(no subject)
I know I don't write in this nearly enough but that's because livejournal like every other fad died out quick but I need a place to put my thoughts so here I am. I'm sitting in the study lounge and I'm working to get all my shit done. I'm behind and it is no ones fault but my own, I can't blame it on work, I can't blame it on my relationship, I can't blame it on my friends, but I can blame it on myself. Over the past week I have decided that I may actually have a problem. Why do I leave everything half finished? It's beyond procrastination because people who procrastinate still manage to get their work done...on time. I on the other hand have 4 assignments that were all due last month. I was worrying that my professors would be angry and the I realized that this is not high school and they really don't give a shit. The only person I am hurting is myself. I need to stop this.
So as I am sitting here working my little ass off to keep myself from drowning I am listening to music. I put on Coldplay "The Scientist" because it's a great song and Coldplay is my calming music. This song automatically makes me cry because the day my Little Nana died I saw the video and the words stuck. So it reminds me of her and two years later I still miss her like crazy. I wrote her this letter and when I brought it to her I couldn't read it. So I told myself I would bring it Saturday when I was going back to see her but she died 2 days after she saw my parents and I. I threw it away, I don't know why. I thought it would make it hurt less, I regret that. It was a beautiful letter and I should have kept it as a reminder. I put so much faith in seeing her again that I didn't even say "I love you" before I left her. Yet another regret. Never hesitate to tell someone you love them, it's not worth the risk. You never know what tomorrow will bring.
Yes and all of that was brought on by a single line in a single song. I have to get back to saving myself now. Until next time...
So as I am sitting here working my little ass off to keep myself from drowning I am listening to music. I put on Coldplay "The Scientist" because it's a great song and Coldplay is my calming music. This song automatically makes me cry because the day my Little Nana died I saw the video and the words stuck. So it reminds me of her and two years later I still miss her like crazy. I wrote her this letter and when I brought it to her I couldn't read it. So I told myself I would bring it Saturday when I was going back to see her but she died 2 days after she saw my parents and I. I threw it away, I don't know why. I thought it would make it hurt less, I regret that. It was a beautiful letter and I should have kept it as a reminder. I put so much faith in seeing her again that I didn't even say "I love you" before I left her. Yet another regret. Never hesitate to tell someone you love them, it's not worth the risk. You never know what tomorrow will bring.
Yes and all of that was brought on by a single line in a single song. I have to get back to saving myself now. Until next time...