A Thinking Day
Today has been a thinking day, and I still have a very long way to go. Have you ever wondered why you are here on Earth? Why did God put you where you are now and why do you go through the things you go through? I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and that God can take the very worse things and make them into a good experience. But I don't know, today I am having a hard time trying to find good in things. I feel like I am missing something in life right now, like something, some chance has passed me by. I know things all happen in God's time. Honestly I don't know what it is that I am missing so much, I have a couple ideas but I don't know. It is just a feeling. I really need to start going to church again. I was thinking about where I was this time last summer. I was in Panama City teaching at Girls Inc. I was also going to church and actually getting involved in things, of course that was before my parents changed churches. I went to church a couple of weekends ago with my uncle and aunt in Alabama. It was such a good service, there was no preaching that Sunday, just pure worship because the spirit moved and I got so much out of it. I really miss that kind of thing. I have tried a lot of churches out in Hattiesburg, I liked some of them as teaching churches, but none of them really moved me. I guess I need to start looking again. That might be part of what is missing. Like I mentioned earlier, I was also teaching the girls. I think a lot about them. I wonder how much of an impact I made on there lives. Some of them really needed someone in there life to help them through things and I don't think I did a very good job. I felt like I could of done a lot more if I would of had the chance. I have changed a lot in a year and I wonder if I had gone back this summer if things with them would of been different. I really feel a need to teach sometimes, but I don't know if I really want to teach music. I love music but I really want to help them, you know, show them God. Wow, I have written a lot of rambling stuff today, and it probably doesn't make any sense. Well, I guess that is all I will write today.
Cassidy
Cassidy