(no subject)
I am so blank with emotions right now.
I have just been totally abandoned by the one person who is always suppose to be there for me..
mentally, physically abandoned
I'm not sure What I'm suppose to feel right now
sad angry bitter alone depressed understanding? what...
all the right answers seem wrong and all the wrong answers seem right
I've been put through so much constantly having to reprove myself over and over again with nothing to show for it. I have him but I'm not sure what i even mean to him?
nothing seems serious on his part but then i can feel that all change in a heart beat. SO much ups and downs
things were going so perfectly this time, i could feel the change in both of us for the better. our relationship was on a new higher level, or so it seemed.
Half of me feels selfish typing this and thinking what i should feel because i do understand his needs and problems. i get he needs to leave and disappear to make himself happy before anything. but it just hurts being told i need to get over my feelings of being abandoned by you, and then not even getting a goodbye when you spur of the moment pick up and run away.
It makes me question so much when i didn't think i had anything to question...
where do we stand
where do I stand to you
Is this constant struggle to make you happy even worth all the pain you continually put me through
I don't know anymore.
I just need something, some kind of answer from you telling me what i need to hear.
My feelings matter too, I need you too. i just wish you could see that as clearly as i see your needs.
I have just been totally abandoned by the one person who is always suppose to be there for me..
mentally, physically abandoned
I'm not sure What I'm suppose to feel right now
sad angry bitter alone depressed understanding? what...
all the right answers seem wrong and all the wrong answers seem right
I've been put through so much constantly having to reprove myself over and over again with nothing to show for it. I have him but I'm not sure what i even mean to him?
nothing seems serious on his part but then i can feel that all change in a heart beat. SO much ups and downs
things were going so perfectly this time, i could feel the change in both of us for the better. our relationship was on a new higher level, or so it seemed.
Half of me feels selfish typing this and thinking what i should feel because i do understand his needs and problems. i get he needs to leave and disappear to make himself happy before anything. but it just hurts being told i need to get over my feelings of being abandoned by you, and then not even getting a goodbye when you spur of the moment pick up and run away.
It makes me question so much when i didn't think i had anything to question...
where do we stand
where do I stand to you
Is this constant struggle to make you happy even worth all the pain you continually put me through
I don't know anymore.
I just need something, some kind of answer from you telling me what i need to hear.
My feelings matter too, I need you too. i just wish you could see that as clearly as i see your needs.