May 02, 2009 13:12
it was december 24th.
that was the last time i spoke with or saw my mother. we are working on our fifth month of nothing. and it was the same for me and my sister....up until a few days ago when she texted me and said that she and robert were calling it quits and breaking off their engagement...she wanted to see me. so we planned on today. i got excited (first mistake) and ended up with her not showing. so i tried to get ahold of her..and she says she forgot about something she had to do today, sorry for not telling me, blah blah blah. maybe next weekend?? im only good to them when its convienient. so here i am, bummed in front of the computer...again. this isnt the first time she has done this. she must have learned it from my mom, shes an old hand at standing me up.
so why am i complaining, right?
it just proves my point that if i dont make the effort, than nothing will happen. and dammit, im so tired of acting more like the parent while my mother acts like a child. if she wants to see me, she will. and if not, then we will continue down this road of nothing. she never liked me much anyway.
so, really...
im a stranger to them now. probably always was.
so why does it still hurt my feelings....
good question.