moving on
I write this post on this long forgotten space of mine as I now inch closer to the day I graduate from college. I realize that I only seek this space when I have something on my mind that I want to say, and want to remember that I said
In the blink of an eye, four years have passed since I moved to the US of A to pursue my degree(s). It is scary how a journey that seemed so long and arduous is already coming to an end without me even realizing it. I used to have the perfect notion of my future life - I'd graduate from college and find the perfect job that would earn me all the cha ching $$$ and then get married and have my first kid by the time I'm 25. Now that I am at that point in my life I'm thinking, there's no way I'm going to achieve all that right now, that's too soon. But somewhere 10 years ago the young me had so much faith in the now me and so much hope for the future. It's funny how uncertainty eats at you and sucks you of all the hope and self-worth you have.
On the other hand, I'm still grappling within myself to try and accept that the education part of my life is coming to an end, and it is time, whether I like it or not, to move on to the next dreadfful stage - the work life aka real adulthood. I'm only two weekends away to graduation and that scares me to no end. What am I supposed to do now? Now I can't blame every mistake or folly on the fact that I am a student, my job status is now "unemployed" instead of "student", I can't live my partially worry-free, carefree life anymore, I have to learn to keep to a schedule and sleeping early. The list goes on and the number of changes creeping into my life is going to increase by the minute. There's so much more I wanna do in school that I have never done and will never get the chance to anymore; I don't know specifically what they are, but I know there are so many more things I could've done in my four years.
Oh well. "It's all part of growing up", they say. But what does growing up really entail? - is what nobody ever tells you.
Smoke a j and move on.
In the blink of an eye, four years have passed since I moved to the US of A to pursue my degree(s). It is scary how a journey that seemed so long and arduous is already coming to an end without me even realizing it. I used to have the perfect notion of my future life - I'd graduate from college and find the perfect job that would earn me all the cha ching $$$ and then get married and have my first kid by the time I'm 25. Now that I am at that point in my life I'm thinking, there's no way I'm going to achieve all that right now, that's too soon. But somewhere 10 years ago the young me had so much faith in the now me and so much hope for the future. It's funny how uncertainty eats at you and sucks you of all the hope and self-worth you have.
On the other hand, I'm still grappling within myself to try and accept that the education part of my life is coming to an end, and it is time, whether I like it or not, to move on to the next dreadfful stage - the work life aka real adulthood. I'm only two weekends away to graduation and that scares me to no end. What am I supposed to do now? Now I can't blame every mistake or folly on the fact that I am a student, my job status is now "unemployed" instead of "student", I can't live my partially worry-free, carefree life anymore, I have to learn to keep to a schedule and sleeping early. The list goes on and the number of changes creeping into my life is going to increase by the minute. There's so much more I wanna do in school that I have never done and will never get the chance to anymore; I don't know specifically what they are, but I know there are so many more things I could've done in my four years.
Oh well. "It's all part of growing up", they say. But what does growing up really entail? - is what nobody ever tells you.
Smoke a j and move on.