stupidly come out of his mouth. He was seriously considering washing his mouth with soap and maybe even Obliviating everyone who was involved when they weren't looking.
Including himself.
And Harry.
Definitely Harry.
Draco couldn't even bring himself to look at Harry yet - which was worse now, because Madame Pomfrey had finally arrived in the Hospital Wing and had shooed everyone else out since curfew was just one more hour away. She had raised an eyebrow at Draco that told him that Snape had talked to her already, before retreating to her room with a reminder that if anything happened, she was just a call away.
After that, she left them alone.
Alone.
With Harry.
Whom - for the first time ever - he didn't really want to be alone with.
He had half a mind to call Madame Pomfrey and pretend to have an epileptic seizure just so that he didn't have to deal with talking to Harry. He couldn't very well pretend that nothing happened and go 'so, how's your day going, Harry?'.
Maybe he just shouldn't say anything at all. Would Harry consider that rude? Well, of course that would be considered rude, but Draco didn't know what to say.
I'm going to fucking kill Greengrass was a good one, but that was already overused and besides, everyone already knew that he was going to hex Greengrass come morning. He might even let Neville get in a hex or two, since the boy was a victim as well in this whole scenario.
Not that Draco cared much about Neville. Or Blaise. (Because in his mind, where Neville was considered, Blaise was as well.)
Well, he did, sort of, since he did have a human conscience after all, but they weren't nearly as important as Harry.
Maybe he shouldn't say anything at all.
Maybe Harry would take pity on him and leave him alone and go to sleep and Draco could wallow in his embarrassment and humiliation in peace.
"Draco?"
Draco groaned pitifully before he could help himself.
"Oh - uhm - sorry -"
Draco immediately raised his head to tell Harry that he shouldn't apologize and cringed at the hurt look on the other's face. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that," he said, sighing heavily. He could feel his face flushing again at the memory of being under Amortentia but he kept his eyes firmly glued on Harry, mainly because if he took them away, he probably wouldn't be able to look at Harry again.
"No one thinks less of you, you know," Harry said, smiling in what he hoped was comforting. Draco was not comforted, despite the fact that the light around Harry shone gold. "You were under the effects of a love potion. I mean, we just did that earlier in Potions class earlier."
"Yes, well," Draco muttered dryly, still despairing. "It's quite different when you've got six other people sympathizing with you compared to being the only one throwing your dignity away."
Harry flushed at that.
"And I'm sure the Weasel had his fun," Draco continued sulkily.
"Is that what you're worried about? Ron?" Harry asked, chuckling. "He doesn't think less of you exactly. He'll probably warm up to you more, now that he's seen that you can be human too," he said with a grin.
Draco did not know why he felt better about that, as if it mattered what Harry's friends thought of him.
"Anyway, Snape said you needed to take this." Harry crossed the room to stop beside Draco's bed and hand him the bottle of belladonna.
Draco's face scrunched up in confusion. "But I had my little coughing episode earlier and I took one already."
Harry's eyes widened. "You had… earlier?"
Draco nodded and was happily pleased at the concern that was evident on Harry's face. "That was the reason why Neville gave me that flask of Amortentia. I had a fit, and he gave it to me because he thought it was water."
"I'm sorry," Harry said, looking guilty. "I wasn't there."
Draco rolled his eyes. "Don't worry your pretty little head over it, Harry. You're not exactly obligated to keep an eye on me all the time. And it wasn't your fault."
Harry nodded, shrugging awkwardly. He motioned to the belladonna with his hand. "You should still drink another one."
Draco looked at Harry for a moment, noticing the way that Harry was looking at him but not meeting his eyes. It was like the Gryffindor wanted to look at something, anything, other than Draco's eyes. Draco raised an eyebrow. "Alright," he said smoothly, before unstopping the tincture.
Harry smiled at him weakly, before turning around and heading for his own bed.
-
It would have to go away eventually, Harry figured. Draco obviously didn't harbor any feelings for him other than friendship, so maybe with that knowledge, Harry's heart would stop beating so stupidly fast whenever the blond would jokingly flirt with him because that was all it was. A joke.
