Love hurts
"Love hurts" couldn't be a more true statement right now. Do I love him? Do I love HIM? Should I date my best friend, or is that wrong somehow? I'm the girl with a bunch of AMAZING guy friends, and knows that they all love me very much (of course they do, they're SO freaking protective), but is so scared of love and commitment that I run away at the sign of pursuit from a single one of them. If you know what I mean. It sucks too, cause I've never loved anyone like I do these friends and I love all of them in such a different and beautifully unique way. So my heart is in limbo and I don't know which road to chose. I guess I allready kind of made up my mind, but hindsight is making me question wether my decision was right... :(... I suppose I don't really want any advice, cause I've gotten advice, but I feel like the chick from the notebook - both sides are love, just different kinds and different levels... I'm not sure who's who though... I mean which guy is the TRUE love and which guy is just the amazing love. So my choice is more like uncertainty, and I will end up with really great friends only, and THEY will end up being with someone else and making that person amazingly happy, and I will just sit there alone thinking "that could have been me" but I will smile, and hug them and tell them I am happy that they are happy, and tell the girl that "I hope you know how lucky you are" all the while my heart feels like it's in a million broken pieces. Why does the most beautiful gift that God gave us during our time here on earth seem to be the one that has the ability to hurt the most?
On the bright side my summer is going really great, I suppose it's just confusing. I can't even explain how much I love being home. I really miss everyone though and can't wait to see you guys again. Hopefully by the time school starts back my heart will be fully intact once again... fat chance but we will see.
A really good friend told me "Just put it all on the line, and stop skating around it!" Well, I wish things were easier done than said sometimes...
On the bright side my summer is going really great, I suppose it's just confusing. I can't even explain how much I love being home. I really miss everyone though and can't wait to see you guys again. Hopefully by the time school starts back my heart will be fully intact once again... fat chance but we will see.
A really good friend told me "Just put it all on the line, and stop skating around it!" Well, I wish things were easier done than said sometimes...