Broken Blood Vessels
I had a weird day today. I woke up late and then went to lunch and then sat on my computer. I think I have tendinitis in my fingers. They're so stiff and sore from not using a mouse. owowowowowowowow.
I've felt so normal and typical and then I go and do shit that dosn't make sense or add up and then I feel so real that I feel unreal. Everything is so real, and I've spent the past few daysweeksmonths being so fucking numb to everything and I feel like I'm waking up and that I've been dreaming forever and ever and I don't remember what I felt like before. I can't watch tv because it makes me feel like I'm dreaming again and then being alone and surreal takes me over. Running water. Having secrets. Hating everything about everything is the story of my life. I'm reading a book about dogs and the Deadful Grate. I'm under the bleachers and I'm caged. Locked up. Ruled by insecurities and lies and intelligence and ignorance and faking fucking everything and then crying over it all and then being indifferent because it all dosn't even matter anyway. And talking like nobody's listening or like everyone is and that what I'm saying is too important for anybody to understand. And that they couldn't possibly understand anyway. Even if they tried, but they aren't and they wont.
I've felt so normal and typical and then I go and do shit that dosn't make sense or add up and then I feel so real that I feel unreal. Everything is so real, and I've spent the past few daysweeksmonths being so fucking numb to everything and I feel like I'm waking up and that I've been dreaming forever and ever and I don't remember what I felt like before. I can't watch tv because it makes me feel like I'm dreaming again and then being alone and surreal takes me over. Running water. Having secrets. Hating everything about everything is the story of my life. I'm reading a book about dogs and the Deadful Grate. I'm under the bleachers and I'm caged. Locked up. Ruled by insecurities and lies and intelligence and ignorance and faking fucking everything and then crying over it all and then being indifferent because it all dosn't even matter anyway. And talking like nobody's listening or like everyone is and that what I'm saying is too important for anybody to understand. And that they couldn't possibly understand anyway. Even if they tried, but they aren't and they wont.