Harry took off his school cloak, strategically keeping his back to Draco. He went to his trunk, rummaging for some clean sleeping clothes as he thought about how horribly tiring this day had been. He had realized his feelings for what they really were and, in a short span of twelve hours, had the chance of them being reciprocated crushed quite brutally.
This would have been almost funny, if Harry thought about it in a third person point of view.
Still, this wasn't the time to be wallowing in self-pity, Harry quickly reminded himself. He should be more concerned with Draco, who was still obviously dealing with the trauma of being under the world's strongest love potion that contained eggs from Ashwinders.
Just like that, Harry felt his melancholy drain away only to be replaced by an urgent worry of what might happen to Draco. Snape did give him an extra dose of belladonna, but Harry still hoped that the Ashwinder eggs didn't do any more damage to Draco's already - well, flammable state.
"Draco -" he said, at the same time that Draco turned to him and said:
"Harry."
Both of them paused awkwardly, blinking at each other.
Draco, always the commanding one, shrugged and motioned for Harry to speak with his hand. "Well, go on."
Harry gave a start. "Uhm, right, Draco," he let out, feeling inexplicably lame. He peered at the blond closely, worriedly. "Are you sure you're okay? No funny feeling at the bottom of your stomach? I mean, you did take in a love potion and Snape says that it might be dangerous, and err, well -" he rambled on, but Draco pretty much lost him because he was thinking with a snort that he wasn't feeling anything funny at the bottom of his stomach other than the butterflies because Harry was worried about him. Then along with the butterflies, there was also that heavy sinking feeling that had something to do with what he was about to say earlier.
Harry, seeing that Draco was merely staring at him with a raised eyebrow, flushed and swerved his rambling. "Sorry, err, if you think I'm being too nosy. I guess I'm just -" he cringed at what he was about to say. "- worried because of what Snape said and I don't want you to suddenly, uhm…"
Then Draco's face changed and he continued to stare at Harry, only this time he was really staring, eyes opened wide as Harry's words and the seemingly too bright gold light surrounding him comprehended in Draco's brain and Draco felt… a sudden onslaught of affection for this person in front of him.
Why did Draco have to embarrass himself earlier while under the effects of the Amortentia, but oh, if it got him this…
"Sod it, Potter," Draco said coolly, because having Hufflepuff thoughts didn't mean was about to start acting like one, but he simply could not resist the soft, adoring smile that lit up his face. "I get it. I drank the belladonna, so don't worry about it."
Harry was taken aback by Draco's smile, and couldn't help the flush that overcame his face. When Draco finished speaking though, a skeptical look crossed his expression.
Draco rolled his eyes, amused now. "No funny feeling at the pit of my stomach either."
Except the butterflies, he mentally added. Even the heavy feeling was gone now.
Harry paused, looking at him, before nodding, seemingly satisfied. "Alright. What did you want to say earlier?"
Oh. Draco blinked, before shrugging nonchalantly. "Never mind." He had been thinking about what Harry said, that no one thought less of him even though they saw him under Amortentia, but then Harry wouldn't even look at him straight in the eyes earlier, so he thought that Harry obviously found it weird and awkward and maybe even disgusting but now…
Draco found himself smiling softly, feeling nothing but affection for the boy in front of him. "It's nothing."
Whipped, Draco, a Pansy-like voice snorted in his head. Whipped.
It really was cruel that Harry didn't feel the same way he did and it seemed like he never would.
-
They both changed in their pyjamas and got ready for bed, murmuring their goodnights as the respective exhaustion of their day caught up to them.
Harry didn’t dream about gigantic chess pieces, but Draco was still there. Even though Harry didn't want him to be, Draco stood in the middle of a vast darkness, always with his back to Harry who called to him but never reached him. Then in the deafening silence of the dark, Harry heard crying, a little boy's frightened whimpers that sounded loathingly familiar because he realized, with his blood running cold, that they were his and he was looking down at the eight-year-old boy in the cupboard, crying and huddled at the edge of the dirty mattress that Uncle Vernon had forcibly squeezed in. But - but no, it wasn't him anymore, that boy wasn't him, and the cupboard disappeared with a wisp of cold, frigid air but the boy was still there.
