I Remembered My Lines

[cassie_newton_]

I woke up at Janice's house, and I woke up crying. Felt like my heart was broken. I had to leave. I left a note for Janice thanking her for all of her help. I couldn't face speaking to anyone. I had this...dream. This wonderful and terrible and colorful black and white dream.

I know he had it too. I know he did. I feel it. He was there with me. Like I can still feel that one brief...

I can't do this. I just want to help, finish helping, I have to do that, make sure everything's okay. After everything's okay, then I can fall apart...or whatever. I don't know. He'll be okay. He's got everything he needs.

I did the right thing, didn't I? I think I did. I wish I could go back and make sure the dream didn't go away from the sunny colorful place. It was nice there. I was happy there. I wish I wouldn't have figured out what I'd been looking for. Or that he'd found what he was. He found me but wasn't he looking for something else? This is all so confusing. My heart hurts. It's weak. Always has been. It's the first time I've thought about it in so long...weak heart. I'll have to get home and take my medication...I don't remember when I took it last, I've been so busy working on fixing things for Avasa. But the hurt feeling reminds me. Maybe it'll feel better after that. Maybe it's just that, and not that I just told him that...

I did the right thing. He doesn't need me around, I did the right thing...I hope. I hope he's okay. Please let him be okay, I don't want there to be heart pains for either of us.


The stage is set
the colors too bright
but they are not enough

I play my part
the music swells
they key is off a note

I say my lines
that hurt my heart
it's all too heavy today

the seats are empty
no one watches
only you there to see

I dance for you
for your smile
remember where I've been

Colors all die
the curtain falls
my part was left to black

a broken play
an empty name
a whisper lost on breath