(no subject)

[cassie__]

i didnt realize until now how i feel...i hate that im so upset all the time. i hate it because im so mean to people. i hate how i regret everything i do, im so damn picky...its like im never satisfied, its like whenever life is getting good i do any look at every negative thing. you were so good to me, you would of done anything for me...anything. and what did i do? i took it for granted...just like everything else. and im so sorry. im so sorry for hurting you. i was thinking today, about everything in general, about everything that has happened in the last year. the things i've said, the things i've done, the thing's i've thought, the way i've acted, and now i realize how much i've changed. some of it is just part of growing up and i need to accept that, but part of it is turning into a stuck up bitch. this isn't for sympathy...and its not for people to write nice things...im simply just letting it all out, so really there is no need to comment. i just want to stop crying. i want to stop hating everyday...i want to stop trying to get thru my day as quickly as possible. i just want to say that i'm sorry. people do make mistakes, all you can do is learn from them...amd i'm trying. i've been a complete hypocrite, and i'm sorry for that as well. i judged people, i lied to people, i talked about people and i treated people like shit, i was a bitch. and i'm really truly sorry for all of that, and i say all that in the past tense because i want it to stay in the past...because im changing now. so i'm sorry if you don't like it, but this is who i am. please dont try to change me. i dont care what people think or what people say anymore. this is my life...mine. i am the only one that has to live it everyday, so if you dont like something that i do or a mistake i make...then dont make it or do it. im going to do what i want to do now. i've realized so much thanks to some of my friends. this is so random but...every girl wants to be beautiful, but if someone thinks you are ugly...they will always think that...no matter what you do. so why care? because everyone that thinks you are beautiful...is going to continue to think you are beautiful. i'm sick of caring so much. i'm sick of trying to please everyone. why does everyone try to make everyone else happy, instead of themselves? i mean...there is a fine line between being selfish and making yourself happy. why is everyone scared of what their friends might think? or how they will react? why is it that friends turn their backs on each other? i swear, most people couldn't be themselves if their life depended on it...me included. so this is to everyone...if you have something to say to me, then say it, please dont hide it. don't ever be afraid to tell me anything. dont every be afraid to cry, dont ever be afraid to tell me you've done something wrong. i love you...all of you and im so sorry if i have ever hurt you.

as we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. you will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. you'll break hearts, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. you'll fight with your best friend. you'll blame a new love for things an old one did. you'll cry because time is passing so fast. you'll eventually lose someone you love. so, take too many pictures, laugh too hard, and love like you have never been hurt, because every minute you spend mad or upset is a minute of happiness that you will never get back...