Tom Riddle was still there.
And those young eyes of his looked at Harry piercingly, accusingly, like it was Harry's fault that he grew up to be the madman that everyone grew to fear, until those eyes turned hollow, the pupils turned red and the skin turned green and ashen, and Lord Voldemort stood in front of Harry, gleeful and triumphant.
A manic laughter filled the darkness, followed by a piercing scream and Harry realized, with blood rushing in his ears and his heart beating too loud, that the scream came from Draco, who fell to the floor with a sickening thud, thrashing and screaming as if under the Cruciatus Curse, and Voldemort loomed over Harry, smug and mocking.
"You'll be just like me, Harry."
It was a whisper that caressed his skin as Voldemort murmured it beside his cheek.
"You'll never know love."
Then, his murmur turned into a harsh hiss.
"You don't deserve it."
And Draco continued on thrashing, sobbing on the floor as Voldemort pointed his wand at him, the Elder Wand -
"He'll never love you."
The wand was pointed at him now, and he couldn't move, frozen to the spot as Draco's screams filled his ears and his head and his heart was thumping so hard it hurt and Voldemort stepped in front of him, a sadistic little smile on his face as his lips formed the words and green light dove straight for Harry.
"AVADA -"
"HARRY!"
-
Harry woke up with a start, eyes wide and unseeing as his chest heaved in longing for air. His body was stiff on the bed and Harry had to force his fingers to untangle themselves from the sheets because his knuckles were hurting and someone was shaking him and that hurt too.
"Harry!"
Harry started again, his nerves making him jumpy as he registered that it was Draco who was shaking him, but Harry couldn't see his face very well because he didn't have his glasses on and the Hospital Wing was dark and all he could see was green.
"Glasses -" he gasped out, because he needed it and so that Draco would stop shaking him.
Draco did indeed stop, pulling back as if surprised. "You're awake now? Really awake?" he asked shakily, reaching over Harry to grab the boy's glasses on his bedside table.
When Draco gave it to him, Harry vaguely realized that Draco was shaking as well. He sat up, put his glasses on, and realized that he'd been crying.
He flushed as embarrassment washed over him, but that lessened when Draco didn't say anything and leaned forward to gently wipe the tear tracks on Harry's face with his thumbs.
Harry relaxed, eyes closing. "I am," he let out, but that kind of hurt too, and he coughed and swallowed heavily to clear his throat. "Sorry, was I -"
"You were screaming," Draco cut in somberly. He sat on the edge of Harry's bed, grabbing Harry's hands and holding them firmly. "I thought Madame Pomfrey might've run out of her room."
Harry realized just how cold his fingers felt, and then he noticed that Draco's were too. Nevertheless, Draco rubbed Harry's hands with his to get them warm and to stop them from shaking.
"Sorry, I used to do Silencing Spells every night back at the dorms, but I keep on forgetting here -" Harry said, but cut himself off when Draco shook his head.
"No Silencing Spells," Draco said firmly.
Harry looked at him, surprised. He stared for a moment, before a small, tired smile came over his lips and he leaned against the headboard of his bed heavily. "Okay."
"Were you…" Draco started, looking awkward and conscious, but he tried again anyway, eyes looking straight at Harry's. "Was it about me again?" he asked softly.
Harry stiffened, feeling oddly exposed and embarrassed as well, and also because he could still remember the dream and how Draco had cried and sobbed under Voldemort's wand. "Yes."
Draco looked unsure. "The chess pieces again?"
Harry didn't want to talk about his real dream, and he was tired, so it was almost by reflex that he said, "Yeah."
And Draco frowned because the gold light around Harry (dimmed, because of the darkness of the infirmary, but it was still gold nonetheless and still shimmering) turned abruptly black. "So it's not about the chess pieces."
Harry looked at him, confused, because didn’t he just say-
Then realization dawned on him and he remembered that right, oh, shite, Draco could tell if he was lying. He shook his head slightly to clear it. "I don't want to talk about it," he said instead, feeling the slight prickle of annoyance.
Gold.
Draco turned his attention to Harry's hands, noting with satisfaction that they were starting to become warm now. "It might help," he murmured softly, because he knew about nightmares too. "To, you know, let it out."
Harry let out a breath, frustrated. "I said I don't want to talk about it!" he said irritably.
Draco pulled back, surprised. He withdrew his hands as well, looking hurt. "Alright, Potter, no need to be feisty about it."
Harry immediately felt guilty and ashamed.
When Draco moved to get off the bed, Harry's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, fingers pressing gently as if they were unsure if it was alright to be doing so.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just -" he started, inhaling deeply and exhaling. He blinked at Draco, surprised that his eyes were becoming moist again. "I don't want to remember, so," he shrugged awkwardly. "Please don't go," he blurted out, and it was humiliating how the tears fell from his eyes because he could still remember the dream and what Voldemort said.
Draco was beside him in an instant though and that made him feel a little bit better.
Draco was shocked at the rare vulnerability that Harry was showing him and his heart clenched painfully as he once again used his thumbs to wipe Harry's face free from tears. "That's alright," he whispered softly, feeling awkward but wanting nothing more than to comfort the boy in front of him. "You don't have to tell me," he said, but it didn't matter because Harry was saying something as well.
"Riddle was there too," Harry whispered, the boy's angelic face still haunting him. "He told me -" he broke off, remembering how eight-year-old Harry became Tom Riddle in his dream.
"What did he tell you?" Draco asked, throwing the blankets aside so that he could sit next to Harry, his back also resting on the headboard. He curled an arm around Harry's waist while his other hand sought one of Harry's, mainly because he wanted to do so but also because he had no idea how to comfort someone and thought that maybe Harry would appreciate it.
Whether Harry did or didn't, he didn't say but his hand automatically clenched around Draco's, even seeming as if unconsciously.
"That I'll be just like him," Harry muttered, and his voice sounded hollow even to his own ears. "That I'll never know love. I don't deserve it. That you'll never -"
He froze.
Draco froze too.
Because he could have sworn that the next words that Harry was about to say was ’love’ and that opened up all possibilities and hopes that he had long since trampled on and thrown away.
Harry's horror-stricken face told him that he was right.
It also told him that Harry knew that Draco had found out what he was about to say as well.
Harry's body had stiffened in apprehension, mortified at what he been so close to saying, but he tried to pretend that he hadn't been anyway, and finished lamely. "- really be friends with me."
It was a pitiful attempt, he knew, because he was probably (no, definitely) covered in black light now but he wished desperately that Draco would get the hint anyway and not say anything about it.
Harry's lie made Draco's hopes soar higher and his remaining doubts disappear, so he pulled up his courage from whatever deep, deep vault he had in his chest because if he wasn't going to do this now, then he was never going to.
"Harry -" he started, breathless and hopeful, but then Harry turned fearful and anxious eyes on him that Draco's heart clenched painfully because how could Harry think that Draco was going to turn him away?
"Harry," he tried again, twisting his upper body so that he could face Harry and make him face him since Harry had turned his eyes away now, looking awkwardly at the blanket on his lap. Gently, Draco raised his hands to cup Harry's face, ignoring the way that Harry jumped a bit when their skin made contact.
Draco couldn't resist. He rested his forehead against Harry's, murmuring with a crazily happy sort of laugh. "Riddle doesn't know a thing."
Harry didn't say anything, too confused by what was happening and why Draco was touching him like this.
"You'll never be like him," Draco whispered fiercely, eyes bright as they stared into green ones. "You're compassionate and loving and friendly and everybody likes you and you touch everybody you meet, Harry, you don't even know, and you have this stupid little way of putting others before yourself that it's very frustrating sometimes because I really like you better when you're not horribly injured or losing a bone or two or near-death, and you'll never be anything like Riddle."
Harry gaped at Draco, eyes wide and mouth open as a red flush crept over his cheeks, to his ears and down his neck at Draco's words.
Draco's lips quirked up in amusement as he pulled back just a little bit, taking his hands with him. "And there's no such thing as not deserving love." He raised an eyebrow at Harry. "I mean," he continued softly. "You're the one who taught me that, remember? When you accepted me in Grimmauld Place even though I'm a Death Eater -"
He said the title with thinly-veiled disgust and bitterness that Harry couldn't help but raise his hands as well and grab hold of Draco's wrists to get his attention.
"Was," Harry muttered, face burning. "And you didn't have a choice."
Draco smiled at him, a little sadly. He finished his sentence. "- and I deserve less than you."
Harry frowned deeply at Draco. "There's no such thing -"
"Exactly," Draco cut in, grinning wildly.
Harry was embarrassed at how he'd been played, but Draco was speaking again, this time more slowly, as if he was hesitant to continue.
"And as for the last thing that Riddle said…"
Harry froze again. He blinked at Draco, trying to pulling away but Draco kept him there firmly by the shoulders.
Harry could feel the panic set in, because couldn't Draco just forget about all this? Whatever Draco wanted to say to him, he really didn't want to hear it -
"I've been in love with you since first year, Harry."
Harry stared at him dumbly.
He needed to clean his ears if he was going to start hearing love confessions from Draco Malfoy now, or maybe he was still dreaming, maybe Voldemort was still torturing him in his dream…
The silence grew longer as Harry continued to stare, and Draco was starting to panic now as all his doubts came rushing back to him.
"I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear, but -" he rushed out, but he cut himself, because he wasn't sorry for being in love with Harry. He continued, slowly and softly this time. "I mean it."
"B-but you said," Harry started, disoriented and blinking wildly. "You told Neville, earlier -"
It took Draco a while to remember what he said, but when he did, his face burned as he recalled his Amortentia-induced words and actions.
"Why would I be in love with Potter?"
"I was under Amortentia!" Draco muttered defensively, thinking of the heavy pull that the love potion gave him during that situation. "I'm in love with you, but the potion kept telling me that I was supposed to be in love with Longbottom."
Draco had never felt so utterly bare and vulnerable before, and it was embarrassing saying that the things that he was saying but the words were tumbling out of his lips before he could stop them.
Harry still wasn't convinced. "But you hate me!" he blurted out helplessly.
Draco's eyebrows furrowed as he looked at Harry disbelievingly. "You still think that, after all the -"
"I mean, back in first year, and…" Harry trailed off, flushing as Draco's words resounded in his head again even though they couldn't possibly be true. There was just no way. He didn't even need Draco's ability to see that gold or black light. This was just cruel but -
But Harry wanted to believe it was true anyway.
"I wasn't supposed to be in love with you, Harry!" Draco replied stubbornly, his defense mechanism kicking in. "I mean, imagine Lucius Malfoy's son, having a crush on the Dark Lord's greatest enemy! When you refused my hand in first year, Harry, that -" he cut himself off abruptly, blinking rapidly because his eyes felt moist and he did not like talking about the handshake incident. "I tried to stop," he muttered instead, face burning. "But then it got worse and I ended up falling in love of all things."
He felt vulnerable and scraped raw, and he was tired but he forged on anyway because Harry was looking at him now, really looking at him, eyes bright and wide in the infirmary that was only lit up by the full moon outside.
"That was fourth year," he said softly. "That was also the year that Vol… Voldemort returned."
Harry stared at him, the words sinking in and making his heart swell and making him believe that maybe, maybe what Draco was saying was…
Real.
And if it was, Harry could only imagine what Draco must have gone through those years being terrified of his own feelings.
"But you were such a, well," Harry tried once more, flushing. "Such an insufferable git to me."
Draco smiled at him wryly. "Since I couldn't love you, I forced myself to hate you. I wasn't very successful," he muttered with a snort, his voice breaking off slightly. "And that way, I kept getting your attention," he grinned in dry humor.
Harry still couldn't believe it.
But he really, really had this big urge to kiss Draco and he'd had urges to kiss Draco before but never like this, so he did, lunging forward suddenly that Draco was caught off-guard, but Harry's lips found their destination anyway.
And Draco's eyes widened because Harry Potter was kissing him and never in his life that he thought it possible. Oh, he'd imagined it, fantasized about it so many times, but never thought that it would ever happen.
Then Harry was pulling away and it was over and Draco barely stopped himself from following Harry's mouth as it pulled back.
"Sorry," Harry said awkwardly, face burning and eyes a little unfocused. He shook his head to clear it. "I'm sorry, I don't know how to kiss, uhm -"
And Draco just let go of everything because maybe, maybe Harry liked him back so he placed a hand on the back of Harry's head and pulled him close, pressing their lips together almost desperately because this was seven long years in the making and Draco's never wanted anything this badly before.
He moved his lips, sliding them gently against Harry's and feeling utterly pleased at the small gasp that slipped from Harry.
Digging out some more courage from that vault of his, Draco swiped his tongue across Harry's bottom lip, before prying Harry's lips apart with his own. A shudder racked through both their bodies, and Draco couldn't help it. He let out a satisfied moan as he slipped his tongue inside Harry's mouth, exploring and savoring and thinking perfection.
But that didn't compare when Harry, tentatively at first, moved his tongue as well, shyly seeking out Draco's, and if Draco's eyes weren't wet a few minutes ago, they certainly were now, but he stubbornly kept the tears at bay.
They pulled apart when the need for air became too much, panting and faces flushed and filled with awe and wonder.
"Uhm," Harry said intelligently, eyes bright as they stared at Draco. "Wow."
And Draco grinned, sighing happily, because wow indeed.
"If it helps," Harry started awkwardly, shrugging. He gave Draco a shy, embarrassed smile. "I've only come to terms with my feelings yesterday, but Ron and Hermione say that I've been obsessed with you since I was eleven."
The smile that Draco gave him was brilliant.
"So I've heard."
Draco didn't even try to resist anymore.
He swooped down again for another kiss that Harry eagerly gave.
When they pulled apart, Harry had a big, lopsided smile on his face and Draco's heart gave a little happy hop.
"Do you believe me now?" Draco asked, raising one amused eyebrow.
Harry flushed as he remembered Draco's words. "About the first part though, about me being all that… That was a bit too much -"
"No, you are wonderful, Harry," Draco said earnestly, his eyebrow still raised as if daring Harry to object.
Harry's face remained red, but a happy smile lit up his face anyway as waves of affection washed over him for the boy in front of him. "You're pretty amazing yourself," he murmured softly, and was awarded with another kiss.
"I could do this all night," Draco muttered with a breathless laugh when they pulled apart. He leaned his forehead against Harry, cupping the other boy's cheek with one hand as the other played with Harry's hair at the back of his head. "I've certainly waited long enough."
Harry hummed in agreement. "We really should sleep though," he said, a bit regretfully. "We still have classes tomorrow."
"Bollocks," Draco said with a sigh, but pulled away anyway. He glanced at Harry, pausing only a moment before speaking again. "Are you okay now?" he asked softly.
Harry turned to him, knowing that he was asking about the nightmare and feeling nothing but adoration for the boy in front of him because how could Draco think that Harry was anything but okay?
He was better than okay.
He was positively floating.
He felt like his face was about to break from all the smiling he'd been doing.
And to think that just a few minutes ago, he'd been crying of a nightmare that he now knew obviously didn't hold any truth at all.
"Definitely okay."
-
Harry didn't tell Draco that he only stopped having nightmares if Draco slept beside him but he supposed that Draco must have figured it out anyway because when the time came for them to go back to sleep, Draco remained in Harry's bed and snuggled contentedly against him under the covers without saying anything.
Harry dreamt of Draco again, but it was a completely different dream from the previous one he had.
For starters, Harry woke up feeling excessively happy for the first time in a long time.
He woke up to sunshine and blond hair again, except this time, he didn't freak out.
Chapter